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Dear procrastinator

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Dear procrastinator

#1
Dear procrastinator,

Procrastination has nothing to do with disciplining yourself or 'just doing it' This is the most common misconception about procrastination and will instead achieve exactly the opposite of what you want. Let me explain:

The reason why human-beings procrastinate is to feel in control of their life. The act of rebelling against an oppressor, an authorative figure telling you what to do, is your way of regaining mastery over your own fate. Very much the same way kids throw a tantrum when their parents order them to do something, the procrastinator puts off tasks because he has come to harbor resentment against the thing to be done. Why, you ask? Because in your admirable will and ambition to achieve your goals, rather ironically, you have created the only thing that can stop you from reaching your goals: a separate mental authority figure causing unneccessary internal strife. You have created a bully out of yourself.

Start listening to the way you talk to yourself; Instead of punishing yourself for not following up on things, you need to learn to let loose. Adopt the belief that you have the natural tendency to work productively and act creatively. Nobody needs to man up, shape up, or be disciplined. Stop framing the world as if it is a constant struggle to get things done, instead start viewing life as a sequence of awesomely fun and exciting things to work on.

Good luck, Edo van Royen

edit: Humbled by your comments, thank you all. I write pretty regularly, just never on a public forum like this.

note: I notice my writing could use some nuance. Painting an extreme is just a style of writing which helps bring across a point. Obviously there are things that are objectively less fun to do.

Re: Dear procrastinator

#3
Wow, this is such good advice. You're right, I'm constantly having stern talks with myself about being a mature, clever guy and so why the heck am I wasting time, etc etc. Thankyou.

Re: Dear procrastinator

#6
This is not true for myself at all!

Actually I think in my case all the stuff you read about procrastination does not really aplly to my procrastination:

I think I am one of the worlds worst procastinators and it took me about 10 years to figure out what might be the main reason for my behaviour. It has nothing to with all the stuff you read in all these procrastination books. It's not about the fear of failing, it's not about the fear of winning, it's not some kind of rebellion against some outside force as you pointed out. It's something completly different:

I never learned to do (unpleasant) stuff!

When I look back on my childhood now, it's very obvious what went wrong: I grew up as a very very spoiled kid which never had to do anything "unpleasant". Did not want to clean up my room? No problem. Did not want to help my parents with preparing lunch? no problem. Did not want to do homework? no problem.

From all those years growing up I can remember only one occasion at which my mother tried to force me to do something. But since I was already 12 or so that this time, she gave up after 10 minutes.

I never learned to endure the "stress" or "pain" of all those unpleasant things I have to do (washing clothing, cooking, ...) so it's very hard for me to do them intstead of just browsing the internet and get instant satisfaction.

In combination with some above average intelligence and a very big portion of luck I was still able to study with good grades and I'm currently in my second year of a PhD thesis. For me it's hell on earth! Giving lectures, preparing papers, filling out forms, applying for grants, ... I postpone all of this stuff all the time not because I am afraid i could not do them or because they are pushed on me from the outside. I postpone them because I never learned to actually _do_ unpleasant stuff.

Does this makes sense? English is not my first language and the topic is quite hard to describe.

Re: Dear procrastinator

#8
Very well written Edo, thanks! While I disagree that this applies to all cases of procrastination, it definitely applies to many, and was very eye (and mind) opening to read.

Curious if you have other writings posted anywhere? I'd love to read more about your thoughts on other topics.

Re: Dear procrastinator

#10
Great post. Many great things can be achieved with a short burst of energy/focus, but these things are often temporary and unsustainable, which is why the Man Up approach gets trumped by the I Will Continue To Do Better approach once real life kicks in.
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