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Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

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Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#181
post #34
post #21

Earlier quoted context omitted.

Calling everything toxic or abusive seems to have replaced a range of expressive terms and phrases, like "that's an asshole thing to say" or "what the fuck is wrong with you."

Basically, abuse these days is being told something you didn't like or agree with.

Worse than that. In some circles it's not enthusiastically agreeing or expressing any kind of reservation as well.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#182
post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?

I've deliberately cultivated this. As I often as I remember I adopt the perspective of someone who's 14,000 years old. I don't know why I haven't died, and at this point I don't expect to at anytime in the future. But I don't know I won't - so I'm still careful, and grateful. But I don't let things bother me, because I've seen it before. And all my plans are long-term, because centuries to me are the same as quarters…

This is fun. You often people say “death gives life meaning” which is absurd, as if the meat and potatoes of day-to—day obligations, chores, hobbies and friendships are influenced in any way by the fact that the chain of experiences will eventually end. I don’t imagine that I’m 14ky old, but I do make decisions as if I might never die, and if I do, I try to keep in mind the implications for my as-yet-nonexistent grandchildren.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#183
post #22

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I think what you're describing is more down to desensitisation through exposure to stressful environments. When you're younger smaller problems seem larger because you've not been desensitised to larger problems. As you progress through life you generally experience greater stress and thus the smaller problems feel smaller. You could look at it like desensitisation to capsicum, salt, violence or pornography.

I am of the belief that when there is no conflict people will invent it. I think outrage culture sweeping the US right now is part of that.

The people who are most susceptible to this are in fact disproportionately young and inexperienced. Virtually nobody I know from meatspace behaves the way virtually everybody on Twitter seems to behave, for example.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#184

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is addressed really interestingly in The Good Place. It starts off looking like a very by-the-book sitcom though, so you do need to wait it out a bit.

It’s a philosophy class masquerading as a sitcom. I liked the show a lot. And props to them for ending the show when it needed to. They could have dragged it out but didn’t.

Glad to hear it ended. Death isn't always bad.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#185

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way. As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters li…

> F* are reserved for important matters like arguing on HN about the superiority of Linux :). Linux has already taken over the world. Your advocacy energy is wasted on it. Direct it toward promoting Rust instead :)

Bahaha :)

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#186
post #168

Earlier quoted context omitted.

I've deliberately cultivated this. As I often as I remember I adopt the perspective of someone who's 14,000 years old. I don't know why I haven't died, and at this point I don't expect to at anytime in the future. But I don't know I won't - so I'm still careful, and grateful. But I don't let things bother me, because I've seen it before. And all my plans are long-term, because centuries to me are the same as quarters…

"You think that thing you're worried about is going to matter in the long term? THINK, Mark, THINK!"

My crass response to people being finicky or indecisive about dinner plans is, “You do realize that whatever we pick is just going to be shit out by tomorrow right?

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#187

My entirely unscientific theory is that like other cells, we're born with a limited number of fucks in our body. When we're young, we (instinctively, subconsciously) feel like our fucks reserves are plentiful, so we give a fuck about a lot of stuff. As we get older, our reservoir of fucks gets progressively depleted. The fucks are rarer, so we give a fuck less and less often. I've recently turned 40 and I can definit…

Reminds me of the theory I read somewhere - we all have so many words in us and when we use them up, we die. Think it might have been Vonnegut but can't find the source at the moment.

Also stated "those who don't know speak, those who do know don't speak"

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#188

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way. As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters li…

The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?

> Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about? Mathematics!

plushpuffin (https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=27132468) mentions Greg Egan's Permutation city, and this sort of question is one of his main themes. In Diaspora, Egan explores many other possible answers; my favourite of the possible answers there, and I suspect also his, is that eventually one would occupy oneself with mathematics in such a place.

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#189

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way. As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters li…

The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wU0PYcCsL6o

Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?

#190

Earlier quoted context omitted.

This is addressed really interestingly in The Good Place. It starts off looking like a very by-the-book sitcom though, so you do need to wait it out a bit.

It’s a philosophy class masquerading as a sitcom. I liked the show a lot. And props to them for ending the show when it needed to. They could have dragged it out but didn’t.

> They could have dragged it out but didn’t.

I've watched the show and loved it, and I've heard this compliment before, but only just now have I realized how meta this compliment is.

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