I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
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I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
1–10 of 20 posts
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#2Also don't forget: Nice guys finish last
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#3I have no doubt that someone reading this ( and certainly, I , at 4 decades on this planet am in that club) badly needs to follow this line of thinking...
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#4> ”You are thirty-five years old,” I said to myself. “More than half of your life has already been spent. Who is living your life, anyway? Is it actually yours?
Yeah, that’s why I don’t want to have a job with a boss.
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#5Previous thread from 2012: https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=4969041
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#6One of my biggest pet peeves about human nature is around expectation. You do something nice for someone a few times and suddenly they expect the kindness. Now kindness from you is just normal, not a pleasant surprise. In fact, you owe them the kindness. You've created a debt for yourself. And if you cease in your kindness, you've now harmed them, you've taken something owed to them!
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#7One of my biggest pet peeves about human nature is around expectation. You do something nice for someone a few times and suddenly they expect the kindness. Now kindness from you is just normal, not a pleasant surprise. In fact, you owe them the kindness. You've created a debt for yourself. And if you cease in your kindness, you've now harmed them, you've taken something owed to them!
I fail to understand why this is such a big problem in non-professional settings. Yes, if I do a nice gesture to my boss I do not want him to assume this is the new normal, and I'm expected to do this nice thing on a regular basis. If they want me to do it on a regular basis, I want them to declare this as part of my job description.
But friendship requires give and take. And, it seems to me, when you do a nice gesture to a friend, you're signaling them this is your end of the "give". As long as you stay friends I think it's expected of you that you'll continue doing yhings that are useful to your friend. Of course, you reserve your right to change the good deeds, but when you stop doing anything, it seems reasonable for your friend to question whether you're willing to continue the friendship.
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#8One of my biggest pet peeves about human nature is around expectation. You do something nice for someone a few times and suddenly they expect the kindness. Now kindness from you is just normal, not a pleasant surprise. In fact, you owe them the kindness. You've created a debt for yourself. And if you cease in your kindness, you've now harmed them, you've taken something owed to them!
I fail to understand why this is such a big problem in non-professional settings. Yes, if I do a nice gesture to my boss I do not want him to assume this is the new normal, and I'm expected to do this nice thing on a regular basis. If they want me to do it on a regular basis, I want them to declare this as part of my job description. But friendship requires give and take. And, it seems to me, when you do a nice gestu…
That distinction is artificial IMO - you maintain relationship because you have something to gain in either case, be it work or friendship (different things tho). Its not like situation you have with kids or family where "unconditional love" is a thing.
So if friend expects nice guesture all the time, I will sooner or later think he is exploiting me (and other friends), has no measure and doesn't appreciate my time which will 100% of the time lead in my case to termination of the said "friendship".
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#9One of my biggest pet peeves about human nature is around expectation. You do something nice for someone a few times and suddenly they expect the kindness. Now kindness from you is just normal, not a pleasant surprise. In fact, you owe them the kindness. You've created a debt for yourself. And if you cease in your kindness, you've now harmed them, you've taken something owed to them!
I think friendships develop when people keep this exchange going for a long time. You can trust that your friend is not going to take advantage of you.
Re: I Quit Being So Accommodating (1922)
#10"And, finally, I am persuaded that no one ever achieves anything worth-while in this world unless he has so great a respect for his work that he compels all other men to respect it."
Distilled wisdom right here. On a tangent, old English is always a nice read. Sentences had more elegance.