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Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

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Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#61

Post by krageon »

freen wrote: post #28
terramex wrote: post #11

As a more general advice - person in position of power should not joke about causing harm. Whether is is manager joking about firing employee, stronger person joking about beating up weaker one or parent joking about throwing child out of house when they misbehave. This kind of humor works only when it is coming from weaker position and even then only in certain situations.

Now, think about your position of power in a historical context. Are you a member of a group that has traditionally held power? A gender that has traditionally been considered “superior” or “acceptable”? Same thing applies there too.

This sort of performative signaling isn't helping the cause you are ostensibly championing. There's ways to interact with other people that don't start out from a position of confrontation, those are far more likely to prevent folks from having a knee-jerk dismissal response to you.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#63

Post by roflc0ptic »

mk89 wrote: post #18
roflc0ptic wrote: post #13

Earlier quoted context omitted.

not a lot of upside to jokes like that. it's not wildly funny, and it might freak someone out.

How is it funny that your manager tells you as a joke that he is gonna fire you? The truth it: neither of them is a joke. It's just pure BS that comes either out of sheer and innocent incompetence or stupidity.

I didn't say it was funny. I also think joking about firing people 1. isn't funny, and 2. risks freaking people out.

A good rule of thumb is "don't make gambles where the best-case scenario is that nothing bad happens."

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#64

Post by mk89 »

roflc0ptic wrote: post #63
mk89 wrote: post #18

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How is it funny that your manager tells you as a joke that he is gonna fire you? The truth it: neither of them is a joke. It's just pure BS that comes either out of sheer and innocent incompetence or stupidity.

I didn't say it was funny. I also think joking about firing people 1. isn't funny, and 2. risks freaking people out. A good rule of thumb is "don't make gambles where the best-case scenario is that nothing bad happens."

I think I misread your comment :)

I think that another way to prevent it is by asking yourself if the other person will find it funny.

That's a general advice not just specific to firing/leaving a company.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#65

Post by ludamad »

Wowfunhappy wrote: post #47
option_greek wrote: post #30

Don't Joke is a good advice in general for management and leadership. You have to assume people will read into most of the stuff you say as you are their primary information conduit for anything related to workplace.

While I certainly agree that jokes are dangerous , they're also a key way humans form social connections! I do think a sense of humor is important for building a rapport with colleagues.

As management especially, joke clearly. There is far more weight on you to not mislead than for the "keep a serious atmosphere" that some might take it as

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#66

Post by pantulis »

bootlooped wrote: post #19

I have made this mistake, I think the damage was between none and low but I still regretted it.

This is truly a mistake. I did adopt the pose of the bastard boss in a tongue-in-cheek fashion (for example breaking a printed vacation request) and never got nothing but a good laugh in response.

But this is toxic behaviour an in a multicultural environment can be damaging to the team and personally devastating. Just don't.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#67

Post by pc86 »

arthur_sav wrote: post #7

What about quitting? I always joke about quitting

The reason you don't joke about firing someone is because of the power imbalance. The employee will usually be in a bad spot if they actually are fired, and the company will be fine (usually better off, even). Furthermore, there's no real recourse on the employee side. If they are offended by the joke they can't really complain, because if the boss is so tone deaf as to joke about firing, they're unlikely to take criticism like that well.

No such power imbalance exists with an employee joking about quitting, but I also struggle to think of any situation in which it's actually a funny joke to make.

Re: Advice to New Managers: Don't Joke About Firing People (2020)

#70

Post by tnvaught »

option_greek wrote: post #30

Don't Joke is a good advice in general for management and leadership. You have to assume people will read into most of the stuff you say as you are their primary information conduit for anything related to workplace.

I would refine this advice to "sarcasm is never appropriate in an uneven power dynamic." Whether it's in the context of parenting, teaching or managing people. As a go-to form of humor, I've learned this the hard way. It's not actually helpful for folks to hear the hilarious monologue going on in my head when I'm feeling salty. There _are_ legitimately relationship-building funny things to say, but they're usually self-effacing and, at best, complementary to others.
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