Earlier quoted context omitted.
While I believe that entanglement is genuinely something new and interesting, your explanation of it simply feels like a semantic difference. There is no way in which the universe you describe would be different from a classical universe, at least up to the limits of your description. I'm simply "not allowed" to say that one of the balls is red and the other is blue, before I've looked? It's just, what, against the l…
Isn't this distinction exactly what the article is about? By saying ahead of time, "one ball is red, the other is blue", you're describing a hidden-variables theory of entanglement. It may be unknowable (before measurement) which color the ball in your left hand is, but it has a color. But Bell's theorem provides a very measureable counterexample to this type of explanation of entanglement. Sure, in the article they…
No, consider the case of neutral pion decay, which emits one spin up electron and one spin down electron. We can clearly say ahead of time one electron will be spin up, and the other will be spin down. But there is no hidden variable that determines which.
If there were a hidden variable, then knowledge of that hidden variable would let you predict which electron is spin up (which ball was red). In the macroscopic world, the hidden variable might be the state of my brain when it chose which hand to grab which ball. But if you replaced me with a robot, and that robot used the measurement of a quantum event (such as an electron's spin) to determine which ball to choose, then there is no hidden variable.