The vital art of talking to strangers • Hacker News Board

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#31

Post by stolenmerch » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:09 PM UTC

deregulateMed wrote: post #21

munificent wrote: post #15

I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.

That sounds like fun. Although I hope you are ready to meet lots of Christians and a few alcoholics every year. Just remember that the 90% doesn't like talking about their jobs. Hope you know the latest sportsball news... That being said, there's usually other commonalities to discuss.

Depends on if this proposed program is voluntary or involuntary. I suspect the folks to self-select to sit down with a random family to cook and share a meal may not identify with the demographics you point out.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#32

Post by webo » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:10 PM UTC

Moodles wrote: post #18

For awhile Sweden had Call a Random Swede https://www.theswedishnumber.com/ where if you called the number, you would literally be paired with a random Swede to talk about whatever you want.

Is that much different than chat rooms or Omegle?

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#33

Post by taeric » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:11 PM UTC

renewiltord wrote: post #10

Perhaps the problem with social media is that it’s not social. It’s actually oratorical media. In a physically social setting, people do the thing the article quotes: they recognize that interaction with diametrically opposing viewpoints is possible if they exercise tact to eschew controversy until having built common ground. That isn’t possible at scale because there is no common ground at scale. And online, everyth…

I would love to read more in this vein. I've complained that so much of Twitter is talking to the crowd by nature of yelling at people. I did not know the term oratorical.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#34

Post by galfarragem » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:22 PM UTC

munificent wrote: post #15

I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#35

Post by holdenc » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:24 PM UTC

jcims wrote: post #17

renewiltord wrote: post #10

Perhaps the problem with social media is that it’s not social. It’s actually oratorical media. In a physically social setting, people do the thing the article quotes: they recognize that interaction with diametrically opposing viewpoints is possible if they exercise tact to eschew controversy until having built common ground. That isn’t possible at scale because there is no common ground at scale. And online, everyth…

Totally agree. Even without the opposition, there's a similar issue about having vulnerable conversations. I had a buddy over last night and he relayed an experience he had in NYC a few weeks ago. He was at a bar and saw this guy that just looked like he was in a bad place. He debated for a while whether or not to say anything but ultimately decided to break the ice and offer him a drink. The guy said he had to pace…

Brilliant story. This is the NYC that I remember.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#36

Post by babblingdweeb » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:28 PM UTC

munificent wrote: post #15

I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.

This is wonderful. I have been studying communities and food as a way to rebuild trust...this sums it all up nicely. I have been looking to start up a local "potluck" type idea --note: not my idea, many people do this already.

I just thought a little rough organizing might be nice.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#37

Post by mudita » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:28 PM UTC

Moodles wrote: post #18

For awhile Sweden had Call a Random Swede https://www.theswedishnumber.com/ where if you called the number, you would literally be paired with a random Swede to talk about whatever you want.

Here they call the number in the British television show QI: https://youtu.be/zUrYRdIxYp8

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#38

Post by abhiminator » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:29 PM UTC

jcims wrote: post #17

renewiltord wrote: post #10

Perhaps the problem with social media is that it’s not social. It’s actually oratorical media. In a physically social setting, people do the thing the article quotes: they recognize that interaction with diametrically opposing viewpoints is possible if they exercise tact to eschew controversy until having built common ground. That isn’t possible at scale because there is no common ground at scale. And online, everyth…

Totally agree. Even without the opposition, there's a similar issue about having vulnerable conversations. I had a buddy over last night and he relayed an experience he had in NYC a few weeks ago. He was at a bar and saw this guy that just looked like he was in a bad place. He debated for a while whether or not to say anything but ultimately decided to break the ice and offer him a drink. The guy said he had to pace…

Beautiful story. Please pass on my gratitude to your lawyer buddy for making that stranger's life better. Gosh, HN can be wonderfully soothing sometimes! :)

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#39

Post by verall » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:29 PM UTC

deregulateMed wrote: post #26

KittenInABox wrote: post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> They do comic books, they are clearly hedonists Are comics significantly more hedonistic than other media? (I'm genuinely asking; I've never been interested in comics but I've also never heard that they were all that different from other entertainment media.)

It could be argued that HN, news, and Reddit are less hedonist because they provide education. Although, my long term plan is to eliminate those in favor of non fiction books and personal projects. The best "pro comic book" argument I've heard is that science fiction can help you consider potential futures of humanity. This can reduce being surprised by biotechnology and AI events. This could help humanity vote bette…

It could be argued, but I think its a pretty weak argument.

HN, Reddit, news, comics, manga, TV: its all a dopamine drip. The specifics can be impactful: a movie that changes your perspective, a great article on HN that helps you accomplish a goal better/faster/stronger. But usually you are just slamming your preferred dopamine drip. SciFi books or comics don't "help humanity vote better", they are enjoyed, the same way some people enjoy reading Reddit and HN.

Re: The vital art of talking to strangers

#40

Post by mc32 » Wed, Jul 14, 2021, 4:33 PM UTC

munificent wrote: post #15

I have a hypothesis that almost all of the US's current cultural problems would be solved if once a month we all cooked and shared a meal with another randomly chosen family.

This already assumes people are good and get along and are high trust.

What if I’m in a crew am a nice talker and get to scope things out for my crew as we chit chat?

It’s the same thing that did in the lonely hearts clubs. Swindlers came in to the rescue and take advantage of a lonely set of people. In this case people who are open and inviting and trusting of random strangers.