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Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

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91–100 of 281 posts

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#91
Where do we find a middle ground??

I can see the point of people starting "tough love" camps.

But also, youth of today are incredibly soft, condescending and not ready to take responsibility for themselves.

We people above 40 years old built the modern world that everyone now enjoys. Many of us had INCREDIBLY rough childhoods. We never enjoyed the helicopter parenting that Millenial-on-up children got.

The world (despite all it's problems) has never been more advanced, safe, Cushy and full of promise.

And yet, we have people complaining that working at Amazon is too hard. The same Amazon that employs over a million people -- with countless ripple effects for families, suppliers, their families, etc. etc.

Good times make weak people. Bad times make strong people. (or something like that).

Maybe I should start one of those camps and make a fu*k ton of money.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#92

Cynthia remembers her daughter as a bright, thoughtful and athletic young girl who had always done well academically until she began suffering from mental health problems aged 14. Her struggles led her to become suicidal and begin experimenting with illegal drugs. When Erica was admitted to hospital and excluded from school, the family felt frightened and out of their depth. I am reminded of this piece from a few day…

Just want to mention that I recommend the book "Rethinking School" by Susan Wise Bauer. It's a book I recently read that I wish I had heard about several years ago as it discusses the futility of trying to fit a round peg (child) into a square hole (traditional k-12 system) and discusses various strategies for working around that.

The author and colleagues have set up a related website (welltrainedmind I think?) and forum which seems to be fairly active and with a diverse set of viewpoints.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#93
post #89
post #79

Once again I read about something in the news and I'm just full of WTF. Unbelievable that this stuff exists. Unbelievable that any parent does this willingly. Unbelievable that a "troubled teen" is even a label of a thing that "needs sorting out". It's just so blindingly obvious that if you teach and expose kids to love and respect and fairness then they'll grow up to love and respect and be fair to people. If you te…

Please don't take HN threads into nationalistic flamewar. It destroys this place, and it's a non sequitur. Mistreatment of children exists in many countries, though no doubt it takes various forms. Letting a story like this one land on and inflame pre-existing prejudices is not the best way to process this information.

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Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#94
post #82

Earlier quoted context omitted.

*fist bump*

Sorry you got rate-limited - it's a restriction on new accounts that we're working to relax (without letting too many spammers or trolls through). I've removed the restriction on your account so you can post as you like now. If you run into any trouble please email hn@ycombinator.com.

Thanks dang

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#95
post #15

Institutionalizing someone without even telling them will completely sever any trust. Who thought this would be a good idea?

The problem is, that these "institutions" are allowed to exist.

This might give parents the impression that they are kind of legit. The same people who psychologically torture the children probably will have great stories to tell to the parents, perhaps even other people are telling the parents, that these "institutions" are a great and good thing. The parents even might be pressured themselves by a community they belong to into this decision. And of course the true nature of these places is kept hidden.

Yes, submitting your child to abduction is obviously a total failure as being parents, but never underestimate the influence the environment can have onto your judgement. This applies to the children at the camps who get turned into tornmentors, this applies to the parents who might think it is a good idea to send their children there.

A few years ago, I might have considered all of this impossible, but recent years have shown me, how far off the judgement of people can be, considering the bubbles they are in. And I don't think these bubbles are an invention of the internet, though the internet is very influential in creating new ones. But the long history of these facilities show, these bubbles are nothing new. Especially if this thinking is influenced by the religious communities they are part of.

If people can be convinced that drinking bleach is good for their health, I am sure, some might buy into the lies about the benefit of those facilities. That doesn't take any bit of resposibility from the parents, but puts an equal amount of responsibility on the public to not allow these things to exist in the first place and to prosecute anyone involved in this.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#96
post #40

I went to one of these places when I was 13. Same thing, picked up in the middle of the night, and sent to a wilderness program that turned into 18 months of boarding school. The school was burnt down by the students a few years after I left and I got a couple thousand dollars in a class action lawsuit when it came out that they were hiring unlicensed therapists and admitting students who should have been in intensiv…

My reaction to these kinds of things (see also: the abuse of the Battle School students in Ender's Game ) is to think: (1) Perhaps it was the best way to teach certain things; but (2) I don't think the people who do such things usually rule out all the gentler methods first. It sounds like the "challenges" weren't necessarily intended to teach you what you learned, and you just happened to have a mind and mindset tha…

Enders game is a fiction. And while military boarding schools (and any closed seclude communities) in fact do have abuse systems amd are prone to bullying issue, there is zero evidence the abuses are best way to teach things.

Being strip searched does not fixes mental health issues. Really.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#97
post #31
post #7

The people working at these camps should be named and shamed.

How about we ban camps like that and let the judicial system deal with it instead starting an angry mob with pitchforks and torches?

I mean, being named and shamed has lower impact on your life then being charged, prosecuted and sentenced. And it is cheaper as payments fot layer alone can bankrupt you whether guilty or not.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#99
post #96

Earlier quoted context omitted.

My reaction to these kinds of things (see also: the abuse of the Battle School students in Ender's Game ) is to think: (1) Perhaps it was the best way to teach certain things; but (2) I don't think the people who do such things usually rule out all the gentler methods first. It sounds like the "challenges" weren't necessarily intended to teach you what you learned, and you just happened to have a mind and mindset tha…

Enders game is a fiction. And while military boarding schools (and any closed seclude communities) in fact do have abuse systems amd are prone to bullying issue, there is zero evidence the abuses are best way to teach things. Being strip searched does not fixes mental health issues. Really.

Indeed, children need love in order to be able to give it (and be able to receive it). It seems better to me to keep them in the “circle of love” than to send them off to the well known circle of abuse.

Re: Troubled teens left traumatised by tough love camps

#100
post #50

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Did you keep in touch with any of the other students? I can't imagine that anyone came away thinking it was pleasant, but I'm curious how their thoughts on the experience compared to yours.

Not many. There was a Facebook group where people kept in touch which I disconnected with because it was pretty toxic. Most of the people in there seemed like they never got over it and were sort of still reliving it 10 years later and still held a lot of anger about it. To be fair a lot of them had pretty deep substance abuse issues and probably needed some kind of organized help although I doubt very many got any o…

Or, maybe they got abusive bootcamp at the point that they needed love the most.
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