Ask HN: How did you overcome misanthropy?

Hey all, serious career question. I am genuinely trying to understand other people's perspective here to allow me to grow personally. I can say that I have had what I would assume to be a biography some on here might share: Singled out in school as a nerd and bullied for some years, not many but rather close friends in school, university. For the past three years prior to the pandemic, I've been freelancing solo.

I have gotten to a point in my life where I realise I have somehow become a misanthrope and my perspective of being overly critical of others (customers/ stakeholders understanding the tech in my domain, the lack of innovation and ambition in my EU home country, down to colleagues and my girlfriend) is seriously limiting my development. In the light of how other people are changing the world through software each day, I feel like I am surrounded by people and a society limiting and blocking me. I am aware that generally successful people are good at working with, not against others.

Any tips on how to change one's mind to be interested in engaging with people? I have a huge inertia throwing these pessimistic, harmful perspective out the window.

As you get older, it is likely that you will increasingly recognize that most people are doing the best they can under difficult circumstances, most people behave as they do for survival reasons, and barriers to people's ability to reach their potential exist because it suits the interests of some powerful person for them to be there.

So, to combat misanthropy: try to be helpful and encouraging to the people you interact with personally. Choose to help those who have little to get a little more when you have the option. Fight entrenched, elite power when you have the opportunity.

I don't think there are general prescription to overcoming such feelings. We have to deal them in our own unique ways. Having said that, a good place to start may be by accepting and not judging yourself for being a misanthrope.

When I find myself caught deep in the struggle of trying to change my own mind, I sometimes end up feeling totally blocked and frustrated. It may sound absurd and counterintuitive, but I find that backing away from that struggle frees my mind to then naturally start seeing a more wholistic view of things and resolve such feelings.

Go easy on yourself and remember such resolutions can take time.

Get the ESTA and go to Silicon Valley. Thats the only real answer and the only answer you'll get here.

That won't get you over your misanthropy, California has problems lol, and Silicon Valley also has a parallel non-technical industry that just caters to people with tech dreams, such as hackathons and VC-star studded conferences with no utility for anyone.

But thats the answer.

I generally agree. The thing is, the actions you listed (like survival and power structure stuff) are actually reasons to be a misanthrope, as in having a general distrust of people.