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Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

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Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#191

Post by RickJWagner »

Hi,

1) You're only 34, far too early to be thinking about retiring. It's ok to think about switching careers, though.

2) Quit blaming luck for your placement in the financial spectrum. Every generation has opportunities and pitfalls-- maybe yours just haven't shown themselves yet. (Maybe it's crypto? Maybe the next Amazon? Maybe just boring index funds? etc.) If you still feel sorry for yourself, just consider the people who came of age in 1915 or so. A world war, followed by a pandemic, followed by the great depression, followed by WWII!

3) If you truly hate your work, find something else. Maybe work a short while more, to pack away some money, but get out of it.

4) Consider strongly that your mental outlook might be influenced by Covid. Don't make a long-term change unless you have good reason to suspect you'd feel the same in the post-Covid world.

5) Good Luck to you. There's a bright future ahead for someone with your brains. You just have to make the right decisions to navigate towards it.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#192

Post by nickthemagicman »

soylentgraham wrote: post #159
nickthemagicman wrote: post #150

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Google people make 200k starting as Jr devs so I'm assuming 400k. Esp with PhD. Agreed not super clear what's going on.

Google juniors are more like £40k in london. Jobs over £100k are not the norm, even in finance in london. The awful london housing market (small market, people do NOT sell) starts around £320k for a terrible studio. Banks nowaways tend to loan around 4-4.5x gross salary. (And you need a good chunk already saved, which is also hard as tax and rent is high) £100k salary doesn't buy an average 1 bed in london (and you'r…

Wow, I just learned so many shocking things. (Not being sarcastic)

Google pays Londoners wayyyy less.

It's impossible to afford a house in London on a six-figure salary.

We live in strange times.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#193

Post by koilke »

thebrowncat wrote: post #85
bizzleDawg wrote: post #75

I am seeing a lot of comments here about depression, though it doesn't ring true to me - the situation you're in is one that myself and a lot of the other comments can understand from our own experience of similar situations and it really does suck. My take is that you're feeling the way you do in response to the situation you find yourself in, and perhaps due to the loss of control and ensuing hopelessness. As a fir…

Thank you - I've read Ikigai and loved it :) Could probably do with another read!

I would personally recommend Good Reasons for Bad Feelings By Randolph M. Nesse

The author digs into the idea that humans may have evolved to a certain extent to have good reasons for bad feelings. Several fascinating cases are cited and it made me realise how feelings can be a warning of something. Maybe a bit like when we eat too much salt or sweet then the body reacts. Emotions could work like that but perhaps in a less tangible way.

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/546633/good-reasons...

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#194

Post by NotSammyHagar »

The answer is get a different job that you don't hate, that allows for some or all remote work. In Seattle, we pay college hires 100-130k us $. If you have 5-10 years experience, you are making probably 250k+ total comp. My experience was the UK pays a lot less money, outside of some London jobs. With 20 years experience, or special expertise, you are making 500k us. Are you really making a £900k / 1 mill $? Principal engineers at top companies in seattle make $700k

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#196

Post by randomopining »

accountofme wrote: post #195

I think the answer is: quit. Fuck all this shit. Life is not about being miserable. Find something that does interest you. And if it doesn't try again. :)

Yeah im thinking once you get to like 300k savings, should just quit and figure out something worth doing. What's the point of stacking cash to get to $2 mil anyway? What are you gonna do, be like 40 years old and buy a house and chill? Travel a bit? Nobody cares. Prob better to do something worthwhile now while you have the time and youth.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#197

Post by pertymcpert »

harel wrote: post #190

I'm late to respond, but I hear you. I mostly work with startups or startup-like projects. The few gigs I had in Finance I found the day-to-day to be lacking any meaningful challenge. The only plus was the higher pay. And it seemed like the less attractive the role, the larger the sum that was placed on the table. On the job front, you'd be surprised what you can earn in London NOT doing finance. Start contracting. T…

Mind telling where you live? I’m interested in moving to London in a few years time.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#198

Post by oneplane »

granshaw wrote: post #161
oneplane wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being employed or running a business (or being in school, in a sports team etc.) also means you're part of the general actively synchronised life. Might sound fuzzy but it boils down to being in touch with society around you. Then again, there is plenty of society all over the world where that means working strange hours, strange jobs, or not at all.

It’s not an either/or. Having a good nest egg gives you the option of working less or working on something more fulfilling (that still generates income)

That is true. But following some 'masterplan' that involves "Get a PhD, get a crappy bonus-oriented job that you hate in a place that you hate, quit everything to retire" is just another variation on the other general flows ("go to school, get a job, find love, get kids, get a house, get the kids to go to school, become a grandparent"). None of those are going to suddenly 'buy' you happiness. It also doesn't mean going 'against the flow' or 'doing the opposite' is therefore 'better', it's just that there is no guaranteed plan that makes life meaningful and nice.

If you are following some common flow and it turns out you're not happy doing that, try and modify instead of 'keeping your head down and powering through' or some nonsense like that. Especially if you have options.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#199

Post by oneplane »

kgin wrote: post #134
oneplane wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being employed or running a business (or being in school, in a sports team etc.) also means you're part of the general actively synchronised life. Might sound fuzzy but it boils down to being in touch with society around you. Then again, there is plenty of society all over the world where that means working strange hours, strange jobs, or not at all.

Everyone needs a way to plug in to the world around them. It doesn’t have to be a full time job or even a job at all. But this is something everyone needs.

Indeed. There are many ways to have that (some people want to be part of a group or club, some people want to be around but mostly just as a passive observer, some people want to consume, some want to produce), it's just a matter of finding out what works.

In tech I'm seeing more combinations of low-hour steady jobs, combined with passion projects, entrepreneurial things, being in/around nature, teaching things to other people, and also very 'low complexity' stuff like running a few shifts at a non-chain espresso bar, just for the change of scenery while still being connected and active. Heck, I've had someone do that, enjoy it a ton and then flip around (owns an espresso bar, does some DevOps engineering on the side, both working out great even in the pandemic).

It's mostly that attempting to peak for the sake of peaking or retiring for the sake of retiring usually ends up rather disconnected and hollow. Perhaps it's some sort of genetic thirst for tribalism.

Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

#200

Post by oneplane »

AnotherGoodName wrote: post #124
oneplane wrote: post #112

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Being employed or running a business (or being in school, in a sports team etc.) also means you're part of the general actively synchronised life. Might sound fuzzy but it boils down to being in touch with society around you. Then again, there is plenty of society all over the world where that means working strange hours, strange jobs, or not at all.

What you've said is correct but if you take what you've said and apply it to the point of retirement it gets a bit depressing since you do indeed lose all those things. People have a lot of trouble accepting retirement because of that loss of routine and of connection. So what's the best outcome? My point of view is that the answer is to find something right now that provides that connection to society without causin…

Yep, and having something to do is sometimes all you need to keep "plugged in". It doesn't even need to be a job or a money maker. That said, when (commercial) value is created, it's usually a good idea to make sure that value isn't given away for free (but it doesn't have to be top-tier pricing either). Besides income, money is also a signal and a valuation method for the parties involved.
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