11–20 of 82 posts
I will say it takes a huge amount of support. Knowing what I know now I would not recommend having a kid without a partner and supportive family. But that goes without saying. Most people who are single parents didn’t plan to be.
My perspective: always had a gut feel that I wanted kids. Now have 3 young ones. Is it hard? Yes. Would my life be "easier" without them? In some ways (practically) and likely less so in others (emotionally, spiritually). Are there moments where I wish I was childless? Absolutely. Do those moments last and would I rather have a life without kids? No, not by a longshot. It's cliche, but I can't imagine a life as full and changing without them. Keep in mind I'm talking about me and my life here, not generalizing. A childless life can be just as fulfilling, if not more, for someone else.
It will make you a better person. There's nothing easy about it. You'll have less time for selfish things. Your self control will be challenged as you try to maintain composure in many challenging situations. Some that involve diaper blowouts at 3am, the night before a big presentation. You'll be forced to adapt as your lifestyle changes. Old friends without kids will invite you out less. You'll find new friends with…
If it’s just going to be you, the spouse, and the toddler stuck in a suburban house, I hope you genuinely enjoy playing with them a lot because they need constant attention.
Even after having kids, I think I’d be just as happy if I didn’t have them. I certainly wouldn’t want them if it was just going to be me and spouse, but luckily I can diffuse the responsibilities between daycare/grandparents/etc.
I also would lean towards not having them if I wasn’t completely financially secure and could afford them a home in a good neighborhood and colleges, but that’s due to me believing the income/wealth gap will continue to increase.
Dealing with so much poop is actually not that bad.
Dating drama is exhausting.
Late teenage rebellion period is exhausting.
Nothing like years of effort, lectures, standards tossed out the window. Umm daughter, your boyfriends profile picture is of him sticking a can up his ass. “”He loves me!, your stupid””
For younger ones chore battles are my current stress point.
It will make you a better person. There's nothing easy about it. You'll have less time for selfish things. Your self control will be challenged as you try to maintain composure in many challenging situations. Some that involve diaper blowouts at 3am, the night before a big presentation. You'll be forced to adapt as your lifestyle changes. Old friends without kids will invite you out less. You'll find new friends with…
Try to read/watch the news every day for some time. Do you want to force someone to live on a planet where things happen which are a daily occurrence on ours?
What if I just don't read/watch the news every day? "Bad things" have happened as a daily occurrence for all of history - it's only now that there's an echo chamber and attention economy for this kind of trauma porn. All I'm trying to say is that "Do you want to force someone to live on a planet where things happen which are a daily occurrence on ours?" is a consideration that all of our ancestors had to consider, to…
If you were abount to be reincarnated and could pick a decade to be born, knowing that you would be born into a random family somewhere on earth, you'd be a fool to pick any decade in the past. Today, you'd have a ~10% chance of being born into extreme poverty. As recently as 1990, it was ~50%, while back in 1900 it would have been ~90%!
The key thing I learned is a new perspective, I understand my parents and other parents a lot more now.
It will make you a better person. There's nothing easy about it. You'll have less time for selfish things. Your self control will be challenged as you try to maintain composure in many challenging situations. Some that involve diaper blowouts at 3am, the night before a big presentation. You'll be forced to adapt as your lifestyle changes. Old friends without kids will invite you out less. You'll find new friends with…
Gotta wonder about all those parents that missed the "make you a better person" memo.
“Make you less selfish”… excuse me?