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Dating in Delhi when you're poor

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Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#241

Post by bongoman37 »

gcells wrote: post #221
valarauko wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

In practice, there really are several dozen gotras (at least among the Brahmins), if not hundreds. The traditional practice was for Brahmins to declare their exact line of descent alongside the gotra, by naming five noteworthy ancestors (pravara rishis), starting from the top level saptarishi ancestor gotra(one of seven). Some of the saptarishis famously didn't get along, and their descendants are considered incompat…

I suppose this was an ancient way to ensure genetic diversity and prevent pregnancy losses. There is already quite a bit of evidence that consanguinity leads to miscarriages [0]. [0] https://www.nature.com/articles/jp2011115

Funnily enough, the strict endogamy among Indian caste groups actually leads to far less diversity. There have been many genetic studies on this from Dr. Lal's and Dr. Thangaraj's group at Center for Cellular and Molecular Biology.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#242

Post by jwMnWbdt »

Marrying in same gotra is not one of the reason for honour killing. There are no evidences for it. There are reports for such incidents for marriage between two castes and religions. It appears the author has preconceived notions against certain aspect of indian society. A little factual evidence being provided,or diligent research before putting personal perspectives would have been better.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#243

Post by jacobwilliamroy »

As a man who lives below the poverty line I am extremely insecure about dating just because I worry about my partner trading up for someone with more money than me.

The consumerist culture doesn't help my confidence with women either. That Bruno Mars song "That's What I like" is literally just 3.5 minutes of him explaining how he seduces women by buying them lots of very expensive things. I couldn't even compete with a walmart middle manager at that game.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#244

Post by naruvimama »

dartharva wrote: post #237

What the author tried to implicitly say, and what many readers seemed to miss, is the fact that how the concepts of "dating" are uncharted and carry so many risks for people in the lower classes even after you take away the money factor. Their families and societies are tied up in such a way that makes indulging into such "modern" or "western" acts a huge taboo, with the youngsters facing severe punishments if caught…

Wealthy countries are struggling with the impact of teen moms, single mothers & alcoholic/druggie parents.

In countries like India with 1/10th to 1/25th the percapita income such social restrictions are a necessity.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#245

Post by dartharva »

naruvimama wrote: post #244
dartharva wrote: post #237

What the author tried to implicitly say, and what many readers seemed to miss, is the fact that how the concepts of "dating" are uncharted and carry so many risks for people in the lower classes even after you take away the money factor. Their families and societies are tied up in such a way that makes indulging into such "modern" or "western" acts a huge taboo, with the youngsters facing severe punishments if caught…

Wealthy countries are struggling with the impact of teen moms, single mothers & alcoholic/druggie parents. In countries like India with 1/10th to 1/25th the percapita income such social restrictions are a necessity.

> Wealthy countries are struggling with the impact of teen moms, single mothers & alcoholic/druggie parents.

Are they, really? Do you have a source? I'm willing to bet the suffering these social restrictions put on young women and men in general is several times that faced by the outliers you're conveniently pointing to. Also willing to bet these cases of teen moms and alcoholic parents will be much more prevalent among the poorer classes in India than in the west in general.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#246

Post by dhruval »

jessaustin wrote: post #5

Twelve years after they started dating, they married. The family disapproved. Surender’s grandmother and Preeti’s mother were from the same “gotra,” or clan. Hindu clans prohibit marriage within the descendants of an unbroken male line. The Wiki page on "gotra" suggests they "only" have to go back seven generations (I don't know any of my ancestors beyond five generations and the father of one of my great-grandfather…

Gotras are purely patrilineal, the mothers gotra doesn’t get passed down to the child.

There are other “rules” as well. But it really depends on the region and community.

There are some communities (for eg. Nairs) who traditionally have matrilineal systems.

So no generic rules for all of India.

This is all gradually breaking down with urbanization. So it’s not some sort of static thing either.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#247

Post by baybal2 »

ramraj07 wrote: post #181
DoreenMichele wrote: post #83

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Many years ago, I read of a study that measured poverty not in terms of income but with metrics like "How many meals per day do you get?" and "What kind of shelter do you have?" It concluded that less than 1/2 of one percent of Americans were poor by standards in India. When I've repeated that online, on at least one occasion someone who lived in India got mad at me for supposedly promoting negative stereotypes and t…

Grew up in india, spent my twenties in the US, and now back in India. I can give you some potential explanation: Even though the poor and lower middle class make abjectly low amounts of money, the upper middle class and the rich actually make money comparable to most developed countries. This is reflected in the real estate prices (Chennai, the fourth largest city, has prices comparable to Brooklyn). I can make 200k…

> Even though the poor and lower middle class make abjectly low amounts of money, the upper middle class and the rich actually make money comparable to most developed countries. This is reflected in the real estate prices (Chennai, the fourth largest city, has prices comparable to Brooklyn). I can make 200k UsD a year and call myself upper middle class and no one will bat an eye.

So true. People have very wrong expectation when "hiring poor Indians." India been a player in software development field for decades. People there know well how do they pay people in the US, not to say that most higher education in India automatically assumes some passable English.

The upper part of India society lives with one leg in the Western world, others not so much.

Mumbai may pass some times to a glass skyscraper city of the West, but drive 100km out of the city, and the reality will hit you like a truck.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#248

Post by DoreenMichele »

rendall wrote: post #191
DoreenMichele wrote: post #107

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm a former military wife. Just trying to explain how military life is different to other Americans was insanely hard. I lived in the same country. I used the same currency. I spoke the same language. Yet my life was not like that of civilians I knew and their underlying assumptions and mine that informed our decisions just did not match up to such a degree that I eventually stopped trying to explain my life choices…

That's interesting. Would you mind giving an example of one of these disjuncts? Some decision you made as a military wife that others did not understand?

I think the best example is actually from my divorce. A friend basically called me "stupid" for "trusting" my ex to pay me my support payments while on the phone and I basically politely hung up on her.

She was probably just worried sick about me because the stats for civilian Americans is abysmal. I think it's something like one third of men don't pay at all and one third only make partial payments, which routinely leaves women and their children in a real pickle. It can take months or years to get legal remedy, garnish his wages and get back payments -- if you get them at all.

But it doesn't work that way in the military. If he had stiffed me, I would have written his commanding officer and his wages would have been garnished post haste, much more quickly than what you typically see in the civilian world.

My friend apparently thought I was some naive little ninny who just didn't understand the cold, cruel world because I had such a sheltered existence as a homemaker. And that wasn't it at all. The rules were just different for me and I was in no danger of being left out in the cold like she was likely imagining was about to happen to me given how common that is in the civilian version of America.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#249

Post by baybal2 »

captain_price7 wrote: post #24
devoutsalsa wrote: post #8

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The mother of a friend on mine in Pakistan was hiring a part-time housekeeper for ~3 hours per day. One housekeeper asked for $40 USD/month, and the mother thought that was too expensive.

Here in Dhaka, we pay around 45usd/month for 1.5hr of work per day.

Captain, did you move back to BD from the West?

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#250

Post by [deleted] »

salynchnew wrote: post #239
rendall wrote: post #191

Earlier quoted context omitted.

That's interesting. Would you mind giving an example of one of these disjuncts? Some decision you made as a military wife that others did not understand?

The incentive structure in the military is completely different from normal American society. Imagine a parallel, "socialist" society that exists inside the U.S.A. That's the military in a nutshell. It has its own government-run housing authority, its own government-run medical system, you don't always know where you will end up on your next tour, you may not be allowed to quit and leave the military when you would n…

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