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Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

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Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#371

Post by borski »

slingnow wrote: post #362
borski wrote: post #199

Earlier quoted context omitted.

It's not about not getting excited; it's about literally being unable to. Someone with ADHD can sit there and really mean to get excited, and yell at themselves to, and they simply can't do it; their brain won't let them. Someone neurotypical can usually convince themselves to at least do it, and "will" themselves into it. But you're somewhat right, and this is why getting a real diagnosis from a professional is so i…

In what way is yelling at yourself to get excited going to work? How can you _really mean_ to get excited? Who on earth is in such masterful control of their emotional state that they can do this? I personally think that we've taken something completely normal and turned it into a "disorder" simply because it goes against the societal norm of sitting quietly at a desk for 8 hours a day.

It's hard to describe, but it isn't just about work or not being able to sit for 8 hours at a desk. It pervades the rest of your life; often, even things you want to be doing, you simply cannot get started on, because your brain is filled with distractions and you do not have the executive function to be able to stop it.

It is a syndrome rooted in physical causes, but one we don't yet fully understand.

The research is very clear though: our brains are simply different.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#372

Post by [deleted] »

borski wrote: post #360
tailspin2019 wrote: post #356

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes the deadlock phase is front of mind for me right now because I’ve been in it for a couple of weeks. But you’re right that the “neglect phase” accounts for the vast majority of time. And when I’m in that, I forget all about the existence of the “deadlock phase” even though I’ll be hurtling towards another one. Good to know that this self-destructive behaviour is common at least :)

Both of your accounts match my experience, even down to the forgetting. ADHD people are generally bad at self-reflection, and I know I definitely am, despite having gotten better at it over the years. I’m so happy to see this discussion happening on HN

[deleted]

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#373

Post by robocat »

borski wrote: post #361
robocat wrote: post #306

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> No, because OCD is caused by underlying physical problems with the brain that cause very specific symptoms that interfere greatly with your life. OCD is merely a label for a cluster of symptoms. It says nothing about the cause. The same can be said for the majority of psychiatric diagnoses afaik. E.g. “Doctors aren’t sure why some people have OCD.” - https://www.webmd.com/mental-health/obsessive-compulsive-dis... E…

While we don’t know the exact cause of OCD or ADHD, physically, we do have research that describes correlations. Particularly for ADHD, we know certain areas of the brain that control executive function are generally smaller in people with ADHD. We also know that they generally have lower levels of certain brain chemicals, and we have learned far more about it through radioactive isotope examination of the brain as w…

> Just because we don’t know the precise cause doesn’t mean we cannot, in the meantime, help alleviate the symptoms for someone suffering from the syndrome (since we don’t know the precise cause).

I didn’t imply anything contrary to that.

> Please don’t get in the way of this by implying people are “making it up,” because, simply, they are not. Both of these are extremely well studied syndromes, but really only in the last few decades.

I didn’t imply people are making it up.

HN guidelines are “Please respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of what someone says, not a weaker one that's easier to criticize. Assume good faith.”.

I understand that you find it natural to jump to conclusions about what others think, but it really damages good discussion.

> correlations

Exactly - for many psychiatric symptoms the causes are not actually known -instead we just measure a bunch of complicated things and try to read the tea leaves.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#374

Post by wizzard »

robocat wrote: post #373
borski wrote: post #361

Earlier quoted context omitted.

While we don’t know the exact cause of OCD or ADHD, physically, we do have research that describes correlations. Particularly for ADHD, we know certain areas of the brain that control executive function are generally smaller in people with ADHD. We also know that they generally have lower levels of certain brain chemicals, and we have learned far more about it through radioactive isotope examination of the brain as w…

> Just because we don’t know the precise cause doesn’t mean we cannot, in the meantime, help alleviate the symptoms for someone suffering from the syndrome (since we don’t know the precise cause). I didn’t imply anything contrary to that. > Please don’t get in the way of this by implying people are “making it up,” because, simply, they are not. Both of these are extremely well studied syndromes, but really only in th…

You didn’t respond to the strongest plausible interpretation of the point I was making when you said strep can sometimes cause OCD symptoms.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#375

Post by ornornor »

temporama1 wrote: post #208

Any tips on how to change the timestamp on your Git commits? That way you could get your work done on a Monday and spread the commits out throughout the week. I've looked at this before but there are two timestamps on each commit (can't remember now what each of them denotes) and I could only change one of them.

https://garysferrao.github.io/git/commit/date/2015/12/01/cha...

