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Yeah, talking to strangers is not a thing in my country. Can't say I care for it.
What country is this and how do you ever meet new people?
Are you saying people in your country don't meet strangers at bars, parties, through participation in sports, at dance clubs, or special interest clubs?
Also, while you say you don't care for it, you do realize that you're talking to strangers right now, don't you?
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Even if you're just reading the comments, you're listening to what strangers have to say
Yeah, talking to strangers is not a thing in my country. Can't say I care for it.
"talking to strangers is not a thing in my country. Can't say I care for it." What country is this and how do you ever meet new people? Are you saying people in your country don't meet strangers at bars, parties, through participation in sports, at dance clubs, or special interest clubs? Also, while you say you don't care for it, you do realize that you're talking to strangers right now, don't you?
Perhaps the problem with social media is that it’s not social. It’s actually oratorical media. In a physically social setting, people do the thing the article quotes: they recognize that interaction with diametrically opposing viewpoints is possible if they exercise tact to eschew controversy until having built common ground. That isn’t possible at scale because there is no common ground at scale. And online, everyth…
Even without the opposition, there's a similar issue about having vulnerable conversations. I had a buddy over last night and he relayed an experience he had in NYC a few weeks ago. He was at a bar and saw this guy that just looked like he was in a bad place. He debated for a while whether or not to say anything but ultimately decided to break the ice and offer him a drink. The guy said he had to pace himself b/c he was going to be there a while. My buddy's intuition was that this guy was close to walking in front of a subway train, so he said something along the lines of 'hey I'm happy to give you your privacy but I guarantee I'm a great listener'. The guy then proceeds to say that he and his oldest son were what he called 'vocal twins'. They sounded identical to each other in timbre and phrasing and mannerisms and everything. Well, six weeks prior, his son committed suicide while away at school. Obviously devastating to him and his wife, but eventually life has to start to resume. The guy was just getting started back at work and was on a call. Meanwhile his wife had just arrived home from grocery shopping, and upon hearing him on the phone immediately starting screaming and running into the room thinking her boy was back.
Talking it through, this guy and his wife decided that he would leave for a bit...but he wasn't sure how to know when it was ok to go back if his voice was going to trigger her that much. After that, my buddy and this guy proceeded to talk for another two hours about kids and life and work and I can't imagine the guy felt worse after.
My buddy is a natural extrovert and 20 years of being a lawyer in NYC has tuned his social instrument to a level that's rather magnificent to behold. If you tried to repeat this scenario on Twitter or in a subreddit or here on HN, all of the non-verbal cues that started and sustained the (IMHO very intimate and vulnerable) conversation would be completely absent.
You can say you don't enjoy interacting with strangers, but I realize you should realize that you're taking the time to comment on an anonymous social platform. Even if you're just reading the comments, you're listening to what strangers have to say
Plus, I have no problem talking with programmers about their jobs and hobbies.
Compare that to talking to a program manager who's hobbies are comic book related... I'm not sure what to talk about with them... Maybe virtue vs hedonist philosophy? (They do comic books, they are clearly hedonists)
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Haha this is totally just social anxiety. Both ends actually. The belief that the girl next to you on the train is thinking you’re cute and ignoring her and the belief that she’s gonna react like that. A real version of that comic would probably have her thought bubble be like “I hope the meeting at five doesn’t run over. I’ve got to go pick up that camera lens from Best Buy. And what’s traffic going to be like. Shou…
I'm trying to get smarter about reading social signals, but for now I just try to make sure not to corner people. I will not attempt to interact with you unless I can see that you have an easy way to get away from the interaction.
Are there classes or something available for people who know they're lacking in social skills and want to get better?