Retirement is not a binary. Why don’t you go do all the stuff you want to do for 6 months or a year? Maybe do a few short freelance/contract gigs during that time so there’s no resume gap. F*** the recruiters who expect zero resume gaps in a lifetime anyways. I mean life is just too short for this kind of crap, go have fun and have some faith that things will work out. You either jump or you don't.
Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
91–100 of 265 posts
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#92There's a couple of constraints here that seem to be dominating your decisions. One: early retirement Two: the idea that the recruiter was right about not being able to find the money elsewhere You have a PhD in Computer Science , one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to c…
This comment really resonated with me, but I thought I'd tackle one point in particular:
Personally, I've felt that retirement is an outdated concept. Don't get me wrong, I'm planning for it, but I'm in no way expecting it to be entirely possible; not without some form of at least part-time work to support it.
Maybe this is a factor of my environment (3rd world country, but one you've heard of). I look at my parents (who are in the lucky position to be able to retire), my peers and their parents (who are often in a worse situation, but might be OK with part-time work, or with help from their children), and the general public I interact with (massive income disparity makes this a dream to most). We're also living longer on a generational level, so the "early" part becomes even more difficult to obtain.
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#93Btw, you seem to be underpaid. You should be getting 300K-500K GBP total comp. Shouldn't have an issue buying a house.
I'm guessing you've just taken the average Silicon Valley salary in USD and converted it to GBP. Europe doesn't pay the same way as SV...
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#94You could fly to London on Monday morning and work until Thursday afternoon (4 x 10 hours/day or 4 x 8 hours/day). You would sleep in a hotel for 3 nights/week in London and most probably pay less than for a monthly rent. Then you could build your home almost everywhere (the only limitations are good flight connections to London). Maybe you could even negotiate partly remote work. During work you would sleep 4 nights at home and 3 nights in London. During holidays you would be at home all the time. If you manage, you can even retire early. Since homes one hour flight from London can be much cheaper you would be able to pay for them faster...
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#95And what does your partner think? > 2. ... an 'adequate' house in London would cost at least 10 times my salary. Then buy outside of London something much cheaper, save a shitload and retire early, while keeping that well paying job. > 3. London is a horrible place to live. I have no affinity for it whatsoever. Even if I could afford a house I would not want to live here. It is a known fact that there are many people…
Also worth thinking about places that are on crossrail aka the Elizabeth line:
https://content.tfl.gov.uk/elizabeth-line-when-fully-open.pd...
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#96There's a couple of constraints here that seem to be dominating your decisions. One: early retirement Two: the idea that the recruiter was right about not being able to find the money elsewhere You have a PhD in Computer Science , one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to c…
> You have a PhD in Computer Science, one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to code and glue web apps together for 6 figures. Don’t want to be a buzzkill but OP can as well be a mediocre engineer, even with a CS PhD. It’s important to recognize your own strengths and weakn…
Unfortunately, a CS PhD doesn't even guarantee mediocrity.
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#97This sounds like a combo of mild depression, burn out, and concrete/legitimate issues. I would try and disambiguate which of these is the driving vs contributing factor. Reductionist reasoning trends to nihilism for every job/activity (including travel, meditation, etc). Maybe you are expecting too much from your job in terms of fulfillment/meaning? Or too little? Community and people make our lives richer than money…
Agreed on the depression aspect. Working a job you hate while feeling trapped is a perfect recipe for depression, even if you otherwise aren’t predisposed.
I cannot recommend enough the value of finding a trusted therapist during such a time. Such a person can be difficult to find and you shouldn’t stop trying if the first person you see isn’t a good fit. (This probably doesn’t work for everyone.)
Once you feel like you have your feet under you again, quit your job. If you’re able, take a job that prioritizes your happiness over your salary. I took a pay cut for greater job satisfaction and the trade off was worth it (for me; again, this won’t be the same for everyone).
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#98There's a couple of constraints here that seem to be dominating your decisions. One: early retirement Two: the idea that the recruiter was right about not being able to find the money elsewhere You have a PhD in Computer Science , one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to c…
> You have a PhD in Computer Science, one of the highest academic accomplishments in one of the hottest fields for the last 30-40 years. I want you to know how far ahead you are of people like me who just taught themselves to code and glue web apps together for 6 figures. Don’t want to be a buzzkill but OP can as well be a mediocre engineer, even with a CS PhD. It’s important to recognize your own strengths and weakn…
It can be even worse than that: be amazing at the theory, be an amazing engineer, but being unable to make something that can be interpreted by others makes you an unacceptable risk to any company (except your own).
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#99I had middle six digits in the USA with a green card. I abandoned everything to go back to my home country. Ill never make as much money as I was making in the USA in the same field here in Europe. But I am much more happy. every day I walk in my city, everyday I eat some home food I rejoice that I did not chose the money. u won't make the same money back home but ur life will be cheaper, and youll be happy. Thinking money first as a person with a family that built wealth is not really needed. If you were an immigrant from a poor background it would make sense but if your parents built wealth most likely ull get some of it... why care about making six or five digits?
Re: Ask HN: I feel trapped in my job and city
#100I'm going to be the contrarian. Keep the job. Power through it and retire as early as you can, then you can do whatever you want. If you're in $finance$ or $FAANG$, don't go to a non-FAANG. Definitely don't quit your job unless you have another one lined up, and definitely don't take an extended leave to travel and find yourself. Don't believe "CS grads will always be employed." There are people on HN who graduated in 2010 and have worked a decade without experiencing trying to stay employed in a bear market. It can and will happen again, and suddenly having savings is going to be super important. Work is not supposed to be roses and sunshine. That's why it's called Work and not Fun Hobby.
Remember, the goal is to not have to work. Then, you can do whatever fun thing you want, even a fun job!
I wish I would have had a quant finance salary and aggressive savings plan in my 30s. I might be retired already if I did. Instead I kind of flitted around doing "fun" jobs and didn't get serious about retiring until I hit 40. Don't be me.