I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family • Hacker News Board

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#211

Post by throwaway_pinoy » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 6:58 PM UTC

csa wrote: post #171

shellfishgene wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reminds me of the Filipino maid friends living in the middle east had working for them. The pay included airfare for going home for a few weeks once a year, but somehow she always declined and rather wanted to go on holiday with her employers (and the kids, so not really a holiday for her). After 3 years they finally found out she actually really wanted to go home and see friends and family again. However she was so…

I’ve heard lots of stories like this from folks who married into Filipino families. The general idea I get is that the money of the extended family is considered accessible (at least to some extent) by the entire pool. This seems especially true for medical expenses, but also seems true for “investments”. The boundaries seem really unhealthy to me, but I’m not part of that culture, so I don’t know how it really works…

A significant chunk of the Philippine economy is fueled by remittances from overseas workers (in absolute amount, it's comparable to Mexico and behind only India and China). So it is pretty common for people to "share".

On the other hand, there are people like my father, who worked until he died because he didn't want to rely on his kids for support. He even got mad at me when I got his bank account number from my mom, and did a test wire transfer of $1000.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#212

Post by tim333 » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:00 PM UTC

silicon2401 wrote: post #112

> ‘I have not donated money to anyone or any organization. I also do not believe in loaning money to friends and relatives, no matter what’ Smart man. He did the right thing and I would gladly do the same in exchange for that kind of money any day of the week. Ironically, the idealists who don't understand the risks of letting people know how much money you have are also the ones who will suffer the most when they he…

Donating is ok but I'd kind of recommend being anonymous or they'll bug you for more for ever after.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#213

Post by hinkley » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:01 PM UTC

MattGaiser wrote: post #45

ghaff wrote: post #19

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It probably depends where you are in life, how much money, your relationship to family, how comfortable they are, etc. Certainly seemed like the right call in this case. On the other hand, if your family is comfortable, this happens to you when you're 35 and want to retire and travel the world at least for a while, it's probably hard to deny that you had some sort of real financial windfall.

Say you became a consultant.

What am I consulting on? My girlfriend wanted to know what the best crème brûlée is in Paris. It took weeks of research and user studies.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#214

Post by philwelch » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:02 PM UTC

yupper32 wrote: post #94

philwelch wrote: post #2

Classic Reddit thread: https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_... > Congratulations! You just won millions of dollars in the lottery! That's great. > Now you're fucked. > No really. > You are. > You're fucked. This guy did exactly the right thing.

That thread is really dumb. You can't just throw stuff out there like "You're 20x more likely to die of homicide!" and expect to be taken seriously. 1. The demographic that is likely to win lotteries might already be more likely to die of homicide (or become bankrupt, etc) than the general population. 2. Throwing large multiples out sounds flashy, but it doesn't mean much if the probability was already extremely low.…

> You're not fucked if you win the lottery... The amount you can afford with 100 million is incredible. Buy a huge lot and hire security. Hire great attorneys and financial firms to handle details. Don't spend more than you expect to make in interest yearly.

If you bothered actually reading the thread, that's what it says to do.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#215

Post by tim333 » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:02 PM UTC

brokeAF wrote: post #172

I made 25m with crypto over the last 10 years. Never told anyone, not my friends, not my gf, not my family. Half a year ago I quit my job and now everyone thinks I am unemployed. How to stop my friends sending me job offers for full-time php developement?

Say you punt crypto but imply you've only made a few $10k.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#216

Post by philwelch » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:04 PM UTC

adventured wrote: post #152

yupper32 wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That thread is really dumb. You can't just throw stuff out there like "You're 20x more likely to die of homicide!" and expect to be taken seriously. 1. The demographic that is likely to win lotteries might already be more likely to die of homicide (or become bankrupt, etc) than the general population. 2. Throwing large multiples out sounds flashy, but it doesn't mean much if the probability was already extremely low.…

> You're not fucked if you win the lottery... The amount you can afford with 100 million is incredible. Buy a huge lot and hire security. You're correct about not being fucked. It's dramatically easier than that though. Just go melt into New York City, where there are many thousands of people in that general wealth category. The US has ~180,000 people with $30 million or more in wealth. 180,000! You can trivially van…

But I don't want to live in New York City. If I was forced to live in New York City, in terms of my personal life preferences and choices, I would characterize that as "fucked".

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#217

Post by hinkley » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:08 PM UTC

zozbot234 wrote: post #85

jkereako wrote: post #26

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I’ve wondered about this: when someone comes into a windfall and their loved ones see them differently, are they really different or is the person seeing them exactly as they are?

