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My dead dad’s journal

seanblanda.com

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Re: My dead dad’s journal

#71

Post by jacquesm »

noduerme wrote: post #47

This really moved me. My dad went through brain surgery last year and his four sons converged from around the country. We all barely speak to each other. A holographic will was produced, ten loose leaf pages in impossible handwriting, the last few pages written by him right before he went into surgery while his fourth wife held the pad and guided his hand with a pen. I wish we had conducted ourselves with grace, but…

What a sad story. You could take it as a shadow of what's to come if this isn't dealt with now though, so in a way something good may come of it.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#72

Post by [deleted] »

prismatix wrote: post #56

Thank you for sharing. I read this a while back and it still hits me just as hard. My brother passed away nearly 6 years ago and left under similar circumstances to the author's father. He also left a tattered, and similarly-chaotic journal. I was really torn about reading it at first, but he was the type of person who wanted to go ahead of the pack and clear the path for others. His journal was the last way for him…

[deleted]

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#73

Post by MrDresden »

My father was also an addict, and passed away some 11 years ago.

I have fond memories with him, but never felt I knew him well.

It is because of this I have kept a journal for the last decade, for my loved ones in case I would pass unexpectedly.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#74

Post by pelasaco »

I had a similar experience with my mom who I didn't had too much contact last years. I moved to another country and we talked less frequently that we should. She was an active writer, mostly on facebook and blog (she was blogging consistently since 2001). Now those are the media that I'm using to keep my mom image alive to my kids. She passed on January. I sent her a package for Christmas with some pictures and texts produced by me and my kids. The package came back, probably because it arrived after she was already dead. Now the package is seating near my computer untouched since weeks.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#75

Post by sylens »

I've tried starting to journal a few times using an app like Day One, but reading this makes me feel a physical, handwritten journal that could be left behind for family may ultimately be a better option

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#76

Post by bspammer »

jl6 wrote: post #61

To all those who keep a long-term journal: what’s your end-game? Trash it? Publish it? Actively gift it to your family? Passively let the family read it if they find it? If it’s an electronic journal, what steps are you taking to ensure or prevent access after you’re gone?

There is no end-game for me. I just do it because I enjoy it.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#77

Post by bspammer »

wsc981 wrote: post #41
johnwheeler wrote: post #30

Especially powerful for me was > My dad didn’t have a tidy ending. I won’t. And neither will you. Our lives will not be a slow positive upward slope before we die in our sleep surrounded by our loved ones.

Not exactly the same, but that quote reminded me of quote from the Donnie Darko movie: “everyone dies alone” [0]. I believe this is very much true. —— [0]: https://youtu.be/8j1IMBM-QyE

My granddad died surrounded by his loved ones, pretty peacefully really (he was jacked up on morphine). I know you mean alone in a kind of existential way, but at the end of the day I've learned that if you have that depressing outlook on things, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy of misery.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#78

Post by germinalphrase »

dnissley wrote: post #54
germinalphrase wrote: post #49

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I recently listened to a journalist discuss her work on corruption. She made this point: the prevalence of corruption rises in cultures that view monetary wealth as the only or primary mark of social status. She called it the Midas Disease as this pursuit is - at a certain point - meaningless (is another hundred million dollars when you already have 100 billion?), and yet - the effects of this pursuit have significan…

I thought it was well known that corruption is a bigger problem in developing nations which are likely to be considerably less capitalistic than first world nations?

There’s nothing in what I said about developed vs developing nations. The dynamic is the same regardless.

Re: My dead dad’s journal

#79

Post by magpi3 »

I have been a writing teacher, and sometimes the question comes out: why write?

This is why you write. Not to be famous, not to be published. But so that you can leave something for the ones who loved you. So that you do not just become a fading memory. So that people knew you where here.

None of my ancestors (including my Dad) kept a journal, at least one that I can get my hands on. So I know absolutely nothing about them. And that feels like a huge, huge loss.

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