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Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

checkyourlist.app

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Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#101

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Framing the situtation in the way the GP framed it is completely within their control. They have placed all the responsibility for their reaction on the child. Instead of seeking to improve their listening. They expect the child to change.

I never stated my reaction. People are clearly hyper sensitive about a phrase I used. Yes, as a well intended parent, I am looking for guidance to improve a child.

One thing you could try if you haven't yet is share your issue with your son and try negotiating a set of rules that could be okay for both of you.

There are two prerequisites. First, you did not mention how old he is but I can only hope he is older than six-seven years. A younger child has close to no chance understanding that you might see the world differently than him.

After five years, children's cognitive capabilities typically reach a maturity level that allows them to understand false beliefs, aka the concept that person X could experience the world differently than person Y (if you are interested in developmental psychology, look for the "sally-anne test"). Without this cognitive capability, your only option is to be patient, give him as much love as you can, and take time for you when you feel you are becoming overwhelmed.

The second prerequisite is to "reach" your son at a moment he can mentally ingest this information and is not solely focused on satisfying his needs. Typically, you should not try entering this negotiation during or right after a "talkative episode." Something in the likes of: "Daddy needs to have a conversation with you, but you will need to sit a listen to what I say for some time. I understand you have many questions to ask so I will let you tell me when it is a good time to have this discussion."

When you have this discussion, I would recommend using a negotiated problem solving scheme:

1. "I would like to share something I feel about us, are you okay with that?"

2. "When you do X, I feel Y and Z. It is doing that and this, and it is very difficult for me. Sometimes this makes me do X and Y, and I don't like to do this and I am also quite sure you don't like when I do that. Do you agree? Do you feel these moments?"

3. "I would like us to find a set of rules we can follow to avoid overwhelming each other. I don't want you to stop asking me questions at all, this is not what I am asking. I love you very much and sometimes I am worried that when I am tired or stressed I could not give you all my attention. Do you have any ideas how we could do that together?"

4. "How should I let you know I need some recharge myself?" 5. "How should you let me know you feel the need to share things with me?" etc.

Of course, chances that this will work the first time are close to zero, so adapt your hopes. You are the adult, the responsibility falls upon you to find the patience and dedication to bring you both to a better place. Also, aim low during your negotiation: remember that your objective is to make things better, not perfect, and advancing one step is always better than nothing.

Like someone recommended above, your son might need professional help but don't underestimate the fact that you need help, too and probably more than he needs help. A child usually needs parents to show him/her unconditional love and to show up, not much more. It is very likely that you are being challenged to find resources deep in yourself that you may not know how to reach. If you are not feeling actively supported by your closer ones (e.g. spouse, friends), I would advise seeking support from a professional or a local support group. You need to be at your 100% when you are with your son and it is your responsibility to take the necessary steps to achieve this state of mind.

Anyway, I root for you and the simple fact that you shared your experience already shows you are doing the extra mile to find answers. I am convinced you will find them, good luck :)

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#102

The concept looks similar to that of the various "streaks" apps. The idea of these apps is, that you create a repeating task and check it off regularly. If you do, you keep your streak, if you fail, you lose it and have to start again. The idea of just repeating tasks - minus streaks - is something I see for the first time here. I personally find the motivation to extend a streak very useful, but maybe the positive r…

The thing I hate about emphasizing streaks is that once you've broken one, it's easier to ignore the thing entirely than starting again.

That much is true, and I find they can build up a lot of psychological pressure if you take them seriously. They are certainly not suitable for everyone and in every situation.

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#103
post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes. The reason I built an iOS app was it is the simplest way to get an app live, if the app gains traction I can definitely expand its availability in the future. Problem with web apps is I often end up with decision fatigue over picking platforms ect. A native app I could just jump in and build.

First thing I did was check the privacy policy and then come here to talk about it. Saw your other comment regarding the privacy policy needing a lot of rework and that’s it’s all local and I went back to download it. I was fine trusting that comment. — Personally, I would not use this app if it needed an account or server. I’m sorry. I don’t know you and the privacy policy things are too broad. I’m very conflicted n…

So I don't actually have a server behind the app at all, no account is needed besides your default iCloud account using apples core data to persist data offline on your device (you don't need to provide credentials as everything is managed by Apple and never goes to me.). I don't collect any crash data at all. I also won't be tracking anything in the app itself.

I'm going to add a section above the privacy policy with a bit of this info whilst I work on writing a better one.

