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My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

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Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#71
You would think with how huge and renown amazon is as a company they would have their pick of top engineers. It's not the case. None of my friends that work in Facebook, Google, Microsoft, and other unicorns even consider applying to Amazon on their job search. It's actually pretty comical, I have no idea where Amazon gets their talent pool from.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#72

A tip: If anyone finds themselves in a tragic situation like this where they can’t work but also can’t afford to take leave, investigate your short and long-term disability benefits ASAP. Also read up on the documentation necessary to begin disability claims. Engage with a doctor early on who can document the severe depressive symptoms that are preventing work (which the author specifically cites in his anecdote). Do…

In the US, the Family and Medical Leave Act (FMLA) provides certain employees with up to 12 weeks of unpaid, job-protected leave per year. It also requires that their group health benefits be maintained during the leave.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#73
post #51
post #42

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Given that we gladly give 6 months paid maternity to those who choose to have children, I'm fairly sure we'd give this chap a break. I cannot believe the inhumanity in this thread.

Most of the time on maternity leave is typically unpaid. If I understand correctly, this guy refused to take leave on reduced pay.

Grandparent specifically mentioned paid leave. As far as I know, many companies are now switching to 12-24 week paid leave models for maternity/paternity leave.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#75

A tip: If anyone finds themselves in a tragic situation like this where they can’t work but also can’t afford to take leave, investigate your short and long-term disability benefits ASAP. Also read up on the documentation necessary to begin disability claims. Engage with a doctor early on who can document the severe depressive symptoms that are preventing work (which the author specifically cites in his anecdote). Do…

Another HN user posted—and then deleted—this comment: > I worry that many people in such a situation may not have the right frame of mind to be able to find, read, understand, and absorb what is normally quite dry reading material requiring often ending in something requiring exceptional perseverance. (I noticed because I was writing a reply.) I think it’s a good comment! And I think that is why you do it now. It’s j…

That’s actually misleading, but a common misconception: The process is much less demanding than trying to continue working a demanding job at Amazon, for example.

Disability claims are a common target for fraud and abuse so getting some early documentation from a medical professional is important. Engaging with medical professionals is something anyone with debilitating depression should be doing ASAP anyway, so it’s not much of an extra step just for the claim.

The rest can be started by calling the disability insurance and asking about the process. Some company’s HR teams might even help direct employees to the benefit because they’d rather retain the employee if possible and also use the insurance for its intended purpose of covering periods of disability (rather than firing the employee or paying for someone who is unable to perform). YMMV with how much you trust HR departments, though, so best to call the disability insurance company first.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#76
I wish we had a #MeToo for horrible corporate environments. Amazon is an atrocious place to work at, and even though I'm no fan of cancel culture, if any case begs for naming and shaming, it's got to be this one. There are people that make these decisions. Amazon isn't some "monolith" where no one has free will. That argument didn't work for WW2 Nazi guards, so why should it work here? "Just following orders" isn't good enough.

I've been approached dozens of times by Amazon -- by recruiters, but even by hiring managers -- and I'm sure I'd get paid a ton. But I could never morally justify working for such a garbage company in 1000 years.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#78

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Very much this. You always want to be asking HR for an accommodation that is protected by law. Then HR enters into the mode of protecting the company by ensuring they don't get in trouble for violating the law. You go in and say "Hey my wife is dying and my performance is probably going to be impacted, can something be done?", HR may opt to 'protect' the company by starting to build a case for terminating a low perfo…

Oh wow. This (especially with respect to the mental model of the incentives for how a company works on the inside) should be taught in school.

You mean as a way to show kids that no morality exists in a context that allows one to be a faceless HR department? Despicable.

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#79
post #52

Believe it or not, this isn't a rare attitude among managers at Amazon. A significant percentage of SDMs believe they must "keep a high bar" and remove any dissenting subordinates. Word has gotten out about it, mostly on the blind app, which forced Amazon to raise pay bands for engineers 50-100k. This is costing the company a lot of money. The difference going forwards for Amazon is that the stock is mostly stagnant,…

What is the blind app?

[deleted]

Re: My Wife Was Dying of Brain Cancer. My Boss at Amazon Told Me to Perform or Quit

#80

I don‘t understand how someone smart enough to make 300.000 a year (That is an insane fortune to almost everyone, even in first world countries) feels entitled to a month-, year-long reduction of performance expectations because of personal tragedy. There are thousands waiting for his position and they would kill to get it.

It seems no more entitled than expecting health insurance or personal disability leave to me. Nearly all of us will face a few personal derailments that leave us unable to function much at some point in our lives. We could recognize that fact and mutually insure each other against it. Or we could just throw each other to the wolves? Do you want a cut-throat hellhole that will dispose of you as soon as possible, or just a nice place to work? Most of us want the latter, I think. Probably shouldn't be up to the employer like this anyway. The public employment insurance in my country covers partial pay for up to a year to look after a dying relative.
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