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#376

Post by philsnow »

astrange wrote: post #255
TrackerFF wrote: post #214

Earlier quoted context omitted.

With ADHD, for many it's nigh on impossible to get focused, no mater how high the stakes are - to the point where it seems extremely irresponsible and downright irrational to normal observers. Imagine that almost everything in your life, is the equivalent of starting on a test/exam 2 hours before the deadline, even though you've had a week or two to finish it.

The problem with ADHD is that it applies to everything in your life, not just work. You're equally unable to do chores, hobbies, have fun, or even finish watching a TV series. Actually, they're even harder to do than work because there's no pressure on you to keep up with it.

That actually sounds more like depression than ADHD, although ADHD folks very often also have depression so they can be hard to suss out.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#377

Post by asouers »

tailspin2019 wrote: post #355
asouers wrote: post #352

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ADHDer here—I found Focusmate last fall and it flipped my whole world right-side up. (It was so impactful I actually got in touch with the team and, long story short, I now work for them.) Anyway, I’d be happy to do a session with you and show you the ropes.

Interesting to hear what an impact it had for you. I was just looking at the site again yesterday but in typical ADHD fashion didn't follow through with signing up! I'm game to give it a go - my email address is in my profile.

Sweeeeeet, sent you an email :D

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#378

Post by Apocryphon »

tailspin2019 wrote: post #345
adnmcq999 wrote: post #317

Earlier quoted context omitted.

ADHD is the new Aspergers Seriously though, is there a dx for not having any common sense? I feel like a lot of us here would be terminal cases

> ADHD is the new Aspergers WTF does that even mean

In internet culture, self-diagnosing Asperger's syndrome was a huge trend in the mid to late 2000's. Skeptics often claimed it was an excuse to cover up for social deficiencies and awkwardness.

There are similar phenomena of people doing that with all sorts of maladies or abstract identities, from chronic fatigue syndrome to being an introvert. I find ADHD to be an odd choice though, relatively. It seems like it's been at least a decade or two where over-diagnosis of ADD/ADHD was highly criticized, albeit when it comes to diagnosing children (mostly boys) and giving them Ritalin and not adults.

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#379

Post by xtracto »

jaegerpicker wrote: post #158
dekhn wrote: post #123

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My dad explained it to me like this when I was a kid. I ignored it for a long time, but it definitely stuck in the back of my head. I asked him if we wanted to get a promotion or be a manager but he said he thought his role as a documents library was fine. "Do you know the Peter Principle? It's the idea that you get promoted when you do good work, but at some point, you'll be promoted to a level you're not competent…

This is very similar to my path. I grew up poor and had a bad time in school, so I didn't make it in college as well. Once I started working in the industry though, I went all in all the time. Made myself the kind of engineer that people from startups around. Became a manager, a co-founder, a director, and was incredibly close to accepting a CIO/CTO role. With each goal I found I was less and less happy, eventually I…

> With each goal I found I was less and less happy, eventually I took a boring job at a consulting firm that works with boring industries and Fortune 500 types. I'm a principal engineer and architect and it's boring as hell but it pays incredibly well, is super stable...

I relate with this a lot. Maybe it is that I burned out or its my Age (40 later this year), but after being 8 years churning along in startup leadership (as tech lead and then Head of Engineering in two startups), now I accepted an "Architect" role which does not have all the craziness of being "in charge" of the whole system all the time, and "herding cats" managing people. I am SO HAPPY now I cannot believe I landed this role, and I hope I keep it for some time.

I think the only time I am going to "run very fast" is if I make my own company. Which won't be VC backed (in all these years in VC land, I've not liked the VC model).

Re: Ask HN: Feeling guilty for doing the bare minimum at work

#380

Post by mooreds »

ljoshua wrote: post #369
mooreds wrote: post #357

Earlier quoted context omitted.

> you can use HSA savings to pay for premiums. This is not true, as far as I know. I'd consult a CPA for an authoritative answer, but from https://www.healthcare.gov/glossary/health-savings-account-h... > HSA funds generally may not be used to pay premiums.

Good to note, this may have changed then. It was okay last time I did it. HRAs on the other hand are a good vehicle for this. EDIT: Ah, there is indeed an exception for continuation of coverage under COBRA which makes it acceptable to do so: https://dpath.com/hsa-and-cobra/

Awesome, thanks for digging that up! My bad.
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