I may build a web version in the future, however it will be opt in only if you have signed up via an iCloud method. I believe it is actually possible to use iCloud on the web, as apple do have a Javascript API, however I have not looked into this in detail.

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#105
post #92

Earlier quoted context omitted.

First thing I did was check the privacy policy and then come here to talk about it. Saw your other comment regarding the privacy policy needing a lot of rework and that’s it’s all local and I went back to download it. I was fine trusting that comment. — Personally, I would not use this app if it needed an account or server. I’m sorry. I don’t know you and the privacy policy things are too broad. I’m very conflicted n…

So I don't actually have a server behind the app at all, no account is needed besides your default iCloud account using apples core data to persist data offline on your device (you don't need to provide credentials as everything is managed by Apple and never goes to me.). I don't collect any crash data at all. I also won't be tracking anything in the app itself. I'm going to add a section above the privacy policy wit…

Okay, thank you.

I know it was a bit of a rant.

Opt-in would work! I’ll share the link. I have a few people I think would like it.

Appreciate you replying.

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#106
post #91

Hey Spencer, thanks for building this. I'll try it out - I identify quite a lot with your description/motivation of why you build this. I noticed one (small) problem with the website: The newsletter signup button does not work. It looks like you are missing the gatsby-plugin-mailchimp (based on the console error). Good luck to you!

Thanks for pointing that out! An issue with my Gatsby config. I just resolved it and it should work now

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#107
post #99

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> And “shutting them the hell up” is working against that. It’s fewer words than saying helping to foster increased listening and learning capabilities , but is effectively the same thing. As a parent you want to have deeper and meaningful conversations that allow for instruction, guidance, and mentoring. These things cannot happen if there is a clinical mental illness in the way.

> As a parent you want to have deeper and meaningful conversations that allow for instruction, guidance, and mentoring. These things cannot happen if there is a clinical mental illness in the way. If we are talking about ADHD, this is bullshit. As someone that wasn’t medicated as a kid and had a lot of meaningful conversations, had mentors, learnt, went to college, built a career, screw your attitude. If we are talki…

I suspect you were not a foster child with years of neglect.

> you also need to learn how to work with them.

That’s why I asked the question.

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#108

Hi Guys, I'm Spencer and recently built CheckYourList to help with my ADHD. The app lets you create repeatable checklists. It's great for packing lists, daily routines, cleaning lists and things that you need to take with you constantly. The reason it is different to apps like Apple reminders is once you complete a checklist you can uncheck every item so it is ready to go next time. I built the app because I found my…

I just recently released my first iOS app written in SwiftUI and HackingWithSwift was such a lifesaver. Glad to see others find it as valuable as I did. Great job on this app. My son has ADHD and struggles mightily with repeating tasks each day. Downloading it on his iPad to see if it helps!

Its definitely the best resource out there! Just a heads up re iPad, some people have been reporting issues with the iPad version. I'll be working on the iPad compatibility soon to ensure it all works.

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#109
I’m excited to try this! First feedback after installing: I don’t think the app integrates properly with iOS “dark mode” theme; I am finding some text entry boxes show a white text on white background, so I can’t effectively use the app yet.

Re: Show HN: I built an app to create repeatable checklists to help with ADHD

#110
post #27

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Coping with a hyperactive child can be tough, but foremost you need to do your best to understand them and meet their needs. And “shutting them the hell up” is working against that. Truly, the best route here is probably to find another caretaker who is willing to take the time to help this child… Anecdotally, I had similar troubles as a kid and after a battery of evaluations they found I had slightly diminished verb…

> And “shutting them the hell up” is working against that. It’s fewer words than saying helping to foster increased listening and learning capabilities , but is effectively the same thing. As a parent you want to have deeper and meaningful conversations that allow for instruction, guidance, and mentoring. These things cannot happen if there is a clinical mental illness in the way.

I read that and gave you the benefit of the doubt that brevity was your intent more than expressing frustration:) I can imagine how difficult it must be to want to help someone who can’t help themselves but has nobody else…

While I have many ideas about how we got through my childhood, I think any meaningful plan will have to suit your kid so general suggestions are probably hit or miss at best. This is why I suggested a caretaker but I guess I really meant “a specialist”.

I’ll just say this, to offer some insight… ADHD is not just losing track of the external world- it is a loss of your own internal world. It’s like someone is always tugging your instruction pointer away from your stack. This is suffering.

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