Most people don't even understand the notion of a random windfall, financially. It's something you should just put in the bank and literally forget about, unless you have high-interest debt to pay off or the like. Drawing down on a windfall should be a very serious decision, not something done casually. That money you're spending on pure consumption is not coming back, ever, so only use it for experiences and endeavo…

We didn’t have a lot when I was a kid so I didn’t understand this when I was suddenly making more than my dad. We ran up huge debts and it took a couple years of hard work and heavy discipline to pay it all off, then a couple more to be anywhere where we thought the money should make us feel like.

Those images of rock stars and athletes are fundamentally exploitative. The odds you will continue to make that kind of money going forward are tiny. The odds that you can re-make that kind of money without having to compromise your ideals are virtually nonexistent. Anyone who encourages you to spend it is not your friend.

You were lucky enough to get it the first time, if you blow it there might not be a next time. And I think in many cases the people who struggle their whole lives never learned that, which why they are down instead of OK. Get a little money it goes to steak or AC or a pool, or something else with additional lifetime costs. It would never go into preventative maintenance that actually saves you money later on.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#218

Post by bityard » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:14 PM UTC

tw600040 wrote: post #121

TheMerovingian wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

This is very cynical. If you can't even tell your family how much you make what's the point in having a family? What is a family for in your opinion then?

Maybe you feel you can trust everyone in your family, but this is far from universal. Many, _many_ people have family members who are self-entitled moochers who think that everything bad that has happened to them was because of other people instead of a lifetime of own poor choices. When they find out that someone close to them has come into some money, they feel (and act) like they "deserve" some of it and will try all manner of tactics to get at it, including pity and made-up stories, all the way up to blackmail, threats, and physical violence. In a word: toxic. Sometimes it's just one family member, sometimes it's the whole family.

If you have none in your family, consider yourself extremely blessed. Most of us are not so lucky.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#219

Post by jiux » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:15 PM UTC

csa wrote: post #171

shellfishgene wrote: post #132

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Reminds me of the Filipino maid friends living in the middle east had working for them. The pay included airfare for going home for a few weeks once a year, but somehow she always declined and rather wanted to go on holiday with her employers (and the kids, so not really a holiday for her). After 3 years they finally found out she actually really wanted to go home and see friends and family again. However she was so…

I’ve heard lots of stories like this from folks who married into Filipino families. The general idea I get is that the money of the extended family is considered accessible (at least to some extent) by the entire pool. This seems especially true for medical expenses, but also seems true for “investments”. The boundaries seem really unhealthy to me, but I’m not part of that culture, so I don’t know how it really works…

You pretty much dotted the i’s and crossed the T’s on this one.

The general idea is too complex for me to give a solid, single piece of advice on how to identify genuine vs not, but what I can tell you is this:

I recently became aware of a very real death of a close Philippine friend’s grandmother and I knew their family couldn’t afford a proper burial. So I requested to talk to the eldest of the family, offered to cover cost (less than the price of a new iPad) with their approval to do so, and for my name to not be included in the justification.

For context - I’ve personally been to the Philippines a few times and seen some of the ups and downs (white American since birth). Never sent that friend or their family anything before nor felt compelled to do this. I’m grateful for what I have in life and for those who have done good toward me, so simply paying it forward.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#220

Post by hinkley » Fri, Aug 20, 2021, 7:19 PM UTC

alecst wrote: post #165

barnesto wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

What Dave does with his money is none of your concern. But since he put it out in the public, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. You see, that's the point of not telling anyone. Everyone has an opinion and once they know a little something about anything they want to share it. Most of those opinions are how to separate Dave from his money. Nobody needs that in their lives. Not Dave. Not anyone. He was right…

Our anonymous Dave has a tremendous excess of wealth that far exceeds his needs and his ability or desire to spend it. He asked "Was I wrong in not telling anyone about my winnings?" My response was to that. Maybe sharing it, rather than concealing it, might actually make his life a little better (there is a soft joy in giving), and bring him closer to the needs of people around him. I don't see why you think I cross…

What if Dave gets aggressive ALS and there is stem cell research that looks promising, but basically he has to help fund research? Does Dave need that now? Can he ask for it back?

I worked with people who tried to retire early but got embezzled. They knew someone whose wife got diagnosed with cancer months after retirement and that money just went poof. You can’t see the future, you don’t know.

What you know is that people overplan for emergencies and miss out on positive experiences because if it. These are not the same thing.