A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
theatlantic.com
A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
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Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#2The world became big and complicated while the older generation was already fat on their success. It's very hard for a 55 year old manager of a small town bank to understand his daughter literally will not have the same opportunities he had as globalization eats all of the small town opportunities.
She'll almost certainly have to move to a city and probably utilize computers all day, get a serious education in an engineering field. The fact that the parent was so absorbed in their own life this doesn't occur to them until literally their child exiles them from their life for being toxic is just wild.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#3The world became big and complicated while the older generation was already fat on their success. It's very hard for a 55 year old manager of a small town bank to understand his daughter literally will not have the same opportunities he had as globalization eats all of the small town opportunities. She'll almost certainly have to move to a city and probably utilize computers all day, get a serious education in an eng…
I feel like you skipped a step here. Why would needing to move to a city and use computers cause "toxic" behavior?
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#4If find it interesting that divorce is not mentioned. The 70 year olds today are the first major wave of divorce.
It’s hard hear an older generation talk about duty and responsibility now, when 40 years ago they divorced to have a happier life.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#5If find it interesting that divorce is not mentioned. The 70 year olds today are the first major wave of divorce. It’s hard hear an older generation talk about duty and responsibility now, when 40 years ago they divorced to have a happier life.
It is. There are several paragraphs on the effect of divorce on estrangement.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#6The world became big and complicated while the older generation was already fat on their success. It's very hard for a 55 year old manager of a small town bank to understand his daughter literally will not have the same opportunities he had as globalization eats all of the small town opportunities. She'll almost certainly have to move to a city and probably utilize computers all day, get a serious education in an eng…
I feel like you skipped a step here. Why would needing to move to a city and use computers cause "toxic" behavior?
I think they mean the parents behave in a toxic way.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#7The world became big and complicated while the older generation was already fat on their success. It's very hard for a 55 year old manager of a small town bank to understand his daughter literally will not have the same opportunities he had as globalization eats all of the small town opportunities. She'll almost certainly have to move to a city and probably utilize computers all day, get a serious education in an eng…
I feel like you skipped a step here. Why would needing to move to a city and use computers cause "toxic" behavior?
They were referring to the parents being toxic, not the child.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#8As someone that was raised in a highly religious home, I have to wonder how much of estrangement has to do with the younger generation's abandonment of religion.
Go to nearly any church and you'll see the primary demographic is older individuals. In my younger days, it was quite a bit more even.
Millennials and Gen Z have dumped religion and with it a lot of the social norms. For example, homosexuality. Most Millennials and Gen Z have no problem with someone being gay. It's socially acceptable. Yet just a couple of decades ago one of the hardest hitting insults you could throw at someone was suggesting they weren't straight.
I wish more authors/researchers would explore this.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#9The world became big and complicated while the older generation was already fat on their success. It's very hard for a 55 year old manager of a small town bank to understand his daughter literally will not have the same opportunities he had as globalization eats all of the small town opportunities. She'll almost certainly have to move to a city and probably utilize computers all day, get a serious education in an eng…
People with different values and living situations can understand each other if they want to. It is factually true that after the age of majority, family relationships technically become optional. Burning bridges for petty reasons or annoyances would be a terrible idea: there's no one like family.
I've befriended a few sane, educated, elderly homeless people.
Turning your back on your parents if they haven't done anything "wrong" would be coldly, cruelly throwing them away like garbage. That's what happened in Korea and the suicide rates are awful. It's disgusting and embarrassing.
In my case, I haven't talked to my father in 25 years because he is very much a petty, unstable, irrational, unforgiving, un-empathetic, pathetic, unreasonable, hateful, venomous narcissist no one likes, my mother escaped, and he browbeat his late parents to take all of their money when my mother (their nearly adopted daughter/daugther-in-law) needed it more. If it weren't for the terrible way he treated people and the terrible things he's done (like molest my cousin), I would at least still want to know him.
I'm close to my mom.
Re: A shift in American family values is fueling estrangement
#10If find it interesting that divorce is not mentioned. The 70 year olds today are the first major wave of divorce. It’s hard hear an older generation talk about duty and responsibility now, when 40 years ago they divorced to have a happier life.
but it is mentioned, more then once. And it does increase the risk of estrangement, which you would expect. Whatever. One way ore another, once we grow old we become more dependent, physically and psychologically. Finally, we die. This last step we make alone no matter what happened before