What the hell?! Give. Developers. Offices. With. Doors. It's conceptually simple, and will probably cost less than this novelty shit in the long run.
We're not getting private offices any more than we're getting family homes. Both are understandable expectations given our nominal wages, but they are also gross misapprehensions of our place in the pecking order. You may be able to afford all the cars and iPhones and vacations in the world, but that will never hold a candle to land. Land owns you.