Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city

bad form replying to myself, but this just occurred to me..

Given you sound fairly young, what about powering thru say 3 years with your partner to build a nest egg. Then both taking (perhaps lower paying) jobs that you enjoy, giving your nest egg time to grow - that way, you'd have the satisfaction of doing something you enjoy, and the option to retire whenever...

Hey mate, I've been there. You're blaming a lot of general extraneous factors. That sort of generalized dreariness... might you just be depressed? I mean, the sort of non-"meaningless" is quite hard to come by. A few generations ago most everybody was farming or mining coal or something. Actually, probably most people are doing jobs like that outside of the bubble we live in thinking worldwide anyway. You really ought to delineate what you want in a house-- surely you can afford something in a nice neighborhood on the outskirts-- but then you'd be tied down and have to maintain your own house.

And, there are worst places than London, believe me. It's just too easy to fantasize about other lives-- the grass is always greener.

Life is too short to waste years in a job you dread.

Let me say that again.

LIFE IS TOO SHORT TO WASTE YEARS IN A JOB YOU DREAD.

You are selling yourself short, though. Sure, you might take a bit of a compensation haircut stepping away from your current role, but money isn't everything, and people retire early without spending their career making crazy money. It just takes more planning.

Your degree is a money-printing machine. You can find work that will be fulfilling and not awful and not underpaid. It won't be EASY but worthwhile things often aren't.

You're also in a world where remote work is 100% a thing people DO. This introduces the challenge of your partner, though -- under the surface of your post is a possible other problem. Does your partner love London? Does he love his work?

It's not uncommon for a sort of "oh shit is this it?" feeling to start happening in one's 30s. It doesn't mean you have to act on it, but you also shouldn't ignore it entirely.

I feel this post is really hard to understand. You are:

* A phd in quant finance in London

* You joined due to high comp

* You say getting a home would cost 10 times your salary

* You have a partner earning multiples of your salary (?!)

* You want to retire early

I guess I just feel like this story doesn't seem like the numbers make any sense? A quant finance phd should be able to afford a home. A quant finance phd with a partner earning multiples of them should easily be able to afford a home. Maybe not in cash, but certainly with a mortgage, even in this market. You say "an 'adequate' house in London would cost at least 10 times my salary", but that seems manageable with your partner's help?

It seems like your economic position is incredibly favorable to me, and that you wouldn't really experience any difference economically if you got a more pleasant job with lower income if your partner is going to be the breadwinner, in such a way that you can make life better for the both of you.

edit: The housing thing is really throwing me for a loop. Perhaps I have no sense of the London market, but I'm going to assume no person can be unsatisfied living a million dollar home, that a quant finance phd must earn at least $100k per year, and that a partner earning multiples of that must earn at least $300k per year. How do these numbers check out?

I'd offer an idea like "How about going back to college? Is that something your partner would be okay with?"

But I have the feeling that you are showing signs of depression. It removes all color from an otherwise colorful life. Get out of that situation as soon as possible, it is damaging your mental health.

As for early retirement, check out the leanfire subreddit. I think your view on retirement could use a different perspective.