My horror in reading this is that I, a male engineer, have probably been the Dick at some point in my career.
Wouldnt you know?
My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
21–30 of 98 posts
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#22Thoughts from tale 1: - I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test. - I'm always surprised by how stupid people are. Being nice to the receptionist isn't just good standard human behavior, but it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring…
Its quite a world we live in isn't it? The things that people accuse me of sometimes baffle me. And then I have to remember, oh yeah that's the kind of world that they live in, filled with malicious intent , backstabbing, jealousy etc.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#23Thoughts from tale 1: - I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test. - I'm always surprised by how stupid people are. Being nice to the receptionist isn't just good standard human behavior, but it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring…
> it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring process.
That's a stretch.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#24Nice story. It takes some experience and self knowledge to identify what is a joke and what is bullying. Most men just want to be liked, seem witty and funny, and sometimes are just going a too far to show off. But there's a group of people who will belittle you to humiliate and assert their higher position in the hierarchy and this is a part of an ugly campaign to destroy any competition (which also means you're per…
Calling a woman a girl, while calling a man a man, might be why you find it hard to form positive rapport with her.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#25This article reads like a first draft of Disney's Purl, with a bit of /r/thathappened embellishment (coke pouring back into the can?). Someone who calls their (her word) kind coworker "babe" and "tech bro" also raises an eyebrow.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#26Nice story. It takes some experience and self knowledge to identify what is a joke and what is bullying. Most men just want to be liked, seem witty and funny, and sometimes are just going a too far to show off. But there's a group of people who will belittle you to humiliate and assert their higher position in the hierarchy and this is a part of an ugly campaign to destroy any competition (which also means you're per…
Calling a woman a girl, while calling a man a man, might be why you find it hard to form positive rapport with her.
i dont think this is relevant, she's not the only female developer in the team and i have rather a positive rapport with everyne else. It's just how the normal work situation becomes twisted into personal, full of self-defense and finger pointing, with potential to develop into crazy if i dont back off.
PS after giving this one more thought, i dont think i ever patronized someone because of gender, but must honestly admit i assume the mentor tone when dealing with unexperienced/less skilled developers. Shoot me, but it's not about maintaining my feeling of superiority, i know my skills. It's about building a rapport - if the other person reacts properly then there's hope for cooperation, if it's just games then sorry, i dont want that.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#27Thoughts from tale 1: - I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test. - I'm always surprised by how stupid people are. Being nice to the receptionist isn't just good standard human behavior, but it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring…
I'm disappointed the best she could do summing up her 20-year experience as a woman in tech is high baseline agression, cynicism, two examples of violence on her part, one genuinely off-colour remark and one piece of unacceptable behaviour by a colleague.
I would have preferred to see some analysis of how she has had to and did adjust to the way men think, some tips for colleagues welcoming women, something she appreciated in working with men, some area she uniquely shone because she was a woman in a male environment, etc.
What we got was a thinly veiled foregone conclusion of "anything I don't like is discrimination because I'm a woman" and "the problem is men". As usual, she is merely the victim, has no agency and no interest in a non-gynocentric perspective. As it stands, there is little to be gained from her post besides discouraging women from joining up and demonising men.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#28I'll admit I didn't finish the article. I got as far as the author critising her colleagues clothes. If this was the other way round she would be pissed but because she is making fun of men itself okay to her.
She also seems to think a receptionist or assistant is beneath her for some reason.
I'm tired of pandering to the idea of all men bad all women good.
Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#29Thoughts from tale 1: - I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test. - I'm always surprised by how stupid people are. Being nice to the receptionist isn't just good standard human behavior, but it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring…
> it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring process. That's a stretch.
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Re: My life as a woman in tech, told in three beverages
#30Thoughts from tale 1: - I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test. - I'm always surprised by how stupid people are. Being nice to the receptionist isn't just good standard human behavior, but it's also obvious that a receptionist will have input on the hiring…
> I would have guessed that the person who greeted me, showed me where to sit, and asked if I needed anything before leaving was a receptionist regardless of gender. That seems like an unfair strike/test.
I had the exact same thought and then immediately realized it was bullshit. If it was a man I think I would question their role and I think that’s true of most people. It’s hard to say after the fact.
Some people don’t have these biases but most people who think they don’t are just full of shit.