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America's “Friendscape” Crisis

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Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#71

The article cites research that shows that the percentage of Americans with 10+ close friends have dropped from 33 to 13 percent since 1990. I wonder how much of that can be attributed to a change is what is considered a close friend? Just keeping in touch with other people used to be much more difficult and I wonder if the proliferation of cell phones and then smartphones has raised the bar. I wonder if friendship c…

My guess would be that the super-mobility of people is the difference.

When I was in high school, I had over 30 friends who I was close with- we had classes together during the day, sports practices together in the evening, and spent our weekends together at the same social gathers.

Then we all scattered for college, and social networks broke down as each of us individually were now nodes on separate, non-connected groups. We had our "college friends" and our "high school friends" who mostly didn't know one another or interact.

Then we all scattered again for jobs after college and our friendships became increasingly strained, difficult and disconnected. Our high school best friend was a thousand miles away and living a very different life now. Our college friends only got together as a group at weddings and bachelor parties. Our new 20-something friend groups were constantly in flux as people got into serious relationships, focused on careers or moved around.

If I'd grown up in the 1950s and stayed in my hometown after high school along with all my friends, I'd have a rich, deep history with 30+ friends. Instead, I have 100 people who I was close to for a few years at a time but who I'm only presently close with a few.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#72
> "...loneliness wasn’t necessarily from being alone. In fact, it was often a feeling of alienation while in the presence of other people."

So true. With the political polarization so common now, you can become isolated and then alienated quite easily.

I'd add that being a man, especially if married, as you age your social circle radically declines. Getting divorced radically improved that for me. And I'm not even talking about the opposite sex - I have more guy friends now that 10, 20 years ago. There's a space that NO wife or GF can ever fill...

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#73

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Do people on both sides of parasocial relationships feel seen and understood? I thought the definition there was people that gave attention to someone that doesn't return it?

My perception is that people on the 'consumer' side of parasocial relationships do feel understood, and that that feeling is their main motivation for taking part in the relationship. The feeling is no less real for being the product of automated market research and micro-targeting, instead of personal intimacy.

It's often a "marketing" distinction for some of the parasocial relationships how well those "providers" are seen at "responding to their community" and the "outlets for community engagement". It's also how many of those providers make large amounts of their revenue with "paid engagement activities" such as "shout-outs" or an illusion of affecting behavior ("I'll play the game you want me to play if you pay enough" or "On drunk nights enough micro-currency forces me to take a shot or do something embarrassing" or a wide creative range of other ideas).

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#74
post #58

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think parasocial relationships have mostly been an attempt to fill the gap left by the lack of real friendships.

Much like junk food being a substitute for a lack of real nutrition, what happens when the desire for real nutrition atrophies?

Some people just accept this attempted solution isn't going to fill the hole properly and stick with it anyways.

Others may get frustrated enough to make an attempt to fix the problem for real, only to re-remember how much harder that is in our current society and re-remember why they reached for this attempted solution in the first place.

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#75
post #70

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I'm scratching my head, because this sounds like the Republican talking points from a few years ago about why we must "repeal and replace" the ACA. But you're not mentioning the ACA or any right wing key words/phrases, so I'm confused what your message (what action should be prescribed) and target audience are. If holding on to your job is totally a matter of life and death today, that seems like a really clear and c…

Obamacare drastically raised insurance costs

How can you tell? What are you comparing? Are you sure you mean costs and not premiums?

Re: America's “Friendscape” Crisis

#76

Earlier quoted context omitted.

https://jwmason.org/slackwire/at-jacobin-the-fed-doesnt-work... well start with those side effects: inflation is kept in check by beating back workers whenever they get to powerful. Then take into account how lousy growth has been since the 1970s when they started doing that. If we could have had depressions but more amortized growth, and not "jobless recoveries" and anemic amortized growth, would that have been wors…

That's why they changed the inflation target. If your goal is 2% then you have to raise rates before you even hit 2% nipping full employment in the bud. If you target an average rate of 2% then having a year with 5% and four with less than 2% lets you balance things out. Edit: I read the article and it basically boils down to rich people benefiting from low inflation because it doesn't erode their deposits and makes…

http://jwmason.org/slackwire/alternative-visions-of-inflatio... this one is fresh off the presses and gets deeper into the issues.
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