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A Project of One’s Own

paulgraham.com

251–260 of 384 posts

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#251

Good essay overall, but this footnote in particular stood out to me: > [2] Tiger parents, as parents so often do, are fighting the last war. Grades mattered more in the old days when the route to success was to acquire credentials while ascending some predefined ladder. But it's just as well that their tactics are focused on grades. How awful it would be if they invaded the territory of projects, and thereby gave the…

Without going into too much detail, my mother¹ had a way of interfering in my attempts at projects both by trying to tie it into "getting a credentialed person on board"² for Proper Supervision and piling on… other abuse, often after I was a significant ways in.

Fifteen years after escaping, I still haven't published anything real, and I can see the pattern. I saw the pattern ten years ago, even, but deep conditioning is really hard to break. Only being able to finish things for other people is kind of a disaster, especially when you wind up in the “need experience to gain experience” trap.

¹ Who, again without too much detail, was Asian. ² Which never happened. She never put any actual energy into it, I had no framework for approaching it as a child, and I'm not sure the surrounding environment contained people who were willing to do that sort of thing anyway.

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#252

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Grades still matter for the vast majority of people who aren’t born into mega rich families. Most people don’t become Silicon Valley entrepreneurs and even those that do benefit greatly from the pedigrees that academic achievement opens up (going to top colleges, working at desirable employers, although grades matter little there unless you’re right out of college). For everyone else grades are still used for trackin…

Grades don't matter. They matter if you really want to follow the beaten path. Sure, go ahead... join McKinsey or something like that. Being good a learning matters. Being good at executing matters. Being good at communicating matters. Being good at leading matters. Grades and credentials are just gatekeeping invented by people that are worse than talented people. Grades are for status not for wealth and even much le…

Grades are an easy way to communicate your value. They stop mattering when you have alternative way to show your value (e.g. work experience).

Finding non traditional ways to demonstrate your value can be hard and is a skill that isn't really tought. If you're going to not care about grades you better be sure you know some alternative way to show your potential value.

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#253
post #179

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Tiger parents A largely Chinese-American concept, the term draws parallels to strict parenting styles ostensibly common to households in East Asia, South Asia, and Southeast Asia. (wikipedia) The idea behind tiger parents is that Asians earn more money. And it's true, but not the whole store. But the problem is that average Asian incomes are pulled up by Indian-Americans. Chinese-Americans earn less than many Europea…

>Chinese-Americans earn less than many European-Americans. On the page you link, Chinese-Americans have a lower per-capita income than Americans of Macedonian, Russian, Latvian, British (not otherwise specified), Lithuanian, Slovene, Australian, and Austrian ancestry. They have a higher per-capita income than Americans of Scottish, Czechoslovakian, Croatian, Romanian, Hungarian, Slovak, Belgian, Swiss, Welsh, Danish,…

The Americans of Bosnian, Croatian, Montenegrin and Serbian origin must really be doing crappy if Yugoslav is in the lower bucket while Slovene and Macedonian are in the higher. Or maybe it is filtering out immigrants who weren't born while that country existed (soooo... before 1918? And after 1992?)

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#254

Good essay overall, but this footnote in particular stood out to me: > [2] Tiger parents, as parents so often do, are fighting the last war. Grades mattered more in the old days when the route to success was to acquire credentials while ascending some predefined ladder. But it's just as well that their tactics are focused on grades. How awful it would be if they invaded the territory of projects, and thereby gave the…

Tiger parents are already evolving on this, every elite high school student is now starting non profits or micro startups to put on their resumes .

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#255

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Yes, one must wonder at the way he effortlessly expresses his largely half-baked ideas.

Glad someone mentioned it. The man is pretty much unanimously worshipped around here but his writing just doesn't resonate with me. It's not just that I don't agree, I think it's possible to appreciate someone's talent without agreeing with it, but it just doesn't feel particularly thought-provoking or insightful to me. That might say more about me than him but it is how it is.

Wow, I truly have a different taste I suppose. Do you like Joel Spolsky's writings?

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#258

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I will also never allow my children to gang up on and beat homeless people in the streets. Sounds like a weird tone?

Yes, still sounds like a weird tone. Do you think that other people "beat homeless people in the streets", because their parents allowed them to do that?

[deleted]

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#259

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Same thought. PG gets held to a higher standard than anything else on here. If some random smart person put up the same article, everyone would congratulate them for at least the effort. I can't tell if PG's (cultivated) simple style makes people think the "idea" is simple. In any case, even if people don't like something, they don't usually go out of their way to tell the author, especially when it is something as p…

> PG gets held to a higher standard than anything else on here. This is a crazy statement to me. I'm sure you believe it, but I have the exact opposite impression: that if the majority of his stuff were posted anonymously on another domain nobody would notice or care. > even if people don't like something, they don't usually go out of their way to tell the author I think people do this because of the outsized home-cr…

> if the majority of his stuff were posted anonymously on another domain nobody would notice or care.

That may be true, but it does not contradict anything I said.

Re: A Project of One’s Own

#260
post #208

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Our generation had distractions, too. TV, for example. I don't know the direct answer to your question but at least part of it is that 'not-forcing' your kid in to programming means they might just never be in to programming. My oldest is at least kind of in to programming (and also plays a lot of Minecraft and watches a lot of YouTube) my youngest two have shown zero interest in programing, but have interests of the…

Growing up, what my late father probably wanted most from me is for me to find a project of my own. When I was in high school, he once threatened me with "get a life, or I will get you one". Engines, and especially motorcycles, were always a passion of his. He grew up on a farm, and "was rebuilding tractor engines when the other kids were learning to ride bicycles." He still holds a few land speed records he set with…

You'd worry like your dad, and in the end your kid would still find its way like you did :)

Also, there's no use in regrets. Only lessons learned.

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