Tired of dating apps, Vancouver man launches social experiment to find companion

Post by [deleted] » Sun, Sep 19, 2021, 12:21 PM UTC

emptysongglass wrote: post #89

doctorwho42 wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately okcupid has trended away from what it was 5+ years ago. My last SO was through okcupid right before they changed the incentives in the system. Now it has been driven towards the same swipe culture as all the other apps. Though you can still answer questions and write detailed profile... The system doesn't seem to promote that as much. My key gripe right now with how it is setup is that the only discover…

I really want to call out the technical founders here, Chris Coyne and Max Krohn, because they've done nothing but leave a legacy of abandoned products in the hands of untrustworthy companies: in the case of OkCupid they sold to Match.com which devastated the site committing it to the same wastebasket as Match.com's portfolio of other predatory dating products. Then they created Keybase, which was fantastic, before s…

Post by rubyist5eva » Sun, Sep 19, 2021, 12:59 PM UTC

fn-mote wrote: post #57

rubyist5eva wrote: post #15

Whatever happened to just asking pretty girls you see on dates? That’s how I met my wife. Total stranger, gave her my number and asked her out for coffee. Been married ten years now.

> Total stranger, gave her my number and asked her out [...] I'm really, genuinely glad this worked out for you. When feminists talk about the objectification of women, though, I think this is a prime example. (Admittedly there are no details.) The assumption that bothers me is that it is ok to approach a "pretty girl" about entering into a relationship. Isn't this problem as old as the hills? > Why can't I walk down…

Post by emacsen » Sun, Sep 19, 2021, 1:55 PM UTC

klipt wrote: post #14

doctorwho42 wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Unfortunately okcupid has trended away from what it was 5+ years ago. My last SO was through okcupid right before they changed the incentives in the system. Now it has been driven towards the same swipe culture as all the other apps. Though you can still answer questions and write detailed profile... The system doesn't seem to promote that as much. My key gripe right now with how it is setup is that the only discover…

The incentives of dating apps are all wrong for the daters. They want to maximize users, which means they want you to keep dating through the app forever. Finding you a great long term match is, from their perspective, losing a repeat customer . Ironically the old fashioned matchmaker who only took a fee after the wedding had much better aligned incentives.

Post by arvinsim » Sun, Sep 19, 2021, 1:59 PM UTC

minikomi wrote: post #87

vgel wrote: post #46

I wonder what, if anything, will replace dating apps. As someone who tried dating apps for a while, I never had much luck with them. I ended up meeting my wife in person at the LGBTQ center at my college, we were friends for awhile, started dating, then got married a couple years later. I'm not sure what dating apps optimize for. It's easy to say "for hookups!", but it seems like a very low% of matches on those apps…

I think a largely unsolved problem is it's more satisfying to match than to re-kindle a conversation with a past match. The window after a match where a conversation can spark and lead to an offline interaction is fleeting and, once gone, it feels weird to re-message a past match.

Post by nly » Sun, Sep 19, 2021, 2:01 PM UTC

vgel wrote: post #46

I wonder what, if anything, will replace dating apps. As someone who tried dating apps for a while, I never had much luck with them. I ended up meeting my wife in person at the LGBTQ center at my college, we were friends for awhile, started dating, then got married a couple years later. I'm not sure what dating apps optimize for. It's easy to say "for hookups!", but it seems like a very low% of matches on those apps…