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Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

mehretbiruk.com

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Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#31
I think one effect not often mentioned is the particular pairing of social media with smartphones, where the smartphone is the key agent of change, not social media.

In the very early stages of social media, say the era of blogs, MySpace, and forums like these, there were no smartphones.

People would live their normal lives during the day, and perhaps reserve an hour or so of "computer time". Where they physically sit behind a desktop with a keyboard. So for some 90% of the day, they were not distracted by anything, and during computer time, they would find themselves using a device very suitable for deep engagement. On a desktop, it's easy enough to read deep content and to respond at length.

With the arrival of smartphones, social media are with you 100% of the time. It may interfere with your important time (your work, your sleep), but if not that, at the very least it will suck up any spare moment that you used to spent on just being bored or waiting for something.

And as we know, this still is only the basic consequence. It may affect one's relationships, distort their politics, cause depression, and replace healthy physical activities, as the article mentions.

Besides the smartphone intruding on your life non-stop, there's the issue that smartphones really suck. They are poor reading devices and even worse engagement devices.

So content has to be snack-sized. A tweet. A 6 second video. Preferably vertical, to save me from the massive effort of turning my phone. And auto-play, as I don't want to hit next or scroll. This trend of escalating effortless consumption turns into disturbing deficiencies in people. Not being able to focus on anything for any stretch of time.

As an engagement device, it has to be simple too. A like, a heart, and a one-line comment at best, full of typos. Because you can't really type well on a smartphone. So deep engagement is dead, replaced with status (likes, retweets).

This combination of effects (100% with you, snack-size content, poor engagement) can all be attributed to the smartphone specifically, in combination with social media. Not social media in itself.

There was an interesting experiment when I took my niece (18 yo) on a 3 week trip through a tropical nation with basically no connectivity at all. She's the stereotypical ultra addict, glued to her phone all day. Interestingly, not a single sign of withdrawal when offline. She was fine, happy, fully engaged in the real world activities, and not a single complaint.

But then, wherever we would return to a place with a gateway to the online world, all hope was lost again. We don't exist. The country does not exist. Dinner is a distraction. Nothing exists but the phone.

Of course I wondered what was it that she missed, that takes hours to catch up with? Actually, I didn't have to wonder as she explained it by pushing her phone in my face about 30 times per hour.

To show what? A meme. A funny video. Not even good ones, just pure low effort pulp garbage.

My friend is an entrepreneur, running some e-commerce warehouses. He stopped hiring young people. They take 30 minute dumps, 3 times a day. He's made clear policies regarding excessive smartphone usage and still finds them hiding behind shelves on their phones.

It's an epidemic.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#32
There's a reason Merlin is so grumpy in so many portrayals of the character.

Imagine that you are compelled to solve problems, and that you loathe interacting with other human beings, and that you occasionally are lonely. That's why we have hermits, and that's why towns put up their hermits in a house about a mile away. You put them far enough away that they can't hear you enjoying yourself, but close enough so that you can bring them serious problems

Which problems are serious? The ones that give everyone else nightmares trying to even think about — or at least are worth a 2 mile round trip walk and a picnic basket full of delicious food.

Even grumpy old hermits get lonely for human company and variety in food sometimes. They just resent showing it because everyone will make a loud racket and give them hugs and eugh it's just the worst.

Social media, the Internet, BBSes, these all allow satisfying the instinct for human connection without the awfulness of dealing with actual real people very much of the time. Finding a way to make that satisfying and net valuable to you and/or others is the hard work. It doesn't necessarily require giving it up, but it absolutely does require being honest with yourself about whether you're getting a payoff that's worth the price.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#33

As someone who quit social media a couple of years ago, I would say, yes, you should quit social media (regardless of whether that's the question). It is wonderful for one's mental health. It's true that you will lose a lot of connections, but you will manage to stay in touch with the people that matter.

I think its great that you did this and realized some benefit but isn't HN social media?

Adding to the other commenters, I find hacker news similar in form to Reddit. Anonymous-ish aggregators without personal relationships. But it can still be toxic like social media. I didn’t quit social media because I was seeing my friends do cool things. I quit it because it was addictive and because it is stressful to read too many comments and opinions about politics. Those toxic aspects are also present in Reddit and HN, even if they aren’t social media sites per se. HN is a bit better because it’s not deliberately addictive like others, but it’s still extremely easy for HN to be one of the feeds you scroll through addictively in your free time.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#35
post #24

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

Similar to sibling comment, but from a slightly older perspective as I approach 40. It seems that people in my circles just don’t use anything any more, at least that I can see. Most who aren’t really techy or political have abandoned or never adopted Twitter. Facebook gets a few photos of first days of school and vacation. Instagram gets the same but more of it, and occasional food pics. But it seems that most actua…

This is my experience as well, with the difference that almost all my friends are techie. Most have eschewed social media from the start, for the same reason why some airline mechanics don't fly - they know too much about what can go wrong.

We use Signal and text messaging almost exclusively.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#36
post #24

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

Similar to sibling comment, but from a slightly older perspective as I approach 40. It seems that people in my circles just don’t use anything any more, at least that I can see. Most who aren’t really techy or political have abandoned or never adopted Twitter. Facebook gets a few photos of first days of school and vacation. Instagram gets the same but more of it, and occasional food pics. But it seems that most actua…

> Whatever the cause, my Internet experience used to be so much about connecting and communicating with people

Maybe as we get older, we realize that whatever it was we were doing on social media, it wasn't actually connecting with people. Whatever these companies' mission statements say about "building community" and "bringing the world closer together" and "connecting people," it's not actually what their products are doing, and people are finally wising up and realizing this.

I haven't been on social media for probably a decade. I'm no less "connected" to my family or community or events than someone who is on it. It's not really doing what they claim it's doing.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#38
post #12

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

I really don't think this is true anymore at least in my generation. I'm in my late 20s and my family and friends really don't seem to post much content anymore on social media after graduating college. It's pretty much for consumption of memes and other internet content and could be cut out easily since its a time sink, vs years ago when people were much more active and no one ever followed commercial accounts or pe…

I see a lot of these sentiments that "nobody posts much any more" - is it true that they actually don't post much, or is it just that most people are now aware of online privacy and the long-term risks of public posting? Maybe everyone's posting a heap to their inner circle but nothing publicly?

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#39
post #31

I think one effect not often mentioned is the particular pairing of social media with smartphones, where the smartphone is the key agent of change, not social media. In the very early stages of social media, say the era of blogs, MySpace, and forums like these, there were no smartphones. People would live their normal lives during the day, and perhaps reserve an hour or so of "computer time". Where they physically si…

Great point! Would social media be the massive societal ill that it is without smartphones and wireless Internet everywhere? Without it being in people's pockets all day beeping and buzzing notifications at them, constantly trying to engage them? If we had to carve out a few hours at night for "computer time" like we used to, would it be so toxic?

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#40
post #24

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

Similar to sibling comment, but from a slightly older perspective as I approach 40. It seems that people in my circles just don’t use anything any more, at least that I can see. Most who aren’t really techy or political have abandoned or never adopted Twitter. Facebook gets a few photos of first days of school and vacation. Instagram gets the same but more of it, and occasional food pics. But it seems that most actua…

yeh most of my friends or at least people i am interested in following don't post much compared to several years ago. those who do are usually techies or people in sales trying to push their agendas
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