The Mash nailed this last week https://www.thedailymash.co.uk/politics/britain-facing-long-...
Government unveils ‘guaranteed to work’ petrol track & trace app to beat fuel crisis
https://newsthump.com/2021/09/27/government-unveils-guarante...
"You put in your location and details, and then next Tuesday you’ll get an appointment to get precisely three litres of fuel from a pump in Sunderland"