All About Cockatoos (2002)

I live in Australia, in an area where Sulphur-Crested Cockatoos are common. Those things are amazingly intelligent, curious and fearless, traits which serve them well in their continuous hunt for food (preferably ours). Three anecdotes:

• In high school, cockatoos always clustered around the lockers (which were outside, of course), so they could eat any food someone had foolishly left unattended. There was a story going round that the cockatoos had learnt to undo the zips on backpacks so they could get at the food. Admittedly, I never saw that with my own two eyes; however, I do know that they had learnt to puncture plastic bags so they could eat any food inside.

• Later on, in university, I had a habit of eating lunch outside in a grassy area. One day, a couple of cockatoos landed near me, looking at my food; this continued until about 8–10 cockatoos were clustered around me, all carefully eyeing my food. They then started to move forward — slowly, so as not to frighten me off — until they were all just a couple of centimetres away from me. Quite sensibly, I had by this time placed the lid on my container (though foolishly had not locked it in place) to stop them from eating it. I thus felt safe in moving away from all these nasty-looking birds — at which point, one of them reached out and tipped the container over, so the lid fell off and the food fell out! (I actually have a picture of the moment.) Of course I quickly gathered up the spilt food, but they did still get a bit to eat. It annoyed me, of course, but I am still impressed by the intelligence required to realise that this is the best way of getting food out of a box with a lid.

• At the same university, I once saw a cockatoo creep up to an unsuspecting man sitting on a bench and have a nibble of his pant leg! It’s unclear why it would do such a thing, but I’ve since come to the conclusion that it was simply curious to know what clothing tastes like.

Moral of the story: do not underestimate Australian wildlife, for it is cleverer than you would expect.

Hah, yes, that is exactly what our cockatoos are like!

All this is absolutely true. We had a lot of white cockatoos years ago, including a Moluccan, a medium sulphur-crested, an umbrella and (this species is now critically endangered) a Philippine red-vented. The Moluccan was one in a million: he housebroke himself, put himself to bed at night, didn't squawk, didn't bite, didn't destroy things. He sat with my sister on the couch and watched TV. We never closed the cage door. He was caught wild as an adult, tamed within weeks and of course eventually died of PBFD a couple years later. PBFD also killed the other red-vented we had, but this one (even though he'd eat pretty much anyone) he never bit me ever. He went to the zoo, where I hope he is repopulating the species.

But the sulphur-crested and the umbrella were more typical. The sulphur-crested was trouble from the beginning and he bit everyone at least once. He had an obnoxious habit of eating peppers and then asking for a kiss because he enjoyed the reaction. We found a home for him. As for the umbrella, he was a gorgeous and delightful bird as a baby and unmanageable as an adult. I still remember the day I had to catch him because he escaped onto the porch. The towel didn't stop him from severely gnawing my hand. He, too, found a new home.

And I'd consider us fairly experienced as a family with parrots; my folks still have a charming little caique. We also had macaws and an Amazon and even a red fan parrot, a beautiful and absolutely intractable wretched thing who only obeyed my father and yet nailed everyone including him. But I loved the cockatoos most, even though everything in this article is dead on. I think it was Robert Blake remarking on his trademark cockatoo in Baretta that if you work with parrots, expect to get bitten.

If you're new to aviculture, try a cockatiel or a budgie first. They're easy to care for, are much less likely to be difficult to handle, can be extremely good pets and may be all the bird you need. Bigger birds really require devotion to the cause.

They will do that even when they are fully fed.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DTh0m2GalRw The human here takes his cup around after they are done feeding. They still fight over it, probably because they are curious.

My advice to anyone who talks to me about wanting a cockatoo, or any large bird really, is don't. If you're asking me about them, then you don't know what you're getting into. If you don't intend to devote a substantial portion of your life to that animal, it will not work.

Personally, I'd never own an animal smarter than a conure. And a conure is really pushing it. If I ever get the cats wrangled well enough and am willing to give up my non-stick pans, I think I'd like a couple parakeets. Plenty smart, sweet, interactive, and I won't have to feel guilty about providing enough metal stimulation for what is essentially a 2 year old kid.