Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

Seems to me you moved to London to race rats and watch dogs eat dogs and that has been accomplished.

You have made respectable gains and come out ahead numerically/financially and there are certain winnings to be had staying in the race.

In the process you have become a financial professional based on your computer science ability.

Where naturally financial success is everything and upside is more important than in most alternative endeavors.

With a keen focus for upside potential, you have forged a lucrative path but this has taken you far from the mainstream where almost all other professions do not have nearly that kind of focus.

In co-operation with your partner you could maybe relax your focus a bit in a way determined to broaden your horizons at the same time.

Bring other pathways into your field of vision and just see how they look, those closest to where you are now will be the clearest but over time you may see great distances in completely new directions.

One thing to think about with pure financial operations is there is so much money there because it's wealth that has been previously created then accumulated over a period of time. In London I expect you are handling lots of wealth that was created long before anyone living was even born.

With a good nose for the upside, one close alternative application might be to migrate to a position where most or all of your energies are employed or available for creating new wealth in your own lifetime. People do love it. A slight change like that can even make for a whole new outlook.

In the long run you may not always be a financial professional anyway and there are so many other types of success. You don't have to keep it going forever, there are so many other professions if you choose, but looks like you will always be a computer scientist of high caliber.

So I see nothing but upside.

I'm interested in where the OP lives. As I live in NE UK, so probably as emotionally and culturally far away from London as possible.

There were def times that I thought I'd made an error career-wise however, that's not the whole meaning of life. And there are interesting jobs outside of London. OP would probably be very competetive skills-wise compared to locals.

What is it that you hate about the job? A lot of times, I find that hating your job is really a symptom of something deeper. I think this might be true for you because you also mentioned that you wouldn't be satisfied working for Google. You have a PhD, maybe you're yearning to return to a research oriented career in academia? I honestly recommend seeking therapy before quitting. It might highlight something deeper that might help guide you. Even if you do end up quitting, at least it will guide you towards the right path.

Also, remember that even having these types of thoughts means we are in a relative place of tremendous privilege where our basic needs are met and secured. Many in the world don't have that privilege. That's not meant to guilt you, but to help you put things in perspective. Usually when we are materially satisfied, we start to seek higher levels of meaning and since we spend so much of our waking time working, we try to seek satisfaction through work. But the world doesn't value our individual satisfaction.

Finally you seem to have some conflicting goals (or maybe not). If you want to retire early and stay with your partner, it might mean making the sacrifice of living in London and also working in a high paying job where you are disconnected from the value it brings to society. You can potentially speed up this process by working on building a high value company, but working in quant finance you should be able to assess risk-adjusted returns and determine if that path is feasible or makes sense in your individual circumstances.

Pay and meaning are often a tradeoff. Arguably the reason pay is so high for some jobs is that they have to pay that much to stop people from leaving. I took a pay cut before in life and it came with massive happiness increase. Maybe join a startup where you can get a good chunk of equity, and pick a team that you like being with.

Just take the easy street finance money and find other ways to entertain yourself. FAANG gotta work harder for less pay and the work isn’t any more interesting.