Dating in Delhi when you're poor • Hacker News Board

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#11

Post by sombremesa » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:46 PM UTC

thebean11 wrote: post #9

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

Not disagreeing with your overall point, but amount of money (based on currency exchange rates) is a bad way to compare poverty levels across different areas. It doesn't take into account cost of living which makes a huge difference.

I'm not talking about the American middle class in the comparison I make in the GP.

I actually have no idea what you're talking about, because I didn't mention any amount of money at all.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#12

Post by Andrew_nenakhov » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:51 PM UTC

chana_masala wrote: post #10

Dating is so depressing, and it sounds even more soul crushing under these conditions.

I disagree. It is the best thing they have in their lives.

Also, you don't really need money to be happy. I used to have no money at all when I was young and still had great time with girls.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#13

Post by webmobdev » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:53 PM UTC

factorialboy wrote: post #4

gopalv wrote: post #2

Some of this stuff looks very poorly sourced or misunderstood. > Marrying within the “gotra” is one of the primary reasons for recurring “honour killing” of lovers in India I hope not, because it is such a weird upper-caste nit-pick. > they talk about their lives and walk around the park, or eat aloo-chaat or golgappas at a roadside stall That is such a still frame of the middle class life in Delhi from the 90s. My p…

Unfortunately Indian media is full of "secular" authors pretending to be liberal but regularly dishing hate against native faiths. But to be fair, it's not just the news media that's afflicted by this disease, bollywood is no better.

I didn't understand your viewpoint. What exactly are you angry at in believing the author is "dishing hate" - that the author pointed out that marrying within gotras is frowned upon or that people are sometimes killed over it (honour killing)? Both are facts.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#14

Post by pm90 » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:54 PM UTC

thebean11 wrote: post #9

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

Not disagreeing with your overall point, but amount of money (based on currency exchange rates) is a bad way to compare poverty levels across different areas. It doesn't take into account cost of living which makes a huge difference.

Except that cost of living is also pretty high in Indian metros (especially Delhi). This is why most of the residents live in slums: they can't afford permanent/legal housing. From the article:

> But nearly half of the city’s population lives in slums without basic services and facilities like drinking water, garbage disposal or a proper drainage system.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#15

Post by ajmurmann » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:55 PM UTC

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

> there's also other issues, such as people claiming there's more homeless in LA than in Delhi, not realizing that a lot of effectively homeless people in India aren't classified as such - it'd be like saying you're not homeless in LA if you have a tent or a sleeping bag

Sorry, I really cannot avoid going on a tangent because of this.

We seem to talk quite differently about informal housing if it's in the US or west vs. in a poorer country. We have non-profits push for sanitation in "slums" to improve health outcomes. Yet nobody is pushing for bathroom access or garbage removal in "homeless camps". I recently read about a homeless camp in a park in Oregon where the inhabitants cut down trees for materials and fire wood. When does it become a slum and we start treating it like we'd expect poorer countries to treat their slums?

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#16

Post by kshacker » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:57 PM UTC

devoutsalsa wrote: post #8

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

The mother of a friend on mine in Pakistan was hiring a part-time housekeeper for ~3 hours per day. One housekeeper asked for $40 USD/month, and the mother thought that was too expensive.

Well it depends on 1) the local price and 2) the ability of the mother to pay. She may not be able to afford help with an American minimum wage.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#17

Post by em-bee » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:58 PM UTC

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

i would not consider someone who can spend $100 on average in an afternoon to be middle class.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#18

Post by webmobdev » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:59 PM UTC

jessaustin wrote: post #5

Twelve years after they started dating, they married. The family disapproved. Surender’s grandmother and Preeti’s mother were from the same “gotra,” or clan. Hindu clans prohibit marriage within the descendants of an unbroken male line. The Wiki page on "gotra" suggests they "only" have to go back seven generations (I don't know any of my ancestors beyond five generations and the father of one of my great-grandfather…

From what I recall, some temples / priests / elders keep a record of this within a community. And yeah, that is one of the reasons why marrying outside your community, with or without your parent's consent, is such a big deal in India (not just with the Hindus who subscribe to gotras but also among other communities, as the emphasis on arranged marriages are often on "shared values" between the families. It's harder to determine what values an "outsider" or their family has, as it becomes harder to use your social circles to investigate them. )

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#19

Post by thebean11 » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 6:59 PM UTC

sombremesa wrote: post #11

thebean11 wrote: post #9

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Not disagreeing with your overall point, but amount of money (based on currency exchange rates) is a bad way to compare poverty levels across different areas. It doesn't take into account cost of living which makes a huge difference.

I'm not talking about the American middle class in the comparison I make in the GP. I actually have no idea what you're talking about, because I didn't mention any amount of money at all.

> So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an average afternoon

You are making a comparison between two sums of money (the amount middle class people spend in an afternoon, and the amount poor people make in a month).

Obviously I misinterpreted who the middle class people were, but I doubt I'm the only one. I thought you meant middle class Westerners.

Re: Dating in Delhi when you're poor

#20

Post by azernik » Fri, Aug 06, 2021, 7:00 PM UTC

ajmurmann wrote: post #15

sombremesa wrote: post #7

My first thought when reading this was hoping that these types of articles will reduce the comments I see on the internet that try and compare Delhi/Mumbai squalor to LA. Then I read the first comment on this HN thread, which is directly comparing this to Toronto. So either Westerners don't realize that people in these places are making less money in a month than the middle class person can expect to spend in an aver…

> there's also other issues, such as people claiming there's more homeless in LA than in Delhi, not realizing that a lot of effectively homeless people in India aren't classified as such - it'd be like saying you're not homeless in LA if you have a tent or a sleeping bag Sorry, I really cannot avoid going on a tangent because of this. We seem to talk quite differently about informal housing if it's in the US or west…

Interestingly, my family, coming from a recently-developed country, does compare them to slums.