I haven't seen a 'real' stock certificate in 20 years either. But stocks are actually backed by something, somebody.
Bitcoins are backed by ... a sysadmin? An algorithm?
I'm reminded of when bond trading changed - folks stopped buying the bond, and instead just bought a 'coupon' representing the interest on the bond. Whaa? Kind of like betting on the horse, instead of owning the horse I guess.
So, bet on Bitcoins all you like. But when you get burned, its not very ingenious to complain about it.