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The art of not taking things personally

medium.dave-bailey.com

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Re: The art of not taking things personally

#2

Post by silicon2401 »

I think the world would be better if more people practiced the suggestions in this page. Many humans lack compassion. People on all sides of all issues behave due to similar fundamental reasons: fear, uncertainty, anxiety. If people looked past the superficial and helped comfort people who are unlike them in addition to those who are similar, we might be able to find solutions to more issues.

Re: The art of not taking things personally

#3

Post by zwkrt »

As I get older, the less I identify as my current state and the more I identify with the person who transitions through states. My change in perspective has reduced my anxieties and anger significantly. "This too shall pass" and all that. The more of my self image is focused on superficial things, the more I will take things personally. What we are angry about tends to be a reflection of ourselves more than the current state of affairs.

If I see myself as a busy professional I might be much more aggravated by someone at the grocery store holding up the checkout line with EBT (since I am busy they must be lazy!). If I see myself as a social climber I will always be worrying if people are using me for something (since I am using them!). If I identify with my wealth I might develop some neurosis regarding the sight of the homeless (since they represent ultimate failure!).

I don't believe in reincarnation but it is a helpful thought experiment to think about what benefits and drawbacks your particular incarnation of life holds and how those might be different if you were incarnated elsewhere.

Re: The art of not taking things personally

#4

Post by throwaway98797 »

Fragility comes from insecurity.

Insecurity is both objective and subjective.

On different days you may feel more or less secure.

To not care too much about yourself is the first step. The world is what it is and our desires are just that. Desires. Easy to forget that the world owes or cares. It does not. Luckily it does not care about anyone else.

We only have this life to live.

“We have two lives, and the second begins when we realize we only have one.” —Confucius

Re: The art of not taking things personally

#5

Post by psychomugs »

throwaway98797 wrote: post #4

Fragility comes from insecurity. Insecurity is both objective and subjective. On different days you may feel more or less secure. To not care too much about yourself is the first step. The world is what it is and our desires are just that. Desires. Easy to forget that the world owes or cares. It does not. Luckily it does not care about anyone else. We only have this life to live. “We have two lives, and the second be…

"Live as if you were living already for the second time and as if you had acted the first time as wrongly as you are about to act now" - Victor Frankl

Re: The art of not taking things personally

#9

Post by mcguire »

zwkrt wrote: post #3

As I get older, the less I identify as my current state and the more I identify with the person who transitions through states. My change in perspective has reduced my anxieties and anger significantly. "This too shall pass" and all that. The more of my self image is focused on superficial things, the more I will take things personally. What we are angry about tends to be a reflection of ourselves more than the curre…

That's interesting and well-put!

I've thought for a long time that the world is, in a sense, a mirror: what you see out there is a reflection of yourself. A social climber worrying about being used is a part of that I hadn't considered before.

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