Personally speaking the answer has been mostly "practice".
I realize things would suck less if I didn't let my emotions control me on topic X, so I work on that. It's simple, but it sure isn't easy.
Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
131–140 of 288 posts
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#132Natural selection. At a young age, some people know how to control their feelings, others don't. The ones who can't then die from road rage or similar, leaving only the ones with at least a modicum of self control in the older age groups. Basically, it's survivor bias, but literally.
All the older people who go on tantrums at retail and food service workers throw a monkey into this theory.
Nah, natural selection sometimes works slowly, and it's not infallible, it's all about probabilities. Old people who are angry throws a wrench in the original statement, not this explanation of it.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#133Earlier quoted context omitted.
This is hilarious and yet right on the money in some way. As you get older, you start to see that everything is the same and goes through cycles. The important stuff of my childhood (ex: having clothes that were sewhar fashionable), becomes irrelevant. Who cares if I'm wearing the same style of sandals for over 20 years now? You start to focus on what's more important to you. F** are reserved for important matters li…
The last thing you wrote is something I indirectly think about quite a lot. Imagine a place (call it heaven if you want) where time and death don’t exist. What could you possibly care about?
This is addressed really interestingly in The Good Place. It starts off looking like a very by-the-book sitcom though, so you do need to wait it out a bit.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#134I would expect survivor bias. The author isn't saying "greater control of feelings", they're saying "higher emotional well being and more satisfying social contacts". Old people with low emotional well being probably die off sooner. Old people with poor social relationships are probably harder to find and talk to to study.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#135Earlier quoted context omitted.
I understand the sentiment but it’s worth noting in the US the median boomer _household_ wealth is 134k. More than 45% of boomer households have no extra retirement savings or income. I think it’s pretty fair to criticize that generations lack of forethought but not so much wealth hoarding.
https://www.visualcapitalist.com/visualizing-net-worth-by-ag... ok?
You source shows boomers with a median net worth of around $266,400. That's really not much to have accumulated over the course of 40+ years of work.
That's roughly equivalent to putting away $150 a month.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#136Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think what you're describing is more down to desensitisation through exposure to stressful environments. When you're younger smaller problems seem larger because you've not been desensitised to larger problems. As you progress through life you generally experience greater stress and thus the smaller problems feel smaller. You could look at it like desensitisation to capsicum, salt, violence or pornography.
That's preposterous! I'm sticking to my "fucks are finite and biologically limited" theory. I'll use the TED talk to promote my upcoming self-help book around this mind-blowing new theory.
More realistically a TEDx talk.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#137Isn't the answer simply experience? The more one experience an emotion, the more one know on how the emotions works, unfolds and how to handle it. Similar, with age and experience we have more understanding on how situations arise which trigger specific emotions, which also means we have more time to prepare, manage and probably even avoid them.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#138Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think what you're describing is more down to desensitisation through exposure to stressful environments. When you're younger smaller problems seem larger because you've not been desensitised to larger problems. As you progress through life you generally experience greater stress and thus the smaller problems feel smaller. You could look at it like desensitisation to capsicum, salt, violence or pornography.
Babies in particular cry so much because whatever discomfort they’re experiencing is literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to them.
The thing with babies is that evolution comes in play here, and they often cry for no (internal) reason whatsoever... More crying = more parent attention = better rate of survival. I wonder when does this effect cut off.
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#139Earlier quoted context omitted.
I don't think the intention was to water down the words' meaning. The intention was to get attention on just how terrible a certain thing was/is in the short run (This idea is abuse/violence!). The long term effects of this is future claims of abuse get ignored in the discourse because the words have been so watered down as to lose their meaning.
The problem is that it seldomly was abuse or violence. These are misplaced or exaggerated words for effect, which is what creates the long term effect. If they're exaggerated, that makes me think this was intentful. If they're misplaced then we've failed in educating a whole group of people on a very fundamental level in a multitude of areas from language to emotional management.
"misplaced or exaggerated for effect" appears to be a natural thing. It's not a new thing, but it definitely seems to be accumulative.
Friends say bands are "awesome", long meetings are "excruciating", guys in mock turtlenecks say products are "magical" or "revolutionary". Boys cry "wolf". What does it all mean?
What words do we choose when the correct words are no longer meaningful? What is the value of a word that describes a situation that almost never happens?
Re: Why do older individuals have greater control of their feelings?
#140Earlier quoted context omitted.
I think what you're describing is more down to desensitisation through exposure to stressful environments. When you're younger smaller problems seem larger because you've not been desensitised to larger problems. As you progress through life you generally experience greater stress and thus the smaller problems feel smaller. You could look at it like desensitisation to capsicum, salt, violence or pornography.
Disillusionment is real. Before you have achieved success you think that it is really important to succeed. Once you have succeeded, or see other people succeed, you realize that some of the happiest people are not "successful".
This is a great example of why defining of one's goals is important. To be one of the "happiest people" would be a worthy goal, but the young don't think of the game of life like that.