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Why women in tech are so angry all the time

mashable.com

51–60 of 88 posts

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#51
I do apologize. People, including me, don’t go spend their lives talking to computers because they are great at talking to people. I’m bad at reading social context, probably on the autism spectrum and many of my colleagues over the last 30 years have been like me. There’s a high chance I’ve expressed what’s called a microagression in the post without intending to so. I can’t tell. I often can’t even tell I offended someone completely unintentionally. I’m a difficult person to be around, there many others like me. And I can’t get better although I have learned to keep myself away from people and be very careful about any interaction, I’m not remotely “normal”.

So maybe it just helps talking to people? There appear to be many jerks around, sure. But I’m willing to bet many of these microagressions are simply a result of social ineptitude. If someone told me I stepped on their toes (some have), I can be more careful around them and assure them of no bad intentions.

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#52
post #44
post #42

Every comment so far has been downvoted, I have some internet points to spend. > My first thought was someone had mailed me anthrax. That's your first thought? The harassment later described sounds insane - if you are receiving death threats call the police, open a case. It'll strengthen your position if you later need to go to court. What you don't do is post about it online, to let your attacker know they were succ…

How do you think it would go showing anonymous death threats to the police? I can tell you because we’ve tried! Not well. They laugh you out of the station. You think giving advice to “not doxx yourself” is useful advice? It is not. We are hyper aware of our safety and still have to be afraid of unknown creeps - anonymous trolls who we can’t “do something about”. “I hope instead of trying to find sexism in tech indus…

> How do you think it would go showing anonymous death threats to the police? I can tell you because we’ve tried! Not well. They laugh you out of the station.

There's several reasons for reporting anonymous death threats (even if I find it weird that police would openly laugh in your face):

1. If you need to make a case in the future you have documented evidence. You can bring a police report to court.

2. When statistics are being crunched on such things, having the reports on record help identify a problem.

> You think giving advice to “not doxx yourself” is useful advice? It is not. We are hyper aware of our safety and still have to be afraid of unknown creeps - anonymous trolls who we can’t “do something about”.

She is publishing under her real name - if death threats are a serious threat, use a pseudo name. I understand the "she shouldn't have to" argument, and in a perfect society no crimes would ever be committed - but unfortunately humans are not perfect and we must compromise our ideology in favour of realism.

> You can’t go 1 week without hearing about sexism in our industry.

You can't go a day without hearing about murder either, but I don't go hunting it out in the news or writing about it. I pick and choose my battles for my own mental health.

I'm not denying sexism in the workplace is a real problem, I'm just suggesting that the author has over burdened herself with a large problem she has little control over, and it's made her unhappy. She sounds as if she genuinely believes somebody will send her anthrax through the post - do you really believe that is a real possibility or do you think her battle with sexism in the workplace has gone slightly off the rails?

> Being in denial about it because it doesn’t impact you personally is a predictable and weak move.

I'm not denying it's a problem and I haven't suggested that it doesn't impact me personally - you just made these assumptions. It's also not denial to not stress about every problem that impacts you personally.

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#53
post #42

Every comment so far has been downvoted, I have some internet points to spend. > My first thought was someone had mailed me anthrax. That's your first thought? The harassment later described sounds insane - if you are receiving death threats call the police, open a case. It'll strengthen your position if you later need to go to court. What you don't do is post about it online, to let your attacker know they were succ…

Looks like you're the prototype of the spoiled brat that populates the male part of the tech industry. You think when you're able to solve a technical problem, you're able to solve every problem. That's the common combination of arrogance & ignorance so many other dudes are sporting. It got boring long ago.

> Looks like you're the prototype of the spoiled brat that populates the male part of the tech industry.

If you claim it to be true, it must be. There's no possible way your world view could be wrong.

> You think when you're able to solve a technical problem, you're able to solve every problem.

Are there any other thoughts you can tell me I hold? There's no need for me to actually express an opinion given you already know how I think.

> That's the common combination of arrogance & ignorance so many other dudes are sporting.

Arrogance would perhaps be assuming you can determine who I am by hearing just one opinion I hold. As somebody once said: 'It got boring long ago.'

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#54
Let me start by saying that I've seen some really horrible and disgusting treatment of women compared to men. At one place. Out of 10.

At least around here I also see that if two persons, one woman and one man, apply for the same position, and they are seen as exactly equally qualified, the woman gets hired first.

Why? Because amount of women in the department is a KPI.

I also see men walking circles around these issues, taking quite a lot more stupidity from a girl than from a man. I tried to wait a few weeks with one particular know-it-all that was a master in my field (or so she behaved) after 18 months of work.

There are many brilliant women in tech, and then there is those that get paid as dev evangelist and get people booted from PyCon after listening in to someone elses conversation for something far less insulting then whatever she herself had posted publicly on Twitter short time before.

I think the actual women in tech would do well to stand up to these who abuse it.

And if you live in the Nordics at least and experience actual discrimination, look for a new job.

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#55
post #52
post #44

Earlier quoted context omitted.

How do you think it would go showing anonymous death threats to the police? I can tell you because we’ve tried! Not well. They laugh you out of the station. You think giving advice to “not doxx yourself” is useful advice? It is not. We are hyper aware of our safety and still have to be afraid of unknown creeps - anonymous trolls who we can’t “do something about”. “I hope instead of trying to find sexism in tech indus…

> How do you think it would go showing anonymous death threats to the police? I can tell you because we’ve tried! Not well. They laugh you out of the station. There's several reasons for reporting anonymous death threats (even if I find it weird that police would openly laugh in your face): 1. If you need to make a case in the future you have documented evidence. You can bring a police report to court. 2. When statis…

She is publishing under her real name

You are responding to her yet you use the 3rd person. You meant to write:

“You are publishing under your real name”

This is a complicated use of first person and third person:

She sounds as if she genuinely believes somebody will send her anthrax through the post - do you really believe that is a real possibility or do you think her battle with sexism in the workplace has gone slightly off the rails?

You meant to write:

“You sound as if you genuinely believe somebody will send you anthrax through the post - do you really believe that is a real possibility or do you think your battle with sexism in the workplace has gone slightly off the rails?”

Since she wrote it, she probably does believe it.

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#56
post #14

Here's the problem. Not one of these tips is "work hard and try be a the best at what you do." Instead, she leads with tips on how to be a proactive bridge-burner. Death threats, discrimination, etc. are obviously insane, but a lot of this frustration is self-induced. > Call out bad behavior you see or hear about, even when it’s uncomfortable. > Help to report offenders. > Give credit to and call out great work you s…

The issue here is it's asking women to be activists. Few companies want activists. Most companies want to achieve fairness and equal opportunity, but they also do not like agitators (because one can never have control over agitators, you never can know their next target, so to be safe, most companies tend to not want them around). It's the same conundrum with double agents. You agree with them helping your intelligen…

I hire teams and I absolutely encourage everyone to snitch if they see bad behavior. I will not tolerate abuse on a team I manage. Anyone who works for me is well aware they should snitch if they see bad behavior. Sunlight is the best disinfectant.

Re: Why women in tech are so angry all the time

#57
post #42

Every comment so far has been downvoted, I have some internet points to spend. > My first thought was someone had mailed me anthrax. That's your first thought? The harassment later described sounds insane - if you are receiving death threats call the police, open a case. It'll strengthen your position if you later need to go to court. What you don't do is post about it online, to let your attacker know they were succ…

This response is 100% victim blaming. There is not a single recognition. No single question. No empathy. It is 100% "it is your fault" and "it is because of your own choices and actions".

bArray - you are the problem here.

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