Ask HN: Words of encouragement for someone lost in life?

So true. And true of FB, Twitter, etc.

I’ll start by assuming you’re in a first world country as Tinder is a first world dating app.

Drop tinder immediately and forget about dating women from your country. Something happened over the past 50 or so years and first world women’s standards have become unrealistically high. Maybe it was social media, or dating apps, who knows, but the fact is, the majority of them have adopted this “impress me” attitude where they view themselves as a prize, and they expect you to bring everything to the table. Dating them is no longer worth it, and they’re all pining after the top 10% of guys anyway.

But I’m not saying you need to go full MGTOW.

Instead, find a sincere woman from overseas who will appreciate you more than a first world woman ever could, bring her to your country, and marry her. You will both be happy.

I know someone who did this, and they are a very happy and successful couple.

Find a woman who will appreciate the love you have to give.

I hope you won't. People in my family have a lot of mental health problems, including depression, suicide attempts and involuntary commitment to the hospital. When this is happening, you brain is broken. It's lying to you, telling you that it can never get better. But it can get better.

I debated dropping out of school when I was 20 or so -- I felt like a failure academically, and like I couldn't cut it. Luckily, my program's director encouraged me and persuaded me to stick with it. But at the time, I was 100% convinced I was garbage. My brain was lying to me. I can see that now.

There's no sure-fire solution. For some people, therapy helps. For others, medication. For others, exercise. For others, huge lifestyle changes. I don't know how to help you, and I don't know that it will be easy or without relapses. I just know that you deserve the chance to be happy. My email's in my bio if you want to talk.

You are 23 and unmarried, presumably without chilren. That is very young and very free. That doesn't mean you don't have real problems, but it means you have lots of options to change. You can steer your life in any direction you want at this point.

If you're not homeless or incarcerated, you're definitely not a "complete failure in life."

You probably aren't lost, just listless. Satisfaction in life comes from picking a direction and pursuing it, whether it is a career, a family, an art, or something else. It can be hard to figure out what that is, because the options are overwhelming.

I'd recommend putting your efforts towards figuring out what you want to do with your life, and then start down that path. Once you're making some progress and are in a better mental state, then tackle the online dating game (or maybe you'll happen to find someone along the way).