Ask HN: Those who have taken extended time off, any advice?

It wasn't boring. I made my 4th and 5th kids, grew a big garden, maintained procps, added features to Tux Paint, and messed with reusing CVS's silly single-use video camera.

Maybe it was worth it. It definitely was expensive, despite living cheaply. I didn't prepare at all, aside from my normal habit of living below my means.

I've done it several times.

Yes, totally worth it.

Yes, totally got bored. That's a good thing, it's the polar opposite of creativity and we need to live there some of the time or we lose track of the value of creativity and come to think of it as the day-to-day grind instead of the fun adventure it can be.

It was not more expensive. With all that time I could make my own food and minimize the monetary friction of convenience to save time. Everything went much slower and more thoughtful.

Helpful prep? Have ideas for a project, something to accomplish on a day to day habit kind of process and another long term. Not stressful projects, nor necessarily productive projects. Maybe learning? Maybe more physicality? Me, I did more yoga and took classes at a local maker space. Worst thing you can do is leave all your time open and free. You won't value it. Well, 2nd worst thing is to expect you can do too much and kick yourself for not living up to your potential.

Relax.

I took a three month leave of absence at the end of a six year run of 7x24 days in the dot com era, totally burned out. I extended it another three months as I entered the initial last month as I didn't feel "ready" to return.

I think the experience completely broke my willingness to return to a "normal" tech role again and I've bounced between short bursts of employment and long bursts of not working or semi–employment as a consultant.

I think it also saved my life.

Mistakes I made:

  I didn't have a plan to structure my time off.
  I didn't have any goals to accomplish in my time off.
  I didn't arrange ahead of time for a role to return to.

What I did do: learned basic Mandarin, established a relationship that has lasted 20+ years, read many non CS / non-technical books, focused on getting healthier and fitter.

Specific advice: structure your time off, set goals, try to accomplish them but don't punish yourself if you fail. Arrange ahead of time for a role to return to, even if it's time limited or isn't what you "really want to do".

I wrote longer about this previously but can't find it in my first few pages of comments.

Copy pasting my comment from a previous thread:

In 2016, I quit my job working at a small software firm in Chicago. I didn't think I would do it, I was afraid I would keep putting it off, so one day in the middle of the workday I just abruptly opened AirBnB and booked an apartment for two months in Paris, just like that, non-refundable, plus a flight, also non-refundable. It was 7 months in advance, to give myself plenty of time, but also to put a definitive date on the matter. I had never been outside the US at the time. I left at the end of July and spent all of August, September, and October in Europe, living off savings and just enjoying the sights, alone.

I have a mixture of extremely good and sad memories. I do not regret it in any way and am extremely glad I did it.

My place in Paris was lovely, right by Les Gobelins in the heart of the city. The weather was beautiful and I would just spend days walking the streets, visiting every museum and cathedral and café and restaurant. The best thing is that under such circumstances you aren't pressed to fit everything into a few days-- you have the freedom to do something every day or every few days, whatever pace you feel like. So you never end up feeling hassled or pressured.

I would pass whole afternoons sitting in the window of the bookshop across from Notre-Dame Cathedral, listening to the churchbells and reading books. I would spend many evenings walking the river. If I felt like it, I would take a train out of the city to a random village in the countryside and visit castle ruins. I did this many times. It's amazing what you can find sitting around in Europe, hundreds or thousands of years old decaying in a field. So much history there.

I rented a car and drove to Normandy, and to the south, and saw many more things. Eventually I flew to Italy, and then to Croatia. Croatia was the best part of the whole trip-- it's an unbelievably gorgeous country. It's not so well known as Italy and Greece and France, but it's as good or better.

A lot of this time was spent playing video games on my laptop in my airbnb room, being a little sad that I was on my own. That's the other side of it. Some friends flew out and spent time with me there, totalling two weeks, but the other eight weeks was just me in a land where I could only speak the language well enough to get by, but not well enough to get to know anyone meaningfully. It was lonely. And all the while I knew I had to go back and figure out what to do next.

I think it depends. You have to know yourself. Money can take away some causes of unhappiness, but it can't give happiness, only freedom, which isn't the same thing. Purpose is happiness, someone said to me recently, and I agree with them. Traveling on my own, I had freedom, but no purpose beyond seeing beautiful and ancient things that I'd never seen before. It was lovely, and I'll do it again soon. But I wasn't as happy as the times when I knew I was where I was meant to be, with people who needed me there and wanted me there.

I don't have a tidy conclusion. It's just food for thought I guess. My personal answer to OP's question. For what it's worth, the whole 3 months cost me <$6000. Staying in one airbnb for an extended block of time and buying groceries instead of eating out 3x a day makes a big difference, plus the trains are cheap in Europe.