Ask HN: How did an adult ADHD diagnosis help you?

It saved my life.

I went from always being clouds in the sky, never finish any project, always in my head, wasting days away on social media, both kind and loud and inconsiderate, and seriously depressed, to somebody I can face in the mirror.

It's not a cure all and it took a lot of counselling and some time to find the right medication but it turned my life 180 degrees.

I no longer feel like all my dreams are running through my fingers, and that every new endeavour I start will end in failure. I have much better personal relationships, and am a much better listener with the same kindness I had before.

I've learned to appreciate things that I never thought I could appreciate before. Working on a project for an extended period of time with progress so small you barely see it, and then realising how much you've accomplished over a long timeframe is such a rewarding experience. Before I couldn't study, either I was immediately gifted at something or I just couldn't bring myself to invest time into it. Simple things like, being able to read without getting bored or distracted by every little breeze, or not spending every night coding because you didn't get stuff done during the day and feel like you have to make up for it, is just nice.

Don't fear medication, there's so much stigma around it, but it helps more than anything else. If you got an inflamed thumb you also get antibiotics. The ones I tried first were making me emotionally very detached, but me and my doctor tried around a bit and found something that works really well, it's part of the journey.

Without the meds I feel like a prisoner in my own head. With them I still suck at cleaning my place, I still talk over people when I'm excited, and I still procrastinate regularly, but at least I got enough of a fighting chance to feel like I'm in charge of my life and no longer feel like a leaf in the wind.

Without it i would have never been able to succeed in life. For me it was the single greatest decision i have ever made in my life. I simply could not focus on anything important, I was a miserable mess.

I was a consistent grade D student in high school, I was that werido in class who everyone hated. In my final year my parents realizing I was not going to have a great future, decided to bring me to our doctor, I was prescribed Dexedrine for ADHD.

That Pill completely and utterly changed me in my final year, i could think clearly. I understood what was being said, it completely changed me. I suddenly decided to go to University for CS, forcing me to do a victory lap in high school. I was able to get into University on an amazing scholarship.

However the biggest thing was the few people who i was vaguely friends with me praised my 180 personality change, they liked being my friend.

I am now 36 years old taking the same dose of meds i have been for the last 20 years. It works for me, immensely. At the same time there is a huge stigma around ADHD medication. My ex hated the idea of me taking meds saying its big pharma pushing this, i don't need this, i just need exercise, etc. She changed her tune after she saw me not on my medication.

I know there are probably people out there that don't need this or abuse it. Sure, but that is true for almost everything.

First of all, I personally really like exploring anything a therapist recommends to me. If they (or people in my life) are noticing something, then it's something worth consideration.

I got a formal ADHD diagnosis around 8 years ago. They did prescribe medication, but I honestly do not like taking it. Sure it gives me focus and "superpowers" but it also shifts the way I think about things and I don't feel like myself on it. I personally use it as a "backup" when I have a lot of tasks I have to bash through, but for others they find daily is useful. To each their own. I find a lot of people with diagnosis and medication from a young age lean on that heavily, with less technique based change.

The benefit however has been that now I have the name of something to explore and work on. I didn't really know I was ADHD prior to my diagnosis, and it was a partner that pointed me in the direction of exploring it.

I've realized that my father's behavior was similar to mine, and it's an interesting lens to see his life through.

I've been able to lean into organizational techniques more. For me, putting in hard work on techniques is better on average than medication. I'm also not someone who responds to average organizational techniques and I often have to find "tricks" that work for my own personal motivations to keep me organized.

For example, I've never been able to keep a calendar, todo list, or schedule. I was awful in college about missing classes, running late, etc. So much of it was because I'm overly optimistic about time (so run late), and also about my ability to keep things in my head (which I'm actually terrible at, but in the moment think I'm clever).

My solution to this has been weird - it's Google Calendar. But I share it with a dozen friends. It's no longer about my schedule tracking, but it being a social communication tool. My motivation to keep it accurate isn't just about my schedule, but about letting people know when I'm free/busy and where I am. For my brain, that is a highly motivating thing and so now I keep it accurate. Same with things like grocery lists and Google Keep and my live in partner. It's not just about my list, but now it's a socially motivated list, so I'll keep it accurate. This isn't a motivational technique for everyone, but it's mine and works well to keep me organized.

Eventually you may find parts of yourself described in various literature and experience that aren't just about organization or distraction, but things about how you take feedback, etc... some of which are highly linked as ADHD traits.

There's also at least 3 different distinct types of ADHD, and it's useful to think about those and how they fit you. Your therapist should be able to help you identify these formally.

The ADHD diagnosis allowed me to get Adderall. Adderall allowed me to listen to people and not just talk about whatever comes to mind all the time. After a while of using the drug, I was able to listen to people off the drug. Now I cut my dose down, and just know to recognize my behavior and nip it.

This has improved my personal relationships so much. You wouldn’t believe it.

Previously, everyone loved me because I was the life of the party etc etc but now I can also form deeper connections because I can listen.

This is a common misconception about ADHD.

People with ADHD have a tendency to hyperfocus on things they enjoy, to the detriment of other things.

ADHD is not a lack of focus, it is a lack of Executive Function. Sometimes the Executive Function looks easily distracted because it doesn't want to do chores so it bounces from room to room cleaning one single surface in each one.

Sometimes the Executive Function looks like a 10x programmer beast because you get so wrapped up in programming whatever you're making that it's all you can think about, you skip meals and sleep and ignore friends and family until it's done.