Earlier quoted context omitted.
I was about to quibble with > Females have a biological incentive to be more choosy than men as their reproductive investment is much higher until I saw you had also written > If each woman and each man can only choose one partner, i would expect the choosiness of men and women to become much more equal which is the missing piece I was going to add. > In reality we know that humans historically have not really been m…
It seems that your definition of "good husbands and fathers" implicitly disallows non-monogamous interactions. I would bet that men (from couples) who have clear and open communication can be otherwise very loving partners and devoted parents without also having to be monogamous. If you zoom out just a bit and look at what is physically occurring, why should it be that physically touching someone else would prevent y…
Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
141–150 of 159 posts
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#142Earlier quoted context omitted.
> in the typical contemporary urban center, you're just as likely to end up on someone's "I don't owe you my attention" tiktok video as you are to have a mutually positive interaction. I'm surprised to hear you describe those odds as undesirable. 50% chance of a positive interaction is an order of magnitude higher than I would have estimated. Even if there's only a 5% chance of a positive interaction, parent poster's…
This would be true if the world were not as highly interconnected as it is. Nobody wants to risk this "failure" being broadcasted and possibly following them through virality. People today are not allowed to "fail safely" so to speak. Not without social penalties even outside their immediate social circle.
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#143Earlier quoted context omitted.
You say that like spending money on marriage is a bad thing. But effectively, if you marry someone who earns less than you, you're paying money to maintain that marriage for the rest of your life anyway.
This is not necessarily true, beyond the fact that you must pay to live no matter what. If you have one person making, say, $300k/year and another making $60k/year, together you share a bedroom, share a fridge, share a stove, share a living room, etc. Your total costs could lower than they would be otherwise.
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#144Earlier quoted context omitted.
> I wonder what, if anything, will replace dating apps. A friend of mine, John, first met his future wife while accompanying a third friend to an evening of speed dating. The thing is, neither John nor his now wife, actually participated . They were both there, begrudgingly providing moral support to their respective friends, and smugly watching the whole spectacle from the sidelines, when they struck up conversation…
Hey, this is exactly how I met my now wife and we've never heard anyone else with this story before! Long shot, but did this happen in Los Angeles?
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#145Earlier quoted context omitted.
>>Ironically the old fashioned matchmaker who only took a fee after the wedding had much better aligned incentives. And that, right there, is probably the key principle for a solid matchmaking app...
I wrote it in another older thread: Make a service that asks you for say $1000 USD upfront and then pays you back partially every month until you find a match. Of course there must be logistics against anuse/fraud. But that would align incentives.
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#146This guy is me. Interested in this chat. And how I can improve my model. Get more info about the project at noodler.substack.com
Just to help out, since the URL above isn’t a complete clickable link, here’s a link to the details of the experiment and reward model: https://noodler.substack.com/p/the-ball-and-chain-letter
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#147Earlier quoted context omitted.
>>Ironically the old fashioned matchmaker who only took a fee after the wedding had much better aligned incentives. And that, right there, is probably the key principle for a solid matchmaking app...
The incentives for marriage in society today (atleast here) make this less of a financially viable thing: - less social pressure to get married than for my grandparents - less financial incentive through tax benefits already applying if you live together here (to not prefer any religous belief system) edit: formatting
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#148This guy is me. Interested in this chat. And how I can improve my model. Get more info about the project at noodler.substack.com
With no offense intended, I think the "dating affiliate" model you've come up with should be totally scrapped.
First, having your friends send your "profile" to women they know as email "bait" is cringe. Imagine you're a woman who receives this email. What would you think? My guess is that a lot of women will find it creepy or desperate, even if you really are a nice guy and great catch. Even consider how your "experiment" is being portrayed in this news article: you're "tired" of online dating, not enjoying it and have been looking for years without luck. All negative.
Second, you're asking women (who you call "candidates") to take time to submit a profile so that a committee of your friends can decide whether they're worthy of your attention. There's a fundamental disconnect here: the supply of dates you consider to be of sufficient quality is apparently low but you're treating the women as if the opposite is true. Not a good look.
Third, you want to meet a woman and get married right? If a woman applies for the job, why not be respectful and make a decision about whether you want to go out on a date or not? Once again, I think any woman who encounters this "experiment" is going to see this as a huge negative. As a general rule, women are more attracted to men who are decisive and take responsibility for their lives. It doesn't mean you have to act like a NAVY Seal but I believe asking your friends to decide who you date is going to be unattractive to the vast majority of women.
Fourth, I think you should consider the possibility that how you're presenting yourself will have a bigger impact on your results than the model you use to distribute your "profile".
You describe yourself as a "fun guy serious about love" but again, put yourself in a woman's shoes. Does the very next sentence ("steady income, with a good credit rating") scream "fun!"? Do your requirements/preferences for a woman ("You’re kind and have a curious mind. Live within 10km of Vancouver. Or have good wifi") make it seem like you really know what you're looking for, or provide enough meaningful detail so that you might connect with someone you share a unique common interest, hobby, etc. with?
The quality of your presentation makes all the difference and again with no offense intended, I don't think you've got your profile down. Great profiles gets interest, lackluster ones don't. In any channel. Having your friends deliver your profile to women through email won't change that.
Finally, introductions from friends to potential dates can be a really good way to meet women. You shouldn't have to pay your friends to introduce you. If you've let your friends know that you're single and hoping to meet someone and they never introduce you to anyone, it's worth figuring out why.
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#149Earlier quoted context omitted.
I wrote it in another older thread: Make a service that asks you for say $1000 USD upfront and then pays you back partially every month until you find a match. Of course there must be logistics against anuse/fraud. But that would align incentives.
If you found a match, how would the site know that you matched successfully if you didn't want the site to know (so you could recover the full amount)?
Re: Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion
#150Earlier quoted context omitted.
If you found a match, how would the site know that you matched successfully if you didn't want the site to know (so you could recover the full amount)?
They would continue to setup dates and if you stopped showing up they could treat that date as the new relationship date.