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A stranger secretly lived in my home

theguardian.com

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Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#141

Post by cultofmetatron »

xnyan wrote: post #117
corndoge wrote: post #109

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> The pendulum needed to swing toward protecting women by default He owned the house. If she felt in danger, the cops should come and escort her out of the house that doesn't belong to her. I don't see how your story is related to this.

If you legally live in someone’s home, in most jurisdictions (in the US) then you have at least some rights even if you don’t pay rent. The alternative is that one partner can abuse the other, then throw them out on the street if they wish or if the victim complains. I think it would be better if there was a real third option, but I’m not aware of it.

> The alternative is that one partner can abuse the other, then throw them out on the street if they wish

Thats literally what happened here. You have a blindspot to men being the victim like the person here was.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#142

Post by sooheon »

WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #70
vegetablepotpie wrote: post #53

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Right, but laws enforced selectively based on feelings is its own form of tyranny.

It can be but usually isn't. The value of a local, penalty-backed law is in it's ability to guide bulk behavior. These laws imply a bargain we make with our governments, that enforcement will be limited to the stated objective. Reducing traffic speeds by citing a few speeders - this upholds that bargain. Citing every possible speeder while those fines fatten the police budget is a gross perversion.

> Citing every possible speeder while those fines fatten the police budget is a gross perversion.

Tying budget to citations is a perversion. Applying the law equally to everyone is just. You're conflating two issues.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#143

Post by foerbert »

SkipperCat wrote: post #32
whirlingdervish wrote: post #24

A couple years ago one of the devs I work with came in to the office very early for some reason and discovered a man sleeping in one of the conference rooms. After the fact we discovered that an emergency exit door wasn’t locking properly. He didn’t take anything even though he could have easily made off with tens of thousands of dollars of electronics. He just needed somewhere to sleep.

Sadly that person could be charged with a crime instead of being recognized as a person in need. We should be viewing these situations as a cry for help instead of a criminal activity. This is what I hoped the "Defund the Police" movement was targeting. Sadly that phrase had good intentions but pretty bad optics.

This has been true of many recent movements. I wish I knew what was behind it. I'm sure it can be explained by humans being humans, but part of me can't help but wonder if it isn't intentional.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#144

Post by sushid »

rkk3 wrote: post #97
pen2l wrote: post #7

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I visited SanFran a couple of years ago, and this reminded me of a homeless guy, in his late 60s I imagine, that I saw at a fast food chain. So I was I think at in-and-out, and a homeless guy was going through the garbage bin to find food. When I came over to dump my stuff in the bin, he was immediately considerate and stepped aside so I could dump the covers and napkins, whilst making sibilant sounds and keeping his…

> I remember thinking, well, he smelled and I tried to avoid physical contact, but was there really a need to make him leave A homeless person was going through the garbage in the middle of a fast food restaurant... yeah, I assume that would be off-putting to customers & detrimental to their business.

Yeah I really don't understand this line of thinking. I imagine most would sheepishly agree that they would also do the same thing if it were their restaurant.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#145

Post by katbyte »

RcouF1uZ4gsC wrote: post #132
hellbannedguy wrote: post #116

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I did a similar thing in San Francisco when working at the ballpark. Someone smashed my window, and someone stole my radio. (I knew the cops wouldn't do anything besides laugh.) Didn't care about the radio, but that window bothered me. I decided to keep the doors unlocked, and carried a portable radio to work. (Too cheap to pay for parking.) I put a sign on the rear window, "Please go ahead and sit in the truck, or s…

> I think my truck was being used as a drug drop, That could actually end up getting you in legal trouble, and at the least get your car seized.

Yay America?

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#146

Post by jrochkind1 »

morpheos137 wrote: post #128
jacquesm wrote: post #127

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Neither are all people that are housed normally.

True but your property should be your safe space. You are free to welcome homeless into your home or car if you want but understand that by doing so you are taking a risk.

you're free to drive your car if you want too, but understand that by doing so you are taking a risk.

It's probably important that we think of everything we do in life primarily in terms of how risky it is.

But really, you think someone can't fuck up your car unless you give them permission to?

But yes, letting a stranger sleep in your car certainly could get weird, it's true. I'm sure most people reading this didn't realize that was a possible outcome so it's good you made sure to tell them twice just in case they were going to do so, because some readers might not realize that humans can do unkind things to each other, because some readers might be extraterrestrial visitors or recent immigrants from a fictional small island where everyone is nice, or something like that.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#147

Post by fighterpilot »

snypher wrote: post #135
morpheos137 wrote: post #128

Earlier quoted context omitted.

True but your property should be your safe space. You are free to welcome homeless into your home or car if you want but understand that by doing so you are taking a risk.

Replace 'homeless' with 'people' and I totally agree.

But there could be an elevated risk with homeless due to higher proportion with mental health issues. The probability of a bad outcome is unlikely to be identical between homeless and not-homeless.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#148

Post by danielheath »

overgard wrote: post #123
WarOnPrivacy wrote: post #74

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> Yes. His house. She told the cops she felt in danger. Cops told him he had to stay somewhere else and go through the eviction process. Mad world. The pendulum needed to swing toward protecting women by default. As these things happen, it may have swung to a point where nuance needs to be applied. Your example seems fairly complex. I couldn't opine on it w/o knowing the details of the complaint. I can offer a differ…

> The pendulum needed to swing There's no pendulum, there's just doing the right thing and the wrong thing. Doing something wrong in the other direction is just as bad.

The world operates on heuristics, not perfect information, and we can’t make the right decision in every case.

Something can be the best available policy and also cause to poor outcomes in some situations.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#149

Post by nkrisc »

morpheos137 wrote: post #125
jacquesm wrote: post #99

I had a tacit agreement with a homeless guy I discovered one day sleeping in my car. I'll keep the doors unlocked and you don't mess it up and by 7 am you're gone. He was by far the best tenant I ever had, we did this for close to two years and then I moved. The area where I lived was an older industrial zone in the East of Amsterdam, there wasn't a whole lot around there other than a salvation army post and I figure…

That is great but not all homeless are benign. See https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tommy_Lynn_Sells >On May 13, 1992, a 19-year-old woman in Charleston, West Virginia, was driving when she saw Sells panhandling under an overpass with a sign that said, "I will work for food."[1] She felt sorry for him and took him to her home, asking him to wait outside. She went into her home to get some food for him, and by the time…

Most serial killers are not homeless. Beware of anyone who lives in a house, they may be a serial killer.

Re: A stranger secretly lived in my home

#150

Post by mrow84 »

cultofmetatron wrote: post #141
xnyan wrote: post #117

Earlier quoted context omitted.

If you legally live in someone’s home, in most jurisdictions (in the US) then you have at least some rights even if you don’t pay rent. The alternative is that one partner can abuse the other, then throw them out on the street if they wish or if the victim complains. I think it would be better if there was a real third option, but I’m not aware of it.

> The alternative is that one partner can abuse the other, then throw them out on the street if they wish Thats literally what happened here. You have a blindspot to men being the victim like the person here was.

How do you know she abused him? Seems like you’re jumping to conclusions; (almost) none of us know anything about the situation so perhaps it is better to avoid speculating?
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