731–740 of 779 posts
> I have reported all of my experience to the ScalaCenter in 2019. I was hoping to see concrete actions, such as building a reporting mechanism, to protect minorities in the community. Unfortunately, I am not aware of such actions taken. That sounds like a community failure, not just One Bad Guy.
If Yifan has any issue with Jon, she shall resolve the issue in court.
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The same argument can be made the other direction. It is quite common for someone to be convinced after the fact it was nonconsensual when it was indeed consensual.
I'm sure it happens, I strongly doubt it's "quite common". Especially relative to the incidence of it happening the other way (where an victim escapes and abuser and realizes they were being abused.)
You know there's a fairly large community of people that are convinced that they were abducted by aliens?
There's also a community of people that are convinced they have had a past life and know the intimate details of it. They don't suffer from schizophrenia, they literally just have false memories.
In the end it shouldn't be about what party X subjectively felt or what they felt afterwards. It should be about what party X actually portrayed and communicated at the time of the encounter. If they legitimately consented and weren't intoxicated but deep down were thinking "I don't want this", then that sucks for them but no crime was committed and the counterparty isn't culpable.
I'm talking generally, not about the specific allegation in question.
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You should talk to more women in your life about their experiences. Every suggestion you're making here is premised on priors from your experience as a man that do not hold true for many or most women. You say she should get out and call her dad or a friend. Yet your own reaction is one of questioning her experience and shaming her for "a long chain of bad decisions to end up drunk on your own wine, in a foreign coun…
Experience as a father of daughters, raised by a single mom. But set that aside, as your experience as a man cancels it out. You seem to view women as weak victims. Your suggestion she underwent the rape as a rational decision, so she did not have to escalate a fight she would likely lose, is downright horrific to me. Maybe 100-200 years ago, a woman had her life lived to that degree, but these days they are equals.…
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Experience as a father of daughters, raised by a single mom. But set that aside, as your experience as a man cancels it out. You seem to view women as weak victims. Your suggestion she underwent the rape as a rational decision, so she did not have to escalate a fight she would likely lose, is downright horrific to me. Maybe 100-200 years ago, a woman had her life lived to that degree, but these days they are equals.…
> these days they are equals This is laughable and just reinforces what I'm saying: you need to listen to more of the women in your life about their actual experiences, not what you imagine them to be. I am not invoking my experience as a man. I am invoking the experiences of the vast majority of women I know. Their experiences are not even close to equal to mine, when it comes to their ease of moving about the world…
"Don't feed egregious comments by replying; flag them instead."
If people would follow that simple rule, hellfires would die before they spread. Please don't contribute to spreading them by feeding them.
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When do they happen, and why did they happen? Edit: since I wasn't clear, I am looking for examples of when this has happened to you, or your friend, or anyone that you have heard of... Edit 2: also by "pretty much" does not happen, I don't mean never happens. But I think the rate at which it happens is probably a rounding error, and I think a lot of people would rather just say "oh well they could be lying" before e…
Projared, a game review channel on youtube was falsely accused of being a child predator by a bunch of kids who coordinated to destroy him on discord. Those kids provided fabricated "evidence" and managed to destroy Projared's growth, get their channel booted of their network, and destroyed their business relationships with their sponsors and other partners. All this because of the mentality that multiple parties can…
These are grown intelligent women with no connection.
I'm not saying it's impossible they are lying, just improbable.
I have lurked here for a long time, but felt compelled to create an account to respond to comments in this thread because of how disappointed I was. This community is part of the problem. On a human level, how can you be so concerned that there's an outside chance that the accused is completely innocent, and at the same time, ignore the fact that in all likelihood, another human was exploited and raped? Yes, there is…
we shouldn't be cancelling people on one sided stories when people reflect back on life and wish they made different choices.
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It wasn't my intention nor do I believe that's what I'm doing. I'm simply using this event to highlight to other current and future parents like myself that we need to overcome our discomfort with discussing sex with our children so that we can provide them with tools should they ever find themselves in similar situations. I posit that her parents hadn't had those conversations, but I'm also not blaming them in any w…
Asking for that doesn't take away the fact you decided to focus on how the victim's parents could have prevented that instead of focusing on the crime itself. It's an indirect way of blaming the victim instead of the accuser. We see this all the time when women get killed and someone says "we have to tell people it's not safe to go around alone at night". First, let's try to fix the real issue and then we can focus o…
However, to suggest I'm blaming the victim is the epitome of putting words in my mouth and I soundly reject that suggestion as nothing short of offensive. I have done no such thing, nor would I ever.
I respectfully ask that you retract any such suggestion.
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"What if a bunch of your ex-girlfriends or ex-boyfriends got together and decided to ruin your life with accusations?" This just pretty much does not happen without reason, and I think it is safe to say that if it did, you are probably a terrible person.
Similar happened to me. I dated a woman whose step sister was dating my 2nd cousin (no genetic interbreeding). At some point we had a falling out about her infidelity, but her emotional sway with both her family and mine were more supportive of her story. At first it was just "it didn't work out" but as time passed she decided, for reasons I don't know or understand, that I needed to be punished. She invented several…
It's a shame your ex made up lies about you, that probably happens a lot.
It is worth pointing out that you are trying to make a point with this story, and you are the only one telling it, and I'm supposed to take you on your word that this actually happened..
Yet here we have multiple adult grown adult women, unrelated to each other yet similar (minorities, poor, vulnerable), trying to make their point with 3x the "backing", and so many want to call them liars immediately.
It's funny in a sad way.
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I once had 11 different people, all friends, accuse me of doing something bad(littering). Literally everyone was confident I did it. They all saw me do it. Everyone piled on me to just admit I did it. I said I never littered, that I hate litterers, and that I have never even eaten the kind of food item that the wrapper came from. They got even madder at me for denying that I did it, as if I was trying to gaslight the…
Same with Galileo, and many others. There's power in number, but not in this particular case and context. Thanks for sharing your story.
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"What if a bunch of cops who don't even know you got together and decided to ruin your life with accusations?" This just pretty much does not happen without reason, and I think it is safe to say that if it did, you are probably a terrible person.
This is different, because, statistically, cops ruin peoples lives a lot more often than a team of ex girlfriends... Cops work together, therefor they collude... If you are in high school, and all the girls are teenagers and are in school together, they also may collude.. I'm sorry, I do not see the same likelihood of collusion in this case of intelligent women who had no relation to each other.
Also, it seems fairly presumptive to assume that ex-partners are intelligent. And to assume that intelligent people don't do crazy things(see: Lisa Nowak)