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I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

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Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#101

Post by [deleted] »

alecst wrote: post #14
philwelch wrote: post #2

Classic Reddit thread: https://old.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/24vzgl/you_just_... > Congratulations! You just won millions of dollars in the lottery! That's great. > Now you're fucked. > No really. > You are. > You're fucked. This guy did exactly the right thing.

It's such a low bar to pass. The guy in the article is 67, makes 1MM+ in interest a year, and won't even consider telling his friends or family? Or donating a penny of it? Is there not room for a middle ground here? What about: "Hey, I made a million bucks in the lottery/stocks/crypto. I heard you're having a tough time, take this -- you don't owe me anything. Wishing you well, -Dave."

[deleted]

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#102

Post by stagger87 »

AnIdiotOnTheNet wrote: post #62
alecst wrote: post #14

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's such a low bar to pass. The guy in the article is 67, makes 1MM+ in interest a year, and won't even consider telling his friends or family? Or donating a penny of it? Is there not room for a middle ground here? What about: "Hey, I made a million bucks in the lottery/stocks/crypto. I heard you're having a tough time, take this -- you don't owe me anything. Wishing you well, -Dave."

No no, see, once you actually have money you stop caring about other people and just want to protect what you have. "Got mine, fuck you" and all that. At least, that's how it seems from all the advice that gets thrown around about people who suddenly come in to wealth. Weirdly no one gives advice related to the documented ways that people tend to change when they suddenly have much more money than the people around t…

> the documented ways that people tend to change when they suddenly have much more money than the people around them

Please share said documents. (Genuinely)

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#103

Post by dragosmocrii »

TheMerovingian wrote: post #67
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

people are fast to judge based on what they see on the surface, most are superficial, very few have an interest in diving into the details. too bad when family is in the first category. hope you're doing alright

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#104

Post by ohazi »

dvt wrote: post #90
TheMerovingian wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

> Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either. Your advice is cynical and unhelpful. I have a healthy relationship with my family where talking about wealth, money, and unexpected windfalls is not a problem. Or, conversely, talking about death, disease, unemployment, or breakups. Of course, a healthy non-toxic relationship needs years of hard work and maintenance. The kind of work most people don'…

> Of course, a healthy non-toxic relationship needs years of hard work and maintenance.

By all parties involved.

You only have control over what you put in, but if the other side isn't interested in playing by the same rules there's often nothing you can do.

I also have a good relationship with my family, but I didn't realize how good I had it until I went to college and met students who were on bad terms with their families, weren't on speaking terms, or were completely estranged. It shocked me at the time, but this is the reality for a lot of people.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#106

Post by zozbot234 »

technothrasher wrote: post #39
42069 wrote: post #5

I made ~50 million in crypto. By far the most satisfying part was buying a house each for my friends and family. Having a paid off house is really a massive stress reducer for most people which imho gives you the 90% of the financial freedom of being super wealthy.

At my current ~2% mortgage interest rate, why do I want to pay off my house? I make more putting that money into investments returning me much better than that. I don't think the super wealthy keep their money needlessly tied up in real estate like that.

Those investments and returns are not risk free. You just can't equate getting out of an obligation, like a mortgage, with returns on a risky investment that you aren't otherwise involved in.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#107

Post by baron816 »

One thing I learned from reading The WEIRDest People in the World by Joseph Heinrich is that saving (delayed gratification) can be detrimental to a lot of people in various societies around the world.

Part of it is that if you have money, then it will make you a target for thieves or corruption. But also, family members will ask you to borrow money if they know you have some. And if no one has any saved money, whenever they have an emergency, they’ll go beg the lone person who might have some. So, you’re better off just spending any money you get right away so that you don’t have to give it over to a family member.

Clearly, that equilibrium is hard to break out of, and pretty much requires kin based institutions to be broken down first (which is the thesis of the book for how the rich world got rich).

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#108

Post by emodendroket »

liquidise wrote: post #40

The friend/family perception is real and one thing, but really i think this silence creates yet more separation creating ever more loneliness. Ultimately, my fear for lottery winners is akin to discovering cheat codes in early video games. Turning on "Infinite Money" in $GAME was great... until it quickly sucked all of the joy out of the game. The limited resource challenge disappeared. I don't know anyone who has wo…

You could make the same argument about a steady food supply but I'm not going to start foraging exclusively.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#109

Post by DonHopkins »

throwaway58483 wrote: post #29

~$11 million from a whistleblower reward. Similar in some ways to winning the lottery, but there was no way to avoid some friends and family finding out. E.g. a friend and my dad helped edit my award claim submission. I moved to a new city, kept it private, eventually told a couple new friends. Some people treat you the same, some people treat you differently (in a bad way, like another commenter mentioned). So it's…

Wow, can you say who you blew the whistle on? And where I can find a whistle like that? ;)

Seems like being somebody who blew the whistle would act as a pretty good filtering mechanism too. You probably don't get many invitations to hang out and party with Matt Gaetz...

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#110

Post by edgyquant »

mbesto wrote: post #86
TheMerovingian wrote: post #67

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

> Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either. YMMV. I don't have any immediate family members who are at risk for monetary issues (luckily) and I have not had any issues with them knowing how much I earn. I'm also lucky that my family has been taught the value of a dollar since I was little. Not everyone has that advantage so I can definitely see why the default advice should be "don't tell them"…

Yeah I told my parents when I started making six figures and the only thing that changed was now my dad doesn’t pay for all my food when I’m visiting.
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