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Dating in Delhi when you're poor

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Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#61

Post by derefr »

chinchilla2020 wrote: post #46
jimbob21 wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you actually read that comment about Toronto? He immediately prefaces it by saying it isn't in the same realm, but can relate because he's poor in his area as well. I don't think that YOU realize that it is okay to relate to common feelings without being the most of that thing. The guy from Toronto doesn't have to be the most poor person in the most poor area in order to understand their feelings and talk about h…

He is not gatekeeping being poor. He is pointing out that being poor in Toronto is not the same as being poor in Delhi. You are trying to lump two things together into a category that are not even remotely comparable.

There are two distinct experiences being discussed here: the experience of living in absolute poverty; and the experience of being down-and-out in a city you can't afford the cost-of-living of (i.e. "relative" poverty — the kind you could in theory get away from by "moving somewhere cheaper", but where for various reasons people don't tend to do that.)

Both the poor person in Toronto and the poor person in Delhi are in relative poverty, and have the lived experiences of relative poverty in common.

And also, the lived experiences of relative poverty are usually what someone means when they talk about "being poor." If you live in Dubai and make $50k/yr, but that doesn't even get you a crappy apartment two hours away from work, so you have to sleep in your car; and all your money is going to paying for groceries in a city that has to import all its food, and for car insurance that costs more than your car, so you don't have any savings — then you're poor, by most people's definition!

But of course, only the homeless person in Delhi experiences absolute poverty. They have two problems: relative poverty, and absolute poverty.

But the homeless person in Delhi will still commisserate with the homeless person in Toronto over the lived experiences and troubles that come from relative poverty — a problem they both share — even if the homeless person in Toronto doesn't know anything about what living with absolute poverty is like. They both still get their meagre possessions stolen if they stop watching them for a few minutes. They both sleep rough and have to actively think about how to not die when there's a heat wave or a cold spell. They both probably have a fungal infection somewhere on their bodies from their clothes being damp all the dang time. Etc.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#62

Post by snambi »

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

There is a difference between the "slums" in India versus the ones in USA. The indian slums are just poor with no infrastructure. you will find the people in the slums to be genuine, kind and hardworking. of course there are exceptions.

The slums in USA are exactly the opposite. The slum dwellers are scary to even look at. They don't work and they are anti social. They disturb the society.

The slums are happening in USA, despite plenty of jobs, government programs and NGOs trying to help them.

I am not one country is better than the other. simply pointing out the differences.

Article such as this are written to make Americans feel good about themselves at the cost of others, while providing absolutely no solution or help to those suffering.

so, either you should help or just shutup.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#63

Post by chrisseaton »

em-bee wrote: post #56
chrisseaton wrote: post #40

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Ok... but this still isn't even within orders of magnitude of 'upper class', is it?

EDIT: i used the terms middle class and upper class, when i should have used middle income and upper income. middle class and middle income are often mixed up. upper class and upper income less so. old text: well if the definition of middle class ends at 106k income per year then anything above that must be upper class. the problem here is that obviously upper class has a very wide range which skews the perception of…

Upper class starting at around 100k would give America an upper class of around a third of the population! I guess we're meaning entirely different things since an upper class of a third of the population seems like a contradiction in terms to me!

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#64

Post by retrac »

ipaddr wrote: post #43
retrac wrote: post #3

It's fascinating how much wider the class gap is there, but so many of the same dynamics sound familiar. Parts of it read as very familiar to me. In Toronto, as a guy from a small town and a working class background. It is also very different for me, of course. Ultimately very few Canadians are "poor", in a sense. I could walk into one of our hospitals on one of those dates and be seen for free. Social assistance pai…

It sounds like you are away from home feel a sense of freedom and got sucked into a downtown lifestyle with no budget. I don't understand why out of towners move downtown and only downtown where local people have moved to other areas of the city because of price and affordability. Somehow downtown feels safe because as a tourist that's what you see. For those moving get out of the downtown core and be able to afford…

No, I was living in the outer suburbs. Toronto has always been expensive. Nearly all of my income went to the rent on a bedroom and a transit pass the first year. I suppose that is the downtown lifestyle, though.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#65

