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Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

mehretbiruk.com

21–30 of 67 posts

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#21

You dont quit an addiction, you replace it with something else. But social media is different. It's a reality show in which you re the unpaid actor, a replaceable lab rat. If you feel that, living your whole life oblivious under a painted dome (like in the Truman Show) by getting rewarded with likes is an OK life, then maybe you should grow up. In the end, Truman chose to get out.

We replaced TV with social media. I still believe this was progress.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#22
post #12

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

I really don't think this is true anymore at least in my generation. I'm in my late 20s and my family and friends really don't seem to post much content anymore on social media after graduating college. It's pretty much for consumption of memes and other internet content and could be cut out easily since its a time sink, vs years ago when people were much more active and no one ever followed commercial accounts or pe…

I would say this is largely true for myself and my peers, but to older relatives Facebook is conflated with real life and actually keeping in touch.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#23
post #12

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

I really don't think this is true anymore at least in my generation. I'm in my late 20s and my family and friends really don't seem to post much content anymore on social media after graduating college. It's pretty much for consumption of memes and other internet content and could be cut out easily since its a time sink, vs years ago when people were much more active and no one ever followed commercial accounts or pe…

I'm also in my late 20's, and my core friend group still coordinates via Messenger and FB Events. Much easier to send a mass invite, including people you aren't too close to, when IRL meetups finally do occur. Not to mention the event reminders, and timeline cards that say x is attending y this Saturday for the network effect to do its thing.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#24

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

Similar to sibling comment, but from a slightly older perspective as I approach 40.

It seems that people in my circles just don’t use anything any more, at least that I can see. Most who aren’t really techy or political have abandoned or never adopted Twitter. Facebook gets a few photos of first days of school and vacation. Instagram gets the same but more of it, and occasional food pics.

But it seems that most actual communications isn’t public anymore. It’s all silo’d off into various instant message groups, mostly just over text message. Perhaps it’s just aging out, and not sharing as much or people feeling like their life experiences aren’t worth sharing to broader audiences. Whatever the cause, my Internet experience used to be so much about connecting and communicating with people (almost all of which I knew in person), and these days it’s just a much quieter place.

Though I’ll admit that could just be middle age bias. A lot of priorities change for a lot of people and your 30s can be a slog with the combination of young kids and aging parents.

I know my grandparents used to send a Christmas letter to all their friends and family updating everyone on their life for the previous year, births and deaths, victories and defeats, interesting travels, etc. I’d love to see similar things from the people who I still very much care about even if I don’t get to see them in person much these days.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#26
post #12

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

I really don't think this is true anymore at least in my generation. I'm in my late 20s and my family and friends really don't seem to post much content anymore on social media after graduating college. It's pretty much for consumption of memes and other internet content and could be cut out easily since its a time sink, vs years ago when people were much more active and no one ever followed commercial accounts or pe…

I agree… in my life iMessage and text threads replaced social media. Facebook is something I check out once in awhile, I only reactivated recently to share some pictures from a wedding and to share some news of a loved one’s death.

Otherwise it sucks. You can’t discuss anything without some rando friend of friends friend butting in with some sort of nonsense. It’s like going to the middle school dance… everyone lurks except for a minority who like to disrupt or like attention.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wouldn't consider HN social media, but instead a news aggregator with a robust comment section. These things existed long before the emergence of social-media networks. Who am I? Who are you? We don't know. There are no friends, connections, or personal details shared. Interactions are fleeting and temporary.

And..having friends on here would be somehow bad?.. I like Clay Shirky's definition of social media, (something like) a website where the users create the content, where the thing wouldn't exist in the same way without the users. But the definition of the word doesn't really matter, I guess. I'm just not sure why not having friends here makes it "ok", and why if you made friends here you'd have to quit because of you…

HN is topical, you’re sharing an interest in a public forum that is mostly civil. You might notice my name and recall to avoid or pay attention to.

A “friend” is different, because it creates and incentive for the platform to do something about that graph connection. I don’t HN cares at all whether we’ve ever been associated with each other.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#28
post #24

I appreciate this essay and I think your observation is true, broadly speaking. However one thing I find consistently lacking from the “digital minimalism” space is recognition of the things that social media has eliminated or made harder. The pandemic has compounded this problem. It’s not just that using social media for relationships is individually easier—it’s that the network effects eventually make it so that so…

Similar to sibling comment, but from a slightly older perspective as I approach 40. It seems that people in my circles just don’t use anything any more, at least that I can see. Most who aren’t really techy or political have abandoned or never adopted Twitter. Facebook gets a few photos of first days of school and vacation. Instagram gets the same but more of it, and occasional food pics. But it seems that most actua…

Yes, I saw growing older (33 here) that everyone is stopping these because we dont have time :D

As for your grandparents things, dont worry, when you ll worry abt being irrelevant, you'll send the postcards too :)

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#29
post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wouldn't consider HN social media, but instead a news aggregator with a robust comment section. These things existed long before the emergence of social-media networks. Who am I? Who are you? We don't know. There are no friends, connections, or personal details shared. Interactions are fleeting and temporary.

Reading and writing HN comments can suck as much time as social media. I'd say if it sucks too much time for your taste, quit. If it doesn't, good for you.

Time spent is not the only consideration. Consider how the app is affecting one's psychology. Consider how addictive patterns and the so-called attention economy are changing people's attention spans, patterns of behavior, and thinking.

Re: Should you delete social media? That’s the wrong question.

#30

As someone who quit social media a couple of years ago, I would say, yes, you should quit social media (regardless of whether that's the question). It is wonderful for one's mental health. It's true that you will lose a lot of connections, but you will manage to stay in touch with the people that matter.

I think its great that you did this and realized some benefit but isn't HN social media?

In my experience, Hacker News lacks cults of personality, even small ones like in a friend circle. When I read the comments, I never read the username or timestamp, or votes, because it all looks like boring meta data. Even the back and forth comments can be read on their merit without noticing who's talking. In total, there's hardly any social pressure.
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