Cool, why should they be doing otherwise? Turn On, Tune In, Drop Out.
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Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
421–430 of 1001 posts
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#422I have a very multicultural background, but the dominant cultural view, at least when it comes to money, is Chinese. For us, living at home is not failure. Moving out without planning to start a family if you live in the same city as your parents is considered wasting money. You instead use it as an opportunity to save a pile of money and invest. How much of this is just cultural change? It isn't failure to launch. I…
I would tend to agree were it not for the decreasing participation in the labor force - that's not doing anything to increase the size of your rocket.
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#423Earlier quoted context omitted.
Videogames provide fake achievement and an easy thing to do to occupy you - I think some people are more vulnerable to this kind of thing than others. For me, the fake achievement feels fake and I don't get much satisfaction out of it - but for others I think it mimics real achievement enough that they can pour hours into it. Online dating sucks for most men - if you're not in the top 2% of attractiveness for men it…
> fake achievement Nothing exposes that more than writing video games yourself, as well as having a job testing them. 10 print "Walter is Great!" 20 goto 10 There ya go. That's all video games are. The fake courtesy of software irks me, too.
Highly recommend the game Pathologic then. A Russian subversion of video games as a medium (the vast majority of players don't finish it despite it being very short)
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#424Earlier quoted context omitted.
I know someone who used to fit that description quite well and then apparently made it out at some point between 35 and 40. Seems like there is always room for a surprise improvement left.
It’s like drug or alcohol addiction. People can become somewhat “born again” usually after some kind of catastrophe and/or “rock bottom” moment. Parents allowing this from their adult children are akin to addict enablers.
Hey, stop doxxing me! Just kidding, but this post accurately describes my 20s and early 30s.
I’ve been ‘born again’ twice, once after opiate addiction and once after alcohol. I had an adult parent enabling me throughout as well. Two rock bottom moments, after the first I decided to disregard the advice I was given, and it didn’t take. The second time, I was humbled and did the work by heeding the advice I was given again. Sober house and outpatient after the inpatient stay, getting a job after outpatient, going to meetings for a year, and staying sober.
Almost 6 years later, I went from making $10/hr part time to a salaried position making low six figures in total compensation. I have a much healthier relationship with my adult enabler parent and have paid back a substantial amount of the money I guilted them out of over the years. My relationships with family have never been better, I have a great partner, and a job I enjoy. It is possible to escape, but sometimes does require a rock bottom moment.
I also spent a considerable amount of time escaping into games and TV shows, there’s a lot of overlap there with drug addiction, escapism, gambling/day trading, etc.
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#425Earlier quoted context omitted.
Not after they were around 6 and 8. Their mom remarried when they were in their teens. So yeah, probably that's part of the problem. But their biological father was also quite lazy and never had a job for very long (part of the reason she left him, that and he did a good bit of gaslighting) so it's not like he was a great example for them to follow (In fact, last I heard he was living with his parents and he's well i…
Thanks for sharing. I sympathize with your cousins, as I believe they are the product of their upbringing. Surely they didn't choose this life either.
I’m not keen on giving a pass that easily. The US education system is decent, and if they can read and write, and have access to internet and a stable home, it’s on them at some point to take it initiative.
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#426Earlier quoted context omitted.
As someone in a similar situation as OP's son (although undergrad) and looking to move out... Independence and personal space MATTER, please consider how your son may feel about living close to you. It may hurt, but it's important to understand the mindset behind the decision.
agreed. I moved out as soon as I could support myself. it wasn't because I hated my parents; they're pretty good as far as parents go. I feel like it's hard to actually be an adult when you live with your parents. as an example, my dad used to always ask when he could expect me home when I went out. not being nosy, he just had a certain "night lock up" routine for the house. it wasn't an unreasonable question to get…
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Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#427Is anybody advocating for them or encouraging them in any way? I can’t think of a single group which aims to highlight men, uplift men, and encourage masculine behavior. These guys grew up in a school system of almost entirely women teachers, and popular media tells them that if they are successful in any way, it is due to oppression. It’s no wonder why they’re not succeeding. We spent the last 15 years telling them…
I have a good friend who is working in HR. She used to be in hiring, now she is in the talent and development stream. We are not in the same company. A few weeks ago I was speaking about my impression that my company is forcing women into promotions and positions just for the sake of reaching targets. I said that it felt unfair towards male colleagues. Her reply was something like this: Men had the advantage for thou…
I just can't imagine being friends with such a person tbh.
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#428Earlier quoted context omitted.
> But who raises the next generation under that scenario? Immigrants, of course, but what does that say about what American society has become? https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2021/05/24/will-birt... (Will births in the US rebound? Probably not.) People respond to incentives. Living and having children in the US is expensive, so the results are what you’d expect. Maybe we don’t need replacement rate, except f…
except for the part of an economic system that requires unending growth This is such a tired phrase. Like if we had socialism or communism or some other -ism it wouldn't matter. But that's just not true. The issue is math and the fact that prime age working people (25-55ish) are the ones that, for the most part, make stuff. If you have a shrinking population then the % of the population that makes stuff gets a lot sm…
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Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#429Earlier quoted context omitted.
> But who raises the next generation under that scenario? Immigrants, of course, but what does that say about what American society has become? https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2021/05/24/will-birt... (Will births in the US rebound? Probably not.) People respond to incentives. Living and having children in the US is expensive, so the results are what you’d expect. Maybe we don’t need replacement rate, except f…
except for the part of an economic system that requires unending growth This is such a tired phrase. Like if we had socialism or communism or some other -ism it wouldn't matter. But that's just not true. The issue is math and the fact that prime age working people (25-55ish) are the ones that, for the most part, make stuff. If you have a shrinking population then the % of the population that makes stuff gets a lot sm…
but hasn't the productivity per worker been steadily climbing for decades, you would think there would be a stable point where that balances out
Re: Fewer young men are in the labor force, more are living at home
#430Earlier quoted context omitted.
> But who raises the next generation under that scenario? Immigrants, of course, but what does that say about what American society has become? https://www.brookings.edu/blog/up-front/2021/05/24/will-birt... (Will births in the US rebound? Probably not.) People respond to incentives. Living and having children in the US is expensive, so the results are what you’d expect. Maybe we don’t need replacement rate, except f…
except for the part of an economic system that requires unending growth This is such a tired phrase. Like if we had socialism or communism or some other -ism it wouldn't matter. But that's just not true. The issue is math and the fact that prime age working people (25-55ish) are the ones that, for the most part, make stuff. If you have a shrinking population then the % of the population that makes stuff gets a lot sm…
There's always the post-scarcity system where robots make all the stuff and we can all stay home and play video games.