Post by ReptileMan »

chinchilla2020 wrote: post #46
jimbob21 wrote: post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you actually read that comment about Toronto? He immediately prefaces it by saying it isn't in the same realm, but can relate because he's poor in his area as well. I don't think that YOU realize that it is okay to relate to common feelings without being the most of that thing. The guy from Toronto doesn't have to be the most poor person in the most poor area in order to understand their feelings and talk about h…

He is not gatekeeping being poor. He is pointing out that being poor in Toronto is not the same as being poor in Delhi. You are trying to lump two things together into a category that are not even remotely comparable.

They are totally comparable when it comes to dating since social status is relative. The poor person in Switzerland has shittier dating life than the middle income in Botswana even if he is making more in absolute terms.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#66

Post by farmerstan »

I thought Indians largely looked down on dating, although maybe the times have changed in the last 10 years? I have many close Indian friends and they are all married via arranged marriage. I’m pretty sure their American-born children will not marry via arranged marriage though and they have all come to grips with that.

I remember talking with one of my friends about arranged marriage and she laughed in my face when I asked her what she thought about marrying for love. She said that marrying for love is a Hollywood myth and if you look around, did it really exist long term? She said compatibility was the most important thing, not love, which I found very interesting.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#67

Post by justicezyx »

cheriot wrote: post #57
ajmurmann wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> there's also other issues, such as people claiming there's more homeless in LA than in Delhi, not realizing that a lot of effectively homeless people in India aren't classified as such - it'd be like saying you're not homeless in LA if you have a tent or a sleeping bag Sorry, I really cannot avoid going on a tangent because of this. We seem to talk quite differently about informal housing if it's in the US or west…

In America, slums and informal housing is destroyed by the city government. See LA's Echo Park for a recent example https://abcnews.go.com/US/police-protesters-clash-sweep-echo... We have 350m people, 0.5m homeless and lack the political will to build more housing. They are expected to stay out of sight or the municipality will destroy their shelter and often trash their belongings. Humanity is more cost effective, b…

Note that Indian people are suffering way more than than their western counterparts. The homeless in US lives a considerably better life than Indian homeless.

This is not justifying one or the other. But if one always start with humanity as one's subject of discussion, than there probably is no meaningful progress to be made at all.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#68

Post by nine_zeros »

I would contend it's easier to date in India. Cheap thrills are everywhere, far too many people around for you to stick out of the crowd (you just need to be a few train/bus stops away from familiar locations).

Strikingly, transportation is cheap. No need to own a car/get expensive Uber rides. And street food is plenty and delicious. Simple dating is much easier for everyone in the spectrum.

Societal issues on the other hand are still not up to the other modern 50% of the country.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#69

Post by spoonjim »

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

Yep - if you see a guy riding a rickety bicycle with a goat slung over his back... think about how he might be one of the wealthier people in his community.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#70

Post by hilbertseries »

cheriot wrote: post #57
ajmurmann wrote: post #15

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> there's also other issues, such as people claiming there's more homeless in LA than in Delhi, not realizing that a lot of effectively homeless people in India aren't classified as such - it'd be like saying you're not homeless in LA if you have a tent or a sleeping bag Sorry, I really cannot avoid going on a tangent because of this. We seem to talk quite differently about informal housing if it's in the US or west…

In America, slums and informal housing is destroyed by the city government. See LA's Echo Park for a recent example https://abcnews.go.com/US/police-protesters-clash-sweep-echo... We have 350m people, 0.5m homeless and lack the political will to build more housing. They are expected to stay out of sight or the municipality will destroy their shelter and often trash their belongings. Humanity is more cost effective, b…

I think there’s a little more nuance to what happened in echo park. Echo Park lake has always had some homeless people living there, but it was nowhere close to 200 prepandemic. There was also some attempt to relocate everyone, it’s the city of LA so obviously no one really trusted them. But it’s weird to me see a public park that’s meant to be used by everyone taken over and then when it’s taken back. LA is destroying informal housing?
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