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I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

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Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#81

Post by Sebb767 »

asdfasgasdgasdg wrote: post #18

What is the point of writing a letter like this to a money advice column? His only question is, "Was I wrong in not telling anyone about my winnings?" Surely by 67 you should understand that wrong is the eye of the beholder. Only you can answer whether you did right or wrong, although I will say that sending a letter to an advice column is a signal that you are not completely satisfied with your decision. Honestly th…

> Surely by 67 you should understand that wrong is the eye of the beholder.

Knowing that and feeling that are two different things. Sometimes you just need to hear it from another person (and, quite often, you should - it's easy to get stuck in a wrong view). There's nothing wrong with asking.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#82

Post by asciimov »

Way to humble brag about your winnings there fella.

I'd want to know did he at least help his parents be more comfortable in their final years. Has he enjoyed the money at all; taken some trips or had some experiences that only money can buy you?

It's fine if he didn't, but what's the point if you aren't enjoying it to some extent.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#83

Post by ineedasername »

Hamuko wrote: post #69
MattGaiser wrote: post #45

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Say you became a consultant.

"I'm an outside consultant to beach resorts and other interesting places."

A professional reviewer for a travel guide so prestigious it isn't even published and only has a single customer.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#84

Post by vymague »

42069 wrote: post #5

I made ~50 million in crypto. By far the most satisfying part was buying a house each for my friends and family. Having a paid off house is really a massive stress reducer for most people which imho gives you the 90% of the financial freedom of being super wealthy.

It's just my overactive imagination. But how do you protect yourself? Like from robbers and other people with ill-intent.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#85

Post by zozbot234 »

jkereako wrote: post #26
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

I’ve wondered about this: when someone comes into a windfall and their loved ones see them differently, are they really different or is the person seeing them exactly as they are?

Most people don't even understand the notion of a random windfall, financially. It's something you should just put in the bank and literally forget about, unless you have high-interest debt to pay off or the like.

Drawing down on a windfall should be a very serious decision, not something done casually. That money you're spending on pure consumption is not coming back, ever, so only use it for experiences and endeavors that will meaningfully improve the life of yourself or whoever you care about.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#86

Post by mbesto »

TheMerovingian wrote: post #67
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

> Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either.

YMMV. I don't have any immediate family members who are at risk for monetary issues (luckily) and I have not had any issues with them knowing how much I earn. I'm also lucky that my family has been taught the value of a dollar since I was little. Not everyone has that advantage so I can definitely see why the default advice should be "don't tell them".

My dad's sisters and some cousins on the other hand...ya...they don't need to know.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#87

Post by silicon2401 »

jnwatson wrote: post #33
lotsofpulp wrote: post #6

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I would not consider not donating to be wrong, or donating to necessarily be right.

Bioethicist/philosopher Peter Singer disagrees. "if you are living comfortably while others are hungry or dying from easily preventable diseases, and you are doing nothing about it, there is something wrong with your behavior." [1] I'm inclined to agree with him. This is my current moral quandry, since my income is about to dramatically increase. I'm looking for a new car. I can pay in cash. I could pay $90K for a Po…

Funny how Peter Singer condemns comfort while living comfortably enough to have the time to write and publish a dozen books [1]. That time could've really helped a lot of people. Wonder what his thoughts on hypocrisy are.

For me, other people's problems aren't my problem. If I won a billion dollars I'd probably donate to things generously out of mild interest in trying to make the world more to my liking, but that's about it. Not my fault if others are suffering, nor is it my fault if I get lucky some day.

In my experience I've found that the more of a martyr someone tries to be, having a boat and trying to save others from drowning, the more they end up just being another body in the water, leaving the world worse off than if they had helped less.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Peter_Singer#Publications

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#88

Post by paradigm_ »

I made a good deal from long-term crypto holdings and never told anyone, and it was much easier that way. I would still help family; they just didn't know how easy it was for me to help them, and so didn't ask for more.

Startup exit happened and a wrench got thrown in it all, though. Many acquaintances from years ago would text me about having had a class with me and having seen the news. I told myself I'd reply after a few weeks but in the end never did.

The paranoia since has made me a substantially worse person, and taken away how easily I trust.

When it comes to dating, I alternate between "money is now the most stable part of my life, so who cares if people partially like me over it? I earned it after all!" and "it's not as meaningful, I want someone who likes me solely for my other traits, but I can't trust whether that's the case."

Do everything you can to keep your success private.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#89

Post by throwaway1981xx »

This week I have had two of my few friendships hit the rocks who have approached me for money.

One is pushing me to invest in his business, and one approached me for a reasonably large loan.

I've explained to both that I don't feel able to, but I can tell that both feel I am being unreasonable because it's only $XXk which they know isn't that significant to me.

I wish they hadn't have asked as it feels fatal for the friendships.

I already feel a bit of an outsider for sometimes having money.

Maybe all of these problems are in my own head.....

Either way, the lottery winner had the right idea.

Re: I won over $55M in the lottery, but didn’t tell my friends or family

#90

Post by dvt »

TheMerovingian wrote: post #67
thepasswordis wrote: post #9

Not that much, but I did make a ton of money in crypto. Similar thing: bought a house, also bought myself a nice car. I didn't tell any of my friends, but did mistakenly tell one of my parents, who then felt it necessary to share this information with the rest of my family. If you make a bunch of money: I would highly recommend not telling people. The will treat you differently (not in a good way).

I don't think you need to win the lottery to be in this situation. Imagine having a cushy job in a FAANG company, where your base salary is probably more than what your parents make combined. It is in my case. I made the mistake of telling them (roughly) what I earn and it definitely has changed the way they interact with me. I get remarks about my 'wealth' and that I can easily drop $10K on something frivolous. I ge…

> Word of advice: don't tell your family how much you make either.

Your advice is cynical and unhelpful.

I have a healthy relationship with my family where talking about wealth, money, and unexpected windfalls is not a problem. Or, conversely, talking about death, disease, unemployment, or breakups. Of course, a healthy non-toxic relationship needs years of hard work and maintenance.

The kind of work most people don't want to put in.

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