261–270 of 295 posts
What the author tried to implicitly say, and what many readers seemed to miss, is the fact that how the concepts of "dating" are uncharted and carry so many risks for people in the lower classes even after you take away the money factor. Their families and societies are tied up in such a way that makes indulging into such "modern" or "western" acts a huge taboo, with the youngsters facing severe punishments if caught…
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> Also willing to bet these cases of teen moms and alcoholic parents will be much more prevalent among the poorer classes in India than in the west in general. Precisely why the social restrictions exist. Alcohol has been a taboo in most parts of the country until the recent 2 decades with "westernisation". > Are they, really? Do you have a source? About 25% of children in the US are in single parent families. By its…
But how do you know these social restrictions prevent those vices? If anything, not having the freedom to choose one's spouse is bound to produce worse effects. A child would be much better off in a single-parent family than in a toxic household where the couple was basically forced together by their parents. Most of those 25% of American single-parent children live considerable better and happier than their Indian c…
So this falls on the society, so you get social restrictions.
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> The author is convinced that the couple’s life sucks. Objectively, their life does kinda suck. The woman is living in a slum and cleaning houses for a living, earning very little for a lot of exhausting labor. The man is doing little better. They have to be creative in finding places to just hang out with each other, which is really the foundation for any relationship. This isn't a judgement call on their relative…
I agree with some of your points. And kudos to the journalists for exploring this topic. However, look at the following: “She’s the first woman from her family who makes her own money.” To her, that might be an amazing success. Getting out of your default path and making it on your own is a big thing. Why do we need to emphasize that she can’t afford to eat at a Zomato restaurant? Is that a minimum bar for life being…
> The 23-year-old earns 8,000 rupees a month ($125) for her work. That’s what her employers can expect to pay for a single “date night” out at one of the city’s finer restaurants. Even in 2021 (article is from 2017) this is an exaggeration. You can have dinner for 2 at a five-star hotel in Delhi for less than half that amount, unless you're splurging on the drinks.
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You surely meant five figures and not ~500,000?
I meant annual income in my context ofc.
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I meant annual income in my context ofc.
Mid 6 figures annual income would be around 500000. The figures depict the digits not the zeros. I would think 500.000 annual income in Cyprus would be extremely high.
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I'd rather practice Brahmachariya and be married
>practice Brahmachariya and be married ??? You do know Brahmacharya means celibacy, right?
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"Arranged marriage" in an Indian context doesn't necessarily imply "parents tell you who to marry". In many cases it's essentially parent-involved matchmaking. There may be a professional matchmaker or family astrologer who sources leads. The prospective bride and bridegroom consider multiple or even dozens of options, and discuss their favorites with their parents or other close relatives. The bride/groom visit each…
>The prospective bride and bridegroom consider multiple or even dozens of options, and discuss their favorites with their parents or other close relatives. >If either person finds a major red-flag during this time, they have the (rarely-used) nuclear option of breaking the engagement. In India, this happens very rarely and mostly among the upper-classes. I'm guessing the Indian couples you know fall in that criteria.…
Per my understanding, parents, or their proxies (matchmakers, astrologers, interested close family and friends) source the prospects that their children consider. Which means those potential matches have parental "pre-approval", with things like education, career, and family background already taken into account. From that pre-vetted list, "you can marry whoever you want" is mostly true, from what I've been told. Unless some major red flag comes up during the family meet-and-greet.
It's possible my sample is limited to people from upper-class backgrounds.
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> The author is convinced that the couple’s life sucks. Objectively, their life does kinda suck. The woman is living in a slum and cleaning houses for a living, earning very little for a lot of exhausting labor. The man is doing little better. They have to be creative in finding places to just hang out with each other, which is really the foundation for any relationship. This isn't a judgement call on their relative…
if the masses realized/felt that their life sucks - they would revolt already against the status quo or maybe not, since upper classes will swiftly deal with it and go back to being miserable about their first world problems
I don’t think this paints the full picture but I believe this is at least partially due to differences in regional identities even within the class. India has multiple major languages, several castes and sub-castes (reference to this has been made in the article). This makes class solidarity much harder among the lower classes, who also have difficulty in accessing good education.
The upper classes on the other hand all speak English or Hindi. They can communicate with one another. Their easier access to education and frequent contact with people from other regions of the country makes them care less about those divisions. There is much more class solidarity in the upper classes.
The author is convinced that the couple’s life sucks. He/she is writing from a point of view of superiority - “look, this is what they’re lacking, they can’t afford a Rs.8000 dinner”. To a billionaire, my software engineer life will look miserable - “They have to go eat at Panera and Olive Garden. For their employer, a nice dineout costs $5000.” Can we stop looking down on people because they cannot afford what’s nor…