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I just don’t want to be busy anymore

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Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#161
post #155

One thing that helped me is not to care so much about my employer's goals. It's almost heretical. But once you embrace this mindset, it does wonders. Or at least, it has for me so far. I think a lot of us want to be proud of the work we do, and we feel that if we slack off, then we shouldn't be proud. But it's the other way around. I think the slackers have it right. You're probably not going to get rich from working…

This is tough if you actually try to have a team-oriented mindset. I’ve worked in groups (hard to really call them a team) where everyone, everyone , stiff armed duties. The end result is that the hard stuff, or low status stuff, never got done. I get there’s a balance, but if you entered a career where you actually care about the mission, it’s hard to just see that mission suffer because people want to take the easy…

I don’t want overworked medical professionals. I want the hospitals to hire more people to work healthy 8 hour shifts.

There is a viable different approach, but the employers do not like it. Let’s stop pretending.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#162

One thing that helped me is not to care so much about my employer's goals. It's almost heretical. But once you embrace this mindset, it does wonders. Or at least, it has for me so far. I think a lot of us want to be proud of the work we do, and we feel that if we slack off, then we shouldn't be proud. But it's the other way around. I think the slackers have it right. You're probably not going to get rich from working…

Do you have OnCall shifts?

The only on-call I accept these days are ones that I get to bill my full rate for the entire time whether they call me or not. Most companies don't accept this deal, but I don't need or want to work for most companies.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#163

I think it’s pretty clear we have an epidemic of burnout on our hands. I think it’s a new phenomenon. And I think immersive online experiences are the underlying cause. I’ve lived much of my life for the past 30 years in virtual spaces of one form or another, from MUDs to IRC to MMORPGs to early and then fully evolved social media. As commercial virtual space showed up, I noticed the engagement hooks and potential fo…

Do you have OnCall shifts?

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#164
post #110

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That’s my point, by bringing it up in the article you can deflect most of the comments that would _try_ to turn the discussion towards race. Whether the author genuinely feels like that or not... who knows.

What's the opposite of a dog whistle?

I've read that elephants can produce very low frequency sounds (sub-20Hz) that travel long distances and can't be perceived by smaller animals.

"Elephant infrasound" just doesn't quite have the same ring to it as "dog whistle", though.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#165

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not OP, but I usually go to bed at 10 and wake up at 4:30 or 5. It only sucks if you are a night owl.

That's like 6-7 hours of sleep (below recommended normal). Do you take naps during day time?

I have the same schedule. I don’t take naps, and I can’t sleep more than 7 hours unless I’ve really pushed myself into exhaustion or I’m ill.

Ever since the Apple Watch came out, I tracked my sleep and for the last two years I average 6.5 hours, no matter what.

I just kind of assumed it was a consequence of becoming older.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#166

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This doesn’t mean no effort. This means putting effort into saying no. There’s a difference, and school (and parents) don’t teach us the distinction.

Saying no is easy once you get passed the initial mental block. Let's not pretend otherwise. It's certainly easier than doing the work. That's the entire premise of your argument.

It’s not so easy. I thought it was.

Many people — perhaps most — are inclined to be afraid of saying no.

You also can’t say no to homework assignments. So we learn the behavior early in life.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#167

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And SO and kids?

Don't underestimate the practicality of telling people to fuck off, even if it will have to be put in different words. If for some reason that's not practical, then that's a problem in itself, so try working on that. As harsh as it might sound to put it this way, the answer for how some people will be able to manage better with their SO and kids is, "because I don't have your SO and kids for my SO and kids," or more…

>> Don't underestimate the practicality of telling people to fuck off, even if it will have to be put in different words.

A valuable (possibly the most?) life skill is to be able to tell people to fuck off in the most sincere and HR approved way imaginable, it's very empowering, would recommend 10 for 10.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#169
post #136

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I have recently jumped ship from an employer of 3 years after adopting a similar attitude. New Job will pay me double and as such will help me achieve my goals. Old Company said if I stayed I could achieve a 25% increase in TC if I continued to work on "impactful projects" for 2 years or so. But those projects are the ones I hated there (otherwise a great company) I've seen first hand when developers leave how all th…

>Old Company said if I stayed I could achieve a 25% increase [within 2 years] For existing employees, this is rather high, but as you did, you should discount this. To get that boost with your current employer, you need to (i) be irreplaceable for a critical service; or (ii) show proof of external offers. HR/Finance will sets wages at low-mid market so that the 10 other high performing/underpaid employees in your sit…

My TC increased 7-10%/yr each year I was there, so the promise is inline with expectations. Me and my partner just can't wait 2 years for 25% when I can have 2x now. Even with 2x, raising kids will be financially challenging.

Re: I just don’t want to be busy anymore

#170
One way to define "busy" is that your time has a high opportunity cost. You could get ahead on the project, which seems to be worth a lot. And it makes you feel bad about playing a board game with your kid or going shoe shopping with your wife. Tactically, working on the project always seems like a win.

But strategically, it's not. You need to do those "boring" things that make up some of the best aspects of life, and help you build deeper relationships.

If you need to work to put food on the table, then work. Your family will feel you around because your contributions are meaningful, and you can still build great relationships. But if you are just working to get a bigger house or a new car, then it's not really the same thing.

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