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Life before smartphones (2020)

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Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#341

Post by notJim »

oceanghost wrote: post #192
rapnie wrote: post #131

Earlier quoted context omitted.

And he doesn't even mention that you could just be outside, and be unreachable and not able to reach other people too. As a kid I used to play outside a lot, and my mother had no clue where I was, nor could she easily find out. I could be outside all day without her worrying that I'd be abducted or involved in an accident. Now that all has completely changed, and my mother has too. Some years ago when I walked into t…

I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we're supposed to be "reachable" all the time. Some of my friends will freak out if I don't text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to "promise" that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes. I said "hard no" explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, rea…

> I have purposefully started training my friends by being erratic with my texts/messages/e-mails.

This is the way. My whole family is like this, and it's awesome. Sometimes people are too busy and don't reply, but no one gets offended. It can be annoying when planning, but overall it's great.

> I have another friend who always calls on his commute home and gets offended when I don't answer.

Similarly, we have a rule that it's not rude to call to shoot the shit, but it's also not rude to send the person straight to voicemail for any reason. It's so nice to just be able to call my sister out of the blue and know that if I'm bothering her, she won't pick up.

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#343

Post by notJim »

Fr0styMatt88 wrote: post #270
oceanghost wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we're supposed to be "reachable" all the time. Some of my friends will freak out if I don't text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to "promise" that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes. I said "hard no" explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, rea…

This is something I've been personally trying to get better at. As someone who did a lot of instant messaging in the 90s (think ICQ and IRC) I would think nothing of shooting off texts to people whenever I felt like it via SMS. There was never an expectation of immediately being answered back then and I always thought of messaging as 'write it while you remember and don't expect a response until whenever'. If somethi…

In my view, if people are getting annoyed you're texting them, it's on them. They're the ones assuming you expect an immediate response, unless you're complaining about it. If you're getting annoyed about them not replying, that's on you.

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#344

Post by notJim »

kshacker wrote: post #205
oceanghost wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we're supposed to be "reachable" all the time. Some of my friends will freak out if I don't text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to "promise" that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes. I said "hard no" explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, rea…

> I have purposefully started training my friends by being erratic with my texts/messages/e-mails I would very much like to do what you say but with a million interrupts a day, it is now or never. If I neglect / defer something now, I would likely get back to it next week. Even for work. I do find time to focus 4 hours on some work activities but those are just the high priority visible stuff otherwise maybe if someo…

Curious what your situation is. If it was personal stuff, I would honestly just mute anyone who is too noisy, and then check in periodically. If you don't like them, well they get a large period in between check-ins :). Over time, they come to expect it, and realize it's not personal. If it's work stuff, maybe you could figure out a scheduling system (like a lightweight ticketing system or inbox maybe.)

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#345

Post by notJim »

Sebb767 wrote: post #229
swayvil wrote: post #202

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Soon they will replace the "phone ring" with an electric shock. Mark my words. Like in 1984. People who want to "spend time alone" are deviant, diseased and antisocial. And must be stopped.

You're missing the tree in the forest. No one is forced to look at their phone, the reality is that people have trained themselves to want it.

It's not just training ourselves, it's companies training us. When people talk about dopamine hits from getting a like on a post, or feeling a buzz from an app, they are explicitly setting out to create a behavioral pattern that benefits them in some way. They are training us like Pavlov's dogs, and while humans are smarter, we do respond to operant conditioning.

At the end of the day, we as people have to react to this environment that's been created, but the people who created it knew what they were doing.

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#346

Post by gilbetron »

tboyd47 wrote: post #97
gilbetron wrote: post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

You can sell your car, get a horse, and travel around like it is the 19th century. Of course, nothing around you will be like the 19th century. Not that it isn't worth doing for other reasons, but moving your tech backwards doesn't move the world around you backwards.

Cars are better than horses for a lot of reasons. But smartphones are delivering no benefit to mankind. At all. The only compelling reason to use them is social pressure.

> But smartphones are delivering no benefit to mankind.

