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How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

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Re: How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

#21

Post by pickle-wizard »

A couple of clichés I use when I lack motivation.

The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago, the second best time is today.

Point being that is never too late to start.

Anything worth doing, is worth doing poorly.

Maybe you don't the motivation to give 100% today. Maybe you are not good enough to do it the right way. Doesn't matter. Don't just give up and do nothing. For example I may say I don't feel like going to the gym today and lifting weights. So instead of staying home and watching YouTube. I'll go walk on the treadmill for 20 minutes. Yeah it might not be as rigorous, and I might not have met my goal, but I did something.

Re: How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

#22

Post by siquick »

Try not to compare yourself to others - everyone has had a different journey and everyone has their own issues going on.

One thing that’s working for me is to pick a hobby (mine is music production), choose a consistent time that you’re going to do it, and just show up. There will be times that you just do no want to do it but just show up. Within a short space of time you’ll have a consistent hobby that you’ll probably make real progress in quite quickly.

Re: How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

#23

Post by kleer001 »

> I am in my mid thirties.

So young!

> Nothing like chronic disease or criminal stuff or drugs.

or family thing?

Then you're probably fine.

Go clean your room.

> I hate to see my life go to waste.

Then stop wasting it.

> I have so far not found a therapist, friend, or mentor who is of any help.

Keep trying.

Re: How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

#24

Post by giardini »

What do you mean by "alienated"? What do you want specifically? What do you do, if anything, for fun? What do you mean by "those people are usually working with more than I am"?

I hate to say it so crassly but lots of people get stuck in depression b/c they don't have a sex life. Orgasm is like a reboot with exploding rainbows and can clear out the cobwebs and open a road to a new future. So, if you're not getting any, then I recommend that you get laid ASAP if at all possible.

Re: How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

#25

Post by smarri »

I'm in my mid 30s and decided to move country, I gave myself almost a year to get sorted (find a job, house, etc) and it's given me something to look forward to. It's also a challenge that's kept me busy. This might not be suitable for your situation, but something to consider.

Re: How old is too old to fix a messed up life?

#26

Post by murm »

It's hard to say anything without knowing your situation in detail, but to me you sound more like you're just deeply lost rather than your life is messed up beyond repair. If you really focus and put your heart, soul and effort into something you can make astounding progress in just a few years, so mid-thirties does not sound too old in that regard.

You seem to have a felt sense of wasting your life by continuing to live it like this. That would imply that on some level you know that there's something you could and should be doing instead that you would be satisfied with, and your emotional systems are trying to signal to you that you're not doing that now. I would suggest you work on these crude signals and try to articulate the vision that's embedded in them into words to bring it into a form more comprehensible to yourself.

Here's a few questions: what would a properly lived life look like? What would you need? What could you do in your (lowly, confusing) situation to help yourself if you decided to do things properly, and humbly started to grab the opportunities that are presented to you right now, no matter how small and beneath you they might appear to you?

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