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I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

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Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#161

Post by amanaplanacanal »

dvt wrote: post #90
TheMerovingian wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

> Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either. Your advice is cynical and unhelpful. I have a healthy relationship with my family where talking about wealth, money, and unexpected windfalls is not a problem. Or, conversely, talking about death, disease, unemployment, or breakups. Of course, a healthy non-toxic relationship needs years of hard work and maintenance. The kind of work most people don'…

No matter how much work you put in, you can’t choose your parents. Or your in-laws.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#162

Post by donretag »

shellfishgene wrote: post #132
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

Reminds me of the Filipino maid friends living in the middle east had working for them. The pay included airfare for going home for a few weeks once a year, but somehow she always declined and rather wanted to go on holiday with her employers (and the kids, so not really a holiday for her). After 3 years they finally found out she actually really wanted to go home and see friends and family again. However she was so…

I have a friend from Croatia that lives in NYC. Does not earn much, especially by NYC standards. He loathes returning to Croatia because everyone thinks since he lives in the USA, he must make a lot of money.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#163

Post by jnwatson »

robotresearcher wrote: post #125
jnwatson wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bioethicist/philosopher Peter Singer disagrees. "if you are living comfortably while others are hungry or dying from easily preventable diseases, and you are doing nothing about it, there is something wrong with your behavior." [1] I'm inclined to agree with him. This is my current moral quandry, since my income is about to dramatically increase. I'm looking for a new car. I can pay in cash. I could pay $90K for a Po…

This is an age-old concern, and there's a traditional approach: tithing. Automatically donate 10% of your after-tax income to a charity you believe in. Then stop thinking about it except in special emergencies. Tune the percentage as you wish, but make that decision once (or infrequently) and keep it out of your daily anxieties.

10% seems appropriate for those of limited means. I'm not sure it applies to those of us more fortunate.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#164

Post by jnwatson »

ahtihn wrote: post #157
jnwatson wrote: post #33

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Bioethicist/philosopher Peter Singer disagrees. "if you are living comfortably while others are hungry or dying from easily preventable diseases, and you are doing nothing about it, there is something wrong with your behavior." [1] I'm inclined to agree with him. This is my current moral quandry, since my income is about to dramatically increase. I'm looking for a new car. I can pay in cash. I could pay $90K for a Po…

Unknown people in far away countries don't matter at all. Might as well put the money on fire, the outcome would be about the same. There's probably enough people in your local community that need help of some sort where you could make an actual difference.

"Unknown people in far away countries don't matter at all."

Citation needed.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#165

Post by alecst »

barnesto wrote: post #131
alecst wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's such a low bar to pass. The guy in the article is 67, makes 1MM+ in interest a year, and won't even consider telling his friends or family? Or donating a penny of it? Is there not room for a middle ground here? What about: "Hey, I made a million bucks in the lottery/stocks/crypto. I heard you're having a tough time, take this -- you don't owe me anything. Wishing you well, -Dave."

What Dave does with his money is none of your concern. But since he put it out in the public, you are certainly entitled to your opinion. You see, that's the point of not telling anyone. Everyone has an opinion and once they know a little something about anything they want to share it. Most of those opinions are how to separate Dave from his money. Nobody needs that in their lives. Not Dave. Not anyone. He was right…

Our anonymous Dave has a tremendous excess of wealth that far exceeds his needs and his ability or desire to spend it. He asked "Was I wrong in not telling anyone about my winnings?"

My response was to that. Maybe sharing it, rather than concealing it, might actually make his life a little better (there is a soft joy in giving), and bring him closer to the needs of people around him.

I don't see why you think I crossed a line by giving my opinion. The man is asking for opinions!

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#166

Post by ghaff »

WalterBright wrote: post #139
zsmi wrote: post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The super wealthy keep their money tied up in lots of things, including real estate. It's called diversity and investing in lots of things is significantly easier when you're... super wealthy.

If you invest in an S&P 500 index fund, you're diversified into 500 companies. Very easy to do.

The S&P 500 is certainly more diversified than individual stocks. But it's still only the largest US companies. By itself, it's only a somewhat diversified portfolio.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#167

Post by N00bN00b »

throw123123123 wrote: post #100
shocks wrote: post #24

Earlier quoted context omitted.

“Hi Dave, Thanks for reaching out. You’re right that we were struggling and this generous gift really helped ease our minds. Anyway, Auntie Venessa has come down with lung cancer and we’re finding it difficult to…” etc

"I never really liked Auntie Venessa"

Most humans suck at sorting out the cognitive dissonance between "I am a good guy" and "I let auntie Vanessa die".

Doesn't mean your approach isn't right. A lot of people just can't do that properly and it can cause stress and depression, so for them it's probably easier to just avoid having to think about it.

Humans aren't really the most sophisticated when it comes to situations like this. Almost like we weren't supposed to have 10,000x times more resources at our disposal compared to the person standing next to us.

But let's just ignore that and continue our game of monopoly. Maybe this time it'll end differently. I'm sitting next to the bank though, so the outcome is pretty much certain for me.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#168

Post by allsmjio »

throwaway0a5e wrote: post #136
yupper32 wrote: post #94

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That thread is really dumb. You can't just throw stuff out there like "You're 20x more likely to die of homicide!" and expect to be taken seriously. 1. The demographic that is likely to win lotteries might already be more likely to die of homicide (or become bankrupt, etc) than the general population. 2. Throwing large multiples out sounds flashy, but it doesn't mean much if the probability was already extremely low.…

That thread isn't particularly dumb. It's a completely normal level of dumbness for a reddit thread. You just happened to be able to smell the bullshit because you approached the topic in question with a critical eye.

They’re just nitpicking the unimportant bits while unwittingly(?) agreeing with the important bits (and adding some silliness of his own). But somehow that sort of smug contrarianism attracts this sort of self-congratulatory back rub about how “we” on hackernews are so much more enlightened than the blue forum’s masses…thus fulfilling the “normal level of dumbness” for an Orange Subreddit thread.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#169

Post by TeMPOraL »

derekp7 wrote: post #54
pclmulqdq wrote: post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Psychologically, the middle ground turns out to be an unstable equilibrium. You can give them some money, but then they come back for more. If you say no, your family may find itself breaking apart unless you give up everything you got in the lottery

In that Reddit thread (assuming it is the one I'm thinking of) it seems there is also a high likelihood you get sued for giving people money because you didn't give them enough (under the same line of thought that if you regularly feed wild birds they will become dependent on your bird feeder and starve if you quit [don't know how true that is, but that is a common "wisdom"]). You also get harassed by local police, i…

> it seems there is also a high likelihood you get sued for giving people money because you didn't give them enough

Yup. Families can be like that.

Some distant relatives of mine, whom I never met, have been suing each other over some inheritance for what must be a good ~20 years now. I know because we're still getting an occasional mail from court calling my dad (who died many years ago) to stand witness in that case.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#170

Post by robotresearcher »

jnwatson wrote: post #163
robotresearcher wrote: post #125

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is an age-old concern, and there's a traditional approach: tithing. Automatically donate 10% of your after-tax income to a charity you believe in. Then stop thinking about it except in special emergencies. Tune the percentage as you wish, but make that decision once (or infrequently) and keep it out of your daily anxieties.

10% seems appropriate for those of limited means. I'm not sure it applies to those of us more fortunate.

Sure. But 10% is what 'tithe' means. Tweak to suit.
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