All those billions of fools being tricked into using them! I can see an argument that the downsides of social media outweigh the benefits of access to nearly unlimited knowledge, but I don't even agree with that argument. I spent more of my life without smartphones than with, and I still 100% would rather have them than not. The access to the knowledge alone is amazing. Stuck out in the middle of nowhere? A quick google search gets you home. Traveling around in the middle of nowhere without a map isn't actually that great of a life lesson after the first time or two. And I live in the "first world" - the benefits to third world countries are profound.

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#347

Post by LeftHandPath »

pugets wrote: post #142

What I miss more than anything else is having an attention span. Years of abusing social media has left my brain pinballing all over the place. I am a collection of unfinished thoughts. Even as I write this, I can feel my mind needing to latch onto something new.

I've started weening myself off of everything that's instant-gratification. No reddit, no imgur, no short-format news stories or list articles. A week ago I drove 9 hours for a camping trip and spent several days without my phone and smart-watch. For several months I've made a point to walk at least an hour a day (to go about 5 miles) without looking at my phone -- but I still wear my watch to track the distance. I still feel like I have to have some form of audio going in the background - maybe something educational, maybe ASMR - while I'm browsing hacker news. If I play a game, I still choose one without a narrative so that I can listen to a podcast while I play. I'm not sure that any of these habits are beneficial.

I think Nicholas Carr had a great point in The Shallows (2010) [1] -- our brains have a lot of plasticity, even into late adulthood. The way we use the internet probably has a much larger impact on the way we think than we are currently willing to acknowledge. There is a healthy way to integrate electronics into our daily lives, but I don't think many of us have found it.

[1] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Shallows_(book)

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#348

Post by ineedasername »

varjag wrote: post #120
laurieg wrote: post #5

A couple of stand-out memories from the olden days (and I don't consider myself particularly old): Getting a call in a restaurant. Only happened to me once but I certainly felt like a VIP. Carrying a tiny map book of London around with me while cycling around. Missing turn after turn until finding there was a canal which basically took me from the center to my uncle's house. Arranging to meet a friend and then being…

I (legally) smoked on a plane!

I know that's the way we say it, but maybe I've seen Airplane too many times to ignore the potential difference between literal and figurative for anything plane-related. So I just pictured you taking a drag, wind in your hair, sitting on the wing of the plane and yet somehow not falling off as it went along it's way.

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#349

Post by SamoyedFurFluff »

Fr0styMatt88 wrote: post #270
oceanghost wrote: post #192

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I wanted to say this. I hate how small the world has become and how we're supposed to be "reachable" all the time. Some of my friends will freak out if I don't text back in as little as 5 minutes. A particular needy friend once tried to get me to "promise" that I would always return her texts within 10 minutes. I said "hard no" explaining that it meant that it meant that I could never watch a movie uninterrupted, rea…

This is something I've been personally trying to get better at. As someone who did a lot of instant messaging in the 90s (think ICQ and IRC) I would think nothing of shooting off texts to people whenever I felt like it via SMS. There was never an expectation of immediately being answered back then and I always thought of messaging as 'write it while you remember and don't expect a response until whenever'. If somethi…

I find it helpful to actively (and when I first introduce myself) online is to also have a disclaimer on how I communicate and to let me know if I need to change my patterns to accommodate someone. This information up front (and regular reminders about my lack of offense at not being responded to immediately) is often extremely reassuring to others rather than a source of anxiety. Because now I’ve ensured we’re all on the same page.

Re: Life before smartphones (2020)

#350

Post by ARandomerDude »

blooalien wrote: post #326
i_am_proteus wrote: post #262

Earlier quoted context omitted.

>I don't answer texts while I'm driving because I literally got in an accident texting (it was a freak circumstance, but these things do happen) I'd like to address this in a non-judgemental way: not answering texts while driving should be the norm. It's not possible to operate a vehicle in motion and text simultaneously in a safe manner.

> "It's not possible to operate a vehicle in motion and text simultaneously in a safe manner." This statement has been proven true by multiple studies now, many of them coming to the conclusion that texting while driving can be as dangerous or more dangerous than driving drunk.

But disproven by my 20-ish years of safely texting while driving. You have to be smart about it but it can be done